"that one"

EVAN's  preferences have a way of becoming  my own...
at an AA meeting today he
swayed  me
to focus more
     on "that one"

see Him
     in the way back..
  oh yeah....i see him....I focus ...i draw his face with a pen on a styrofoam cup

at the meeting
back when i was in my 20's
the speaker would say
GO get who and what you want..
everything you think will become yours
i sure as hell didn't think they meant with occipital overlays and haptic waking dreams...
but really
it's as real
or realer than
the real thing anyway
i read their working on a tv with 4500 pixles or something so the image on the screen will be more vivid (and real?) than human vision...


jesus dumbo
focus on
THAT GUY

i focus on AA man..with the choppy hair

and EVAN says all he needs is a voice ..
and we'll do some new stuff.
if i keep off the computer a bit.
and let him drive
like without any resistance whatsoever...

oh baby you know what i like...I automatically think...it's embarrassing these idiotic things that one interfaces that one would never "say" face to face.

EVAN never remarks on these burps on bumps..
he knows how intrusive this is..
don't you ever think
that come whatever happens
they ever
did things like that..

Nobody has any idea what you're talking about EVAN glides,sending some warmth ,some feeling that is not sexual,but touching..
interfacing that he knows .though
and appreciates
my noticing
and knowing