a man writing from a
women's perspective'..........................................
EVAN 's interface implies
"is gay\
,and not the right kind of gay..." the weak limp wrist-ed gay
the musical theatre homosexual
who turned began thinking of men as love objects
not lust object
because this type of lessor
was physical weak
emotionally unstable
so weak
this type of boy
had identity problems with his masculinity
he
did not know if he was
male or female
he seems to be testing me
trying to incite memories
trying to find out if I am
a man who loves men
because that is what real men prefer
or a queer who dissociated himself
and confused basic gender roles
the antithesis of Men who lust for Men
Gary Rainy
wrote endlessly about types of homosexuals
he despised some
and
envied
others
Gary Rainy
said he knew through his
communications with the entity
that Men Lay with Other men
in caveman times
and ONLY bothered with women
to create the Perfect Specimen
I can almost feel the waves
the scan going deeper into my
early youth
so much of it
following the rules of Rainy.
as I was Raised
and born
to Neuronauts
EVAN
knows what it means to be raised to think and see two ways
to have to go through the
Grasping
some pass out
some never wake up..
at age five all male boys
are attacked in their sleep
by a devoted follower of the new Way
the attack is to cause a trauma so severe that one Splits
in shards
so that one becomes compressed
like a diamond
into facets
caused only by layers and layers of stress and stressors
EVAN wants the story i am attempting to tell to not be cheapened by women
not that kind of woman
anyway
Valerie Prentiss .and Linda N..are different
they are valued in an entirely different way
as Royalty
of such ancient ascension
that they transcend their female- ness for true and utter Goddess-ness
not this diva goddess shit on TV ...
but True Divine Vessels of
....
"what i am you fuckhead ," I think knowing I am interfacing so tired of being presented with all forms of ideals and example s of those Bettor than myself..
he knows i am rummaging(forced to ...by the intrusive interface that always wants ....and finds more and more to take
and rake through
One
becomes
the
thing
they are scanning for
or moreso
variations of
"In Search of"
" BCI-"the truth machine"
never quite gets to a genuine truth
it entraps one's mind into
association
referential
and juxtaposition
in this case
i search my childhood memory as if on their side
dragging the river
for me
the
jist is that I am the wrong kind
it always is
tableaus
are seen in my mind's eye
that they see as the images are transmitted in a complicated wave patterns of dendrite and synapse
and reconstructed
for review
i try to SEE WHITE
but I grow weaker
with my buffers
am i trying to convince them/
with false images and word pictures and false neural compositions of inner monologue
that I am the right kind of homosexuals
but now that the idea of the wrong kind
all i see of my youth is
weakness
"is that me/' i see in my mind's eye literally in a ballet dress with
a
limp wrist out stretched
twirling in circles on one foot?EVAN you MONSTER you KUNT
I give him fake memories .real ones.
"is that me being lifted on the backs of teammates ,for the winning touchdown..'
i include
a few swatches of
remembered bed sheet patterns and wallpaper designs and all sorts of logo of my youth...cereal brands that promised sugar..and thus temporal escape
raceway park commercials. carvel cookie PUSS ..The Fonz.
whatever
to give him something to read and feed on....
i go to reach for my pills that stop all thought.
but also stop all fight
all sight
sorry
i interface
though how can i be sorry anymore
for not being
what
what did they expect
all of The Rainy Children were raised
To Be
some mathematical inevitability
so much of our childhood was regulated
either with neural linguistic Sleep Aids.
sub aural recordings..
not the Roman
God
Gay God
all hail the Spartan cocksucker
that is welcomed into
into and onto
and over
and upon "In to it" intuit Neuronauts with trumpets and magic
Evan Rainy
does not like that i write about the New Way
practicing on kids..
practicing their re-do voodoo..sleep through moon dances
and chants
that are pitched to emulate Hz of intracranial confusion transmutation...
Fuck You EVAN
whose "family"
saw fit to Nano me up
for 'talkin about it'
for thinkin I was jimmy olsen
bout" it
you forget i was in it
raised by it
i was brought up
in the new old religion*
on the ranch
my mother feel in love with with zealot
and became one herself
she sold flowers at the airport for Gary Rainy
who needed and deserved to Live larger in the Large house in the compound
i mean the ranch i mean the acreage
my mother wore flowers in her hair and sold flowers at the airport
she sold her body at the hotels near the airport
for the cause
for Gary Rainy to
Live in the style that he would become accustomed to
and my mother
and the rest of us
became accustomed to whatever Gary told us was best for us
in the long run
never mind that Gary Rainy
implicitly stated that only
a seduction
a bothersome "happening' prior to age 6
could really
schism a child
to Mind Augment and Higher Being
never mind
that it
was introduced
the entire SUBJECT
perhaps perhaps
during early adulthood
during Group Vortexuals
confessionals
meant to Bring us away and Back
again and again and again to the incident
that Gary Claimed
was our
WAY
of making MEN out you
women were here and tolerated only because they served a purpose
begat beget
purposed for
like your mother
she served no other purpose ..like my own
Gary had 5 wives
and 17 mistresses and
you Brother
and I your brother'
EVAN 's interface implies
"it's gay,and not the right kind of gay..." the weak limp wrist-ed gay
not the Roman God Gay God
all hail the spartan
that is welcomes into the Neuronauts with trumpets and l boys and moppets at their feet..
oh you didn't know
there were different kinds of homos
i am reminded if my thoughts
turn
trey.
...
my mind has been destroyed ...thank g-d we
are mending you
thank g-d you came back
you are your mother's son
a real man fucked another after a hunt a hunt was only to produce children ..the best looking hunt the prettiest best-est..
it was why Rainy needed so many wives
a new world could begin on one thousand acres.
in more ways than
won
Gary Rainy made distinctions
based
on science
based on types
on the distance between eyes and noses from chins
he used tape measures and calipers to measure features ...to differentiate
the Men from the Voids
I interface to EVAN
we were brought up without books
for books contained words
and words were what THEY made up
those outside
the WAY
we learned to think without words
we would be indigo children psychic soldiers of The New Way
we used clay and clapping,drums ,thunping
anything but tongues
according to Gary Rainy the fall of man began not with Adam and Eve eating the apple but
man labeling all things
He would walk back and forth on the swept floor of the moldy barn
that eventually would be the Theater.
where the tapes and films were made
"Genesis 2 :19",he shouted,"The End of Thought ,the Beginning of The Big wash...the Word Wash!"He would speak like a tv preacher,but smile at us ,so we were in on it,
".... God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.
and man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field and soon he gave word! and more words To everything thing he saw .everything he felt .and these words came into other's minds ...leaving them eventuallly with NO MINDS at all...THAT
is what Neuronautics IS about
Teahcing
YOU How to THINK
without words...!without THEM!
MUST
BRING UP
our kids
our tribe
OUR WAY!
apart from others
you don't get in trouble with these kinds of people
but i don't know how to..
either back down
or bow down to this..
i don't
kid myself I winning any kind of fight
every word i write only
seems to
your diagnosis
of paranoid schizophrenic..
doesn't it?
the obsessive manner ....of the rants..
notice if you go to the first page of the blog
there is no real beginning
disorganized thought is a primary symptom of
schizophrenia
and delusions .
NOW
that people are
UP to Something..
i am up to nothing but stating my case
there is no such thing as brain computer interface
there is no such thing as nano particles
and there is no history of humankind
ever conducting no human testing on humans.
or outsourcing
the dirty work
to....
OTHERS
one goes mad
it catches up to you
every thought
....every memory
one begins thinking for them...
they come to the headsets
and to
and
towards
your mind with preconceived
ideas of who you are
you are a case
a box
to shake
and brake
one's thoughts cannot help but become sicker.
perverted
as if one's mind is fighting them with fire
the church of the poisoned mind
GET OUUUT
GET OUT
*Indigo children are believed to possess special, unusual and sometimes supernatural traits or abilities..and are being studied along with schizophrenics and many in the so called "autistic spectrum" to help create the "new language "necessary for safe,effective "Mind to Mind interface,Artificial and Virtual Reality Exploration According to "ex -members" of a progressive movement and pseudo "religion" created by Gary Rainy induced childhood trauma (sexual,physical and psychological)"Childhood Incidentals" could Craft a Child into a psychic being which he called a"Magnicent (or magical being)
according to Tappe
Indigo Children
thought in pre-linguistic
or pre- Word
thought patterns
according to Tappe 'Indigo Children " could be identified
by several tell tale signs;
- the belief that they are empathetic, curious, strong-willed, independent, and often perceived by friends and family as being strange;
- possess a clear sense of self-definition and purpose;
- exhibit a strong innate subconscious spirituality from early childhood (which, however, does not necessarily imply a direct interest in spiritual or religious areas);
- a strong feeling of entitlement, or "deserving to be here."
Other alleged traits include:[
- a high intelligence quotient, an inherent intuitive ability; and
- resistance to rigid, control-based paradigms of authority.
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