Thursday, February 19, 2015

mouse of the rising son, Evan graphs

- before he  lectures me.
that I can no longer just lay around
and think to him pictures...
              that it is part of my obligation to Proxy cyber to demonstrate that "one can
live in two worlds.." simultaneously...and function
and prove that one can  perform whatever "job"and 'social aspects of  day to day living"
while tethered to my  Tele -Operators

and next he interfaces  "how very selfish I am" to not consider
how being "an  addendum to "The Project"
might mean
SOMETHING Beyond just  our little "Dumbo.DUMBO!"....

....for instance ,Evan graphs and I  sense  his rage rip through me some Imbue of
I have no idea half the time if my Mandlers understand..
just how much of their Emotion
zips through me...

and I receive a non vocalized thought
"of course we do...Elroy"
the mean streak of Evan's is accompanied by frightful imagery
of skulls and imagery out of some  Salvatore Dali painting 'come to life"
my heart races...
and I imagine Evan delighting in
that "once more " I "know" my place in this

sometimes this sense of terror is all Evan needs to 'reformat" his Tele-Presence toward some semblance of
my literally being a human being instead of just some "specimen"

"It turns me on ," Evan graphs...sexually to feel you
like that...

"everyone has their Thang Dumbo...duh -duh d-on't they?"hmmmmm

It get hard.In spite of myself
and sense Evan cum....
and like I'm a teenager I cum without having to so much as jack off.

,'imagine one was placed in some space rocket on a very long journey to Mars...all alone..
how one might "go crazy" if one was deprived of stimulation from
another person
for great lengths of time
as a cartload of DVDs of "The Sopranos" or "Breaking Bad"
"ain't gonna exactly keep one on such a mission " quite engaged enough to
"retain some semblance of sanity" would it Dumbo?
so this "so called predicament" you are in being in constant contact with another via the biotech we spiked you with
isn't "to drive you mad " but rather
if it doesn't stretch you beyond your capacities
rather "keep one sane" under  quite different circumstances

also how this "so called intrusive " technology might also allow ,for instance one to communicate with someone in a coma...or with locked -in syndrome..
or other neurological deficits...

"so you're going to put me in a rocket to Mars?'I graph

"No Dumbo ...we're gonna put you in rocket to Mars you fuckin' idiot.I sometimes wonder why I bother trying to exemplify anything whatsoever to you at all.."

"I'm just tired of it ...," I graph.

"Do you think it's not tiresome listening to you think all day...Do you think this is fuckin' picnic on this is what it is...'Evan graphs," We just can't have you be so non have to paint. you have to socialize....and have sex...this is about YOU getting ME off....not me showing you cartoons all day Dumbo!
 I feel like the one being USED here
..not the other way around ..I'm not some DJ ....I'm not some damn TV Dumbo can lay around in Strawberry Fields all you'd better start  "moving around a bit Kitt-O or WE WILL start prodding you like some damn  Guinea Pig who refuses to get on his wheel Man! You had better start providing us with a bit more Vicarious  ..."

"Or what?" I graph.

"Or what? Or we'll drive you outta your fuckin' mind and you try any more of that Chickie Levitt shit on Tru Christie one more time babe...You'll be seeing stars more ways than one.. ."

"It' was  an automatic response ....I can't help it..." I graph, remembering "a little trick with Nick"

that Evan says I had better not "replay" on his watch...

to keep me "in tow" he sends me a pre-recorded rendition of me four point restraints with a surgeon "all set"to skin me alive..
to "make the imagery" stick
Evan some how sends me a small dose of pain
and a JUMP CUT of a gloved hand holding a razor blade up close and personal to a CLOSE UP of an eyelid...

"damn Evan," I graph..

"You Make Me DO THESE things..." He graphs back..

I can tell this isn't no threshold test and just Evan in a pulling wings of flies "state of mind"

In spite of myself I do not" retaliate" with any "The Cell" imagery...
I was taught early on...
to go " Tommy Walker" blank
"ever since I was a young boy..."
in other words
"turn the other cheek"

and Evan zips me a rush of ketamine signal....



In a very patiert almost loving way he says I have to learn how "go Tommy Walker"when Tru gets "mosaic" on my mind...and NEVER go "cosmic come up-pance " on Tru when he gets" carried away Going "Toastal" on your Temporals..(I get the feeling Evan is preparing me for "some special nightmare stuff" They pull every few weeks....
just to "get a Glean ' if someone really can be "scared to death"
early on "my team ; explained ----"they have to do some serious Deep Scanning Deep Emotiv work but there's always a "nurse "
a "guard" on "Nightwatch' to ....
pull me out of "it"
Evan reminds me to..never forget WE don't have inserts ....we have headsets .we can take off...You HAVE to think TOMMY
when Tru is your Muralist..
("my Muralist ,"I graph , "My Freddy Kruger " I  graph back,trying not to think sarcastically ...THEY have so many NICE words for some of the shit they pull on me..Muralist.
...Evan graphs me an indicator that "his shift is over....and I will just be placed on Manuel"

"I thought you fired Manuel," I graph

"Funny ," Evan graphs ....sending me a visual of a unicorn leaping over a rainbow if "his new think" is book ending his "shift"
"don't go Chickie Levitt on Tru Christie...and moreso NEVER go "cosmic retribution "on him
he's just doing his job....
Night Terrors are simply a part of our bid...
nothing personal kiddo....

and as a final "see you in the morning " Evan reminds me-
TOMMY WALKER is all we want in response toward aggression
it's why you were raised "Tommy " style
never forget
.the shit we put inside you Dumbo is bonded right to your dendrites.."

"oh trust me Evan ...I never forget ..," I graph

"and trust me Dumbo! WE never forgive"
graphs .back.

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