a time for every event.under heaven.

I come down stairs wearing the blue shirt half opened....and wearing the tie half tied...
and XXXX says,'Uh uh..that's not how we wear our uniform is it?....

'it's the best I can do," I say ,I know he wants me to come to the Neuronautics Annex with him one .It's Dean , one of my old face to face Mentor's birthday.I know I can't go into the Annex with my shirt like this...
I don't know why I even put it on..
and I like that.
I like not knowing what I am doing...I want the Direct Neural Interface to completely over -ride me...
I don't want to have to think at all...I want no autonomy at all.
I want to completely be told what to do...
but it doesn't work like that..

everything is  a test.
it feels like
an endless personality test.
I want no personality anymore....except one "beamed  to me " by my "Team":
it's the least I feel they can do for me..
 I know they can reset me...
over lay signal my over my own synapses...

I stop and think of Myron May....and how he wrote endlessly about being "made a Targeted Individual"
I take the blue shirt off...
and know I look like an idiot to XXXX sitting there in my T-Shirt and black tie..
so I put the shirt on again...
and than take it off again...

XXXX says,"and here we go ....Pinocchio once again reasserts himself..."

I feel he is studying me.
Like he may as well be reading my "Signal -ship" ,like a Mandler.
He is though.
he knows...and will always know I put on the blue shirt and tie..
and than took it off and than on...
that he will always know how little "my consciousness....my beliefs matter------sometimes"
I start thinking if he deliberately "triggered me " Cued" me somehow..
that is 'after all" XXXX's "job"

He drops his car keys on the kitchen table and I see him text ,presumably Dean ,the OT,the operating Tele-Presense
at the Annex...
and see XXXX take off his blue shirt and black tie..
"I told him  there was emergency..." XXXX says
"and there is .isn't there...?"

I shrug..

XXXX sits down across from me...making direct eye contact.
which he knows I hate..
and says,"When people go to a nightclub....the Right Night club ...that people want to "get into'
there is always a rope
isn't there.
so only "a certain kind " gets into to the club
now IF the club set the rope up in such a way that Blacks or Jews or Japanese people COULDN'T get in
there would be an outcry...
but that's not what the rope is for....

that's all we're talking about here....
making America....
a bit more
like a club like that ...is that wrong....?.......for NOW ...the style of the times says YES this is WRONG
but
that is going to change...

and OUR JOB Dumbo is to say .....what ?", XXXX asks ,"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-- A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.…-?' XXXX says, "Now YOU say it..."

I put might head down...

"Ah to hell with you ,"XXXX says,picking up his car keys.