her stepfather had told her
when she was 13
that she had 'the bod"
and the face of a porn star
especially when he was trying to get on top of her
that's all she had to go on in terms of "future endeavor' she might be good at
when she ran off in the middle of the night
with her stepfather's wallet.
and mother's purse
it was cold.
she would have went anywhere but "home"
she checked the time schedules
of the buses.
she assumed she might have to live outside for a while.
she needed someplace warm..
the fare to California was cheaper.the trip shorter
she used up her money quickly ..
mainly on cabs
the city made no sense to her.
she assumed that Hollywood
or LA was Hollywood...
once she got to Hollywood
she was surprised
and disappointed ,as it was nothing but a line of small stores..
she didn't know what she expected...
but she did
she expected people walking around in Roman Emperor costumes and showgirls...and lions ..and lion trainers...
in the public streets.
things like residential neighborhoods and supermarkets never entered the picture "in her mind's eye"VISION of LA,maybe she was the "dumb piece of uppity trash" her mother said she was
she took buses.
that took her anywhere.
and found she liked the sights she on on bus that took her to "The Valley"
she could picture cowboys and indians
being filmed there.
when she was little that was what her Real Dad watched
and the "backdrop' just seemed
like somewhere he'd like
although he was dead.
she often spoke to him.or felt she did.
The SanFernando valley
it seemed safe
in a way Hollywood did not
she had always looked older than she was..
she could find work
by lying about her age..
but every store and restaurant she attempted to apply to
asked for ID
A man who had overheard another "sorry,but ..."
and bought her a soda.
telling her a 'girl like you' shouldn't working in some fast food place to begin with...
"oh if I've heard one story before it was this one before.."she said
she had now been in the Adult Film Industry 5 years
she put down the 'script"that had to do with Cheerleaders...
and told the director
she was quitting the business...
"sure babe"the director said,not looking up from the camera he was readjusting..."heard that story too before...take a few days off go to Palm Springs or something "
she drove to her acting class...
real "acting "
where she didn't have to "act "like she enjoyed being balled by two guys in a pool...
she had made alot of friends
in the class...
and had begun
seeing a Guy
who often dropped by the class-The Guy said he was
The Guy wasn't
in the Movie Business.
but the Gaming Business.
and told her that Computer Gaming needed actors.
and since Amber had
been simulating for years.
she might be perfect.
"perfect for what"she asked.
"if I told ya I'd have to kill ya....but I can say..it's very much ahead of it's time..."
Amber had taken classes in Voice Over and assumed maybe this Gaming Company wanted to use her voice for a character..Like The Sims..
"it's a little more complicated than that..it's about brain waves...and recorded experience...and sometimes we need pretty women to instigate a good read... invite someone skeptical about "sharing" to Join the Club..
"i don't understand" she said.
'You shouldn't ,in fact it's better all around if you don't..it's really that new.."The Man said."Ever been to Minneapolis?