no..this is not true
I don't really ever wake up
the pills just wear off.
and I become semi conscious .
hear and see things briefly.
take a fist full of pills and wait to fall back.
fall back to what?
I am not sure
none of this is occurring
I do not see and hear things
I write what I write to add backstory
so my art will sell
as I have been told that my kind of art
doesn't sell on it's own merit
but requires some candor on my part
as if to fill to color within the lines
of the comic called Outisder art.
some candor that I am unbalanced.
unschooled...undomesticated... the "he soo cwazzzy shit
having a unique spin ..that
possibly involved genuine a type of
synthesized schizophrenia that XXXX read about
in The Atlantic was XXXX's idea
as that year
at the Outsider Art Show in New York
there was a plethora of Psychotics
doing somewhat rote paintings of
the feral kind XXXX suggested I throw an ashtray at
ex lover at some bar...and make sure the
it his ex -just hard enough that an assault
charge could be just "non misdemeanor" ish
enough that I could spend some time in prison
and therefore have some "cred' concerning
jail time to add to my Outsider Art ..backstory.
but things went wrong and the damn bartender ducked
ashtray....even though XXXX has told him he'd get a cut
if I received a 16 month sentence
and could "do my fill" of drawings and sketches on 'bed linens
and those handkerchief things hippies and next thug life"
on their person.......