Sunday, February 8, 2015

husk/puss n' bots

   2011--------------I had written ....screenplay treatments  back in LA  before- LA became a Monster Movie in itself.
before I became possessed...not super naturally oooh they tried to bend that one on me..not be aliens...they had me going with that as well..and not "in tone with " no " spirit of the Lord"...they were even a wee bit stand off ish "going there..why in fact they made so damn sure I knew wasn't just some "it came Psychotic from Inner State!" etc..instead of "you wish buddy...we put stuff all up in you kiddo...(after of course about 40 days and nites of  Hello earthling...share with us Thee "eyes upon van nuys ,thy ears of the Valley>>and than some kind of bad take on "The Possession of Peter Proud.The Omen and more horror movies than a man can be imbued with without finding himself literally tied  4 point restraint style to some bed in Olive view hospital..that's where they began explaining..."you're an experiment. We had to break you in....cause all kinds of damage was done property as I emerged as ...Joe 90 by way of Human Testing via I dare not say how many folks in LA are into"The Singularilty' but there's way ,way more to just bots and brainstorm this ..."new way" off making someone "attuned" to ...some A.I.  than it Europe they have about 1 million folks unsolicited 'sky pilots" whose every blink and think is recorded...cause they got bots up their brain...nanotech bots 6000 of these little buggers can fit on a head of a pin....and certain groups the bid...the contracts ..license to use them on one might use a leash on some dog they found....don't you be thinking cause I take some liberties (as I have no liberties. I feel fine taking whatever liberties I CAN...explaining the un explainable...but I worry sometimes I am explaining it too "friendly' but there is nothing friendly here...just fear get attached to this odd you might ...anyone who is always there...but they don't think of you as anything but a project...a thing...and they think you a liability cuz' no boduy it seems wants nobody talking about human ..well they shouldn't have done it ...than STTTTTOP ...boy what they did to me,,manpractically .-- came with lit torches  and chains to get "the monster" out of LA..they explained...I was born for the way as well....raised all wonky deliberately JUST for advanced Technologies...made me have to back track ...through my whole childhood...till I was like...OOOOOOOOH BOY!nooooooo wonder!

it was a game to them
It was "Saw"it  was "Hostel" via electromagnetics
A non-invasive system and process for converting sensory data, e.g., visual, audio, taste, smell or touch, to neural firing timing differences in a human brain and using acoustic signals to generate the neural firing time differences. Data related to neural firing time differences, the acoustic signals, and a user's response map may be stored in memory. The user's response map may be used to more accurately map the calculated neural firing time differences to
so  the situations were ,,,,,,,,,,,,,all in your head..but do not think this made then seem less fact it was realer than real..
too real synthesized or not ...all you have is your mind and what you know of the world ...and the myths that they used..were somehow used against you..and than
things  just happened "to go" with ''all that was happening inside you..a new friend ,your new friend  dressed just like a cheerleader on some FX suddenly your best friend..she's not a teen ,,not in high school but a stripper..who says she just likes wearing the cheerleader uniform how it feels around her crotch where she places your hand ...Oh I know ,,,we'll meet Paul later..he's also a too will get along real real you long time...she giggled. Leaving the apartment which now seems as if it should come with a laugh track...
 your apartment becomes no longer you own
but a "set"
odd things happen
 including the sound that first night of about 100 helicopters.
odd things are said .odd because it all sounds scripted but fucking is fucking..and a good htt of
what it is.
I still don't believe I survived that ONE night
a night I don't if I could ever explain
the cops knew what was going on...also the attorney ..the judge..
I thought  I 'd get a parade oe some from going through it..
not quite.
it just continued
it was like a movie ..just for me..
just they'd get me in jail
and get me to sign some form for experimental treatment ...
the apps"


...I don't know who sent the type writer.
I don't know if it was sent to just get me from typing online.
I don't know if the letter was really from **** the other envelopes  that just "appear" it came with no stamp,,,no address,,, it didn't just fly here from LA..
and why wouldn't some producer or whatever just email me....
still it got me thinking why am I writing this.
and if I'm gonna write it why not write it... so at the very least it reads in order......even if someone took the damn time to write up some phony .....summations.
hell I don't even know if this person read a single page..
but the type writer. Brand new me thinking ....a lie or not about someone being interested in making this some movie .or book...might as well make lemonade out of lemons...but thing is .I prided myself on not having any reason for writing this but to try to explain any kinda way I had to....on my someone else;'s head,,,cuz way to tell a story this weird that you know is really happening ..
as is.,,
it it might be good to just say fuck THEM
it's all about THE MMMMMoney

..It reads backwards for Christ's's about me essentially having interface with some voice that goes with and sometimes doesn't go with me seeing things..
it sure kept keeps  me distracted
like a cat with yarn or a dog with some bone.
it kept me from painting is what I now get.

I can't imagine trying to spend the next year going  through stuff I posted ,,held back..stuff in notebooks ..
taking away all the factual evidence. The science.copywrites,,
                   and what would I have
I guy hearing voices and seeing shit.
A  reason
to  keep going back to the crack.

that's the way it is...and no heroin..
and no pain pills.

they signal me ketamine but only when they want to

or when "I'm Good"
the way one might with a fuckin dog.
.I smoke it why,,,cuz I care so damn little if I live...mainly I am threatened when I type
and some loony
someone possessed
it's scary..always..
I cross lines maybe I shouldn't in explaining how it began..
there is none of me left ...from what I was in my 20s it's hard to picture me having a personality
...there is none of me left   les and less as this goes on like an endless tv show.
it takes everything from you
there less and less of me than  that I HAD of me  LAST even last  YEAR
THIS thing
AND SOME TYPE WRITER psych-out ..let's get Dumbo thinking he;s gonna get a movie made out of being used like a fucking lab rat

I hate him sometimes ..he's all into Neuroanutics now like Gary Rainy is fuckin Jesus,,
I began writing of neuronautics wrong...I feel two ways about them

I do understand them..
but I am not
Pure enough ..or...something enough to be in "their  club'" except as this Dumbo...
a guy they literally spiked up to "practice ...Mind Auditing..mind regressives...getting rid of associations placing new assocaitions..
it was bad enough when they did it to me..I mean for me
at the annex...
it was bad enough growing up with it..
all my foster parents were in the movement..the "church"
never mind I was born Jewish one took me to synagogue only the annexes..
always it was Neuronautics ...all our  friends had to be in the group

it never felt weird.
but than again I didn't know
what was going on
they don't call it ritualized abuse...they call it stylized parenting..
cause they knew about the Merge Technology
Christ only knows how much dough someone paid someone to get ..
their hands on it

xxxxx  does some speed and we fuck around I do a but..
than he know we're not really ever gonna do drugs again

and i'm like
what else do we even do together
but he's mister Neuronautics Man

so what.

but he's good to hold...when his mouth is shut...there still is something good I feel emanating from him..

Puss n' Bots
"One must never place a stripper  wearing a cheerleading uniform on the stage if   that cheerleader's uniform isn't going to come  off her by act three," Evan graphs,
"People are visual more than aural concerning  "the world stage especially when sex is involved and this is even more the case concerning tv that bypasses one eyes.."
Evan has Visaged himself as a take on one of the donkeyboy's from Pinocchio..nothing very sexual about that,i think..i am half asleep and not in the mood "to play" or be played with/
"No nothing very sexual bout that",Evan Graphs,reading my thoughts," but there must have been something appealing about that type of "pack" for you,.... the sub alpha male -wigger type ,druggie loser types you would inevitably follow during most of your life, often to the detriment of your own health,wealth and capacities..."
"Oh brother" I say to myself and thus to the "A.I" in the Sky"...they're doing "The Ghosts of Xmas past February?"
Evan switches his Visage to Jessica Lange in 'All That Jazz"/Angle- his voice too...Lange-I-an...
which I suppose makes me the half dead guy ,The actor in Jaws.
"No honey in the movie Jaws"you'd always be the  the dopey boyfriend with no real part..who girlfriend appears in seaweed..and sections.on the beach..the ineffectual NOBODY who serves no purpose..oh wait ."I do believe he might have played a bad folk song around the bonfire the night his gal pal got so sick of his singing or the threat he might  touch her again that she swims out to sea hoping for some action...if the action is so intenses it rips her to bits at least nobody can say "The Girl" didn't experience complete sensory life..nor feared some people
I bolt upright only to see remnants..pixels of Jessica Lange "All that Jazz"morph into
Evan as 1940's Technicolor donkey boy...
siting on a chair in my room

"why u think we placed people in your life ...that now you seem to be dragging into the mud..
because autistics generally  ..without being forced into social situations otherwise
might   well hmmmm OOOOh I don't know dumbo !spend all day ..
up in their rooms talking/graphing  to
Telepresence.."He graphs
I graph back-
"you mean instead of placed actors and actresses placed all around "Dumbo" like one hundred community theater versions of The Who's"Tommy" going off at once? when the "autisitc" the captive autistic knows about the 'street theater /"Truman Show" shit" this autistic may as well be dealing with Tele-Presnse in the safety of his room...'
But the room gets suddenly unsafe...and Evan's character Visage TURNS menacing...scary white faced -Ingmar Berman/ death head..
next Evan settles on some Jonny Depp like Tim BurtiN Nightmare Before Xmas "look"graphing,
"Our therapeutic style of bringing up dumbo and bringing  little dumbo out of himself cannot be judged by a grown man wearing speed racer pajamas,can it," Depp/Evan imparts.

I look down at my sleep wear and think was cold "is all"and none of anyone's business what I wear but find myself graphing-
'my mother gave them to me" and I make a move I to unscrew my script bottle next to the bed..
I wait for a warning
but they know I "just seem to do what i want" and I swallow 2 ativans,,and drink some  warm soda

"a turned down day huh..." Evan graphs,snarls
I watch smoke not literally but extraperceptionally holographically  come out of  Evan again as donkey boy's ears

"Closest thing I have to an off button,a buffer"i graph, indicating the benzoes ,the pills which I hate..hate the dullness the "endless sleep" fog of Ativan Nothingness"
I know they can't do a deep read...a too close interaction when I take pills..
"do you know the damage you are doing to yourself with benzodiazepine..that stuff makes your brainsmaller..literally neurologically brain shrinkage.."Evan graphs
"Yes EVAN I DOOOOO KNOW this! <" I graph"
and this wake up every morning to Tunetown expends my brain and world ?"
'between the devil and dumbo jew scene huh' Evan graphs in loony tune lame.

"yeah,uh huh Evan," I graph, taking off my speed racer  pajamas..."whatever you just said..Get it ..?
I don't care about your stories.."

"yeah you were doing so well with your own inner monologue..,"Evan graphs again as Jessica Lange ,but now as Jessica Lange in "Francis"
(and once again I amlike dude...who lets you use like all these characters Visages..these actor Visages and're not allowed to do this shit)
I am ignored.It'snone of my business. Of Course..A man laced with Bots be read and written over makes the mistake IT IS his business.
This BUSINESS thet're allowed to "pull" on him
my rage is soften by the Ativan
I suddenly don't care
"you got your self all confused...with your story..
placing blame when only a more gamesmanlike MAN should have mead entrance  But olde Puss N Bots instaed uses Ativan and a way of running under your mother's skirt's when the A.I. gets too
should be the one  wearing some cheerleaders uniform..
but than again you never had what a took to be a stripper..
just a dirty your any of your "placed" mothers," Lange says Visaging me to see myself as Some British actor..
wearing a cheerleading uniform..
I feel some feminine vibe in me disturbing..
"don't fuck with me snip and our mickey mouse be comes..a mini version of himself.,,and we ain't talking no Virtual World back and forth Tex..

he now looks like one of the guys I met decades ago in LA ,the one with the gun
and I feel stupid in my Speed Racer Bottoms.
I sense "the guys" look how much nothing you 've become"
and sense he 's about to read all my excuse...
"oh so sorry dumbo..
should we have left you on santa monica blvd? sucking  cock in cars behind Vons...

I was was an in  between time..I think and thus graph...I would have become something better
and we told you hey we can make some thing of you..right

"yeah you  sure did,,you made me hear stuff.."I graph,
"and you thought u could run away
but we caught you.." He graphs
"yeah and ya drove me nuts...I graph.
and than it went away.......

 but we said hey little dumbo we'll be back in ten years
know why?
cause we were recording your every fucking thought for ten years.
remembered when your got the crabs by that hot Romanian guy in 97..those were NO crabs kid but bots..bots that went bingo bongo right up to your brian pan..
and than we set you up for an upgrade in 2011..and we expect a bit of compensation  from Hallo Space Boi.,,so start puuling yourself together...lay off the soda pop..and the benzoes..and if ya' really think ya' need a crack on the me..we'll be right here to give you one .Got it?"
and he fades away

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