Wednesday, February 8, 2017

bridge

it isn't lost on me that I haven't been made to really see much of anything
these last few days
except what I do with natural sight
no playful over laps or spooky images to allow me to roll with immersive reality in a manner that negates my wanting what everyone else
does not just seem to have but does have
in terms of adult life
-adult life -does not go with my -outsider -ism
in the least
nor does it -go with - my various attempts - to explain rather candidly -detail-ly
how much work wenHAt into making me this little speck of a man
who supposedly
and also -clinically - care nothing at all about any reality outside his own head
--ooooooh how un - un true this is
and if I only knew -the bargain - I was making -to go along with this rubbish decades ago
OF COURSE expecting some rewards that would undo and NOT in fact RE-INSTATE
what -outsider - means
oooooo not just with paint sets and Poutsider Art Fairs
with me ( as coached -to wear a sports jacket either 2 sizes too small or too big ...given a mix of something something an hour ahead of 'showtime' to appear as skittish as bed bug )
wishing to be anywhere but in the "limelight" of LOOK what the LOONY did with chalk and ceiling wax on a Speed Racer pillow case !)
yes yes yes I was coached to say about various
institutions I was never in
and about that nasty crack habit that made the side effects of those nasty neuroleptics go down
with ease...
sometime in 2012
after being hoodwinked once too often
MK Often style by the HAARP-ies and ELF waves round and about my orbit to make my even more of a dink
in my Raw Vision of Time Life side deals that supposedly need a stable of highly Unstable
stupor-ed types to allow others to There But For The Grace of God Go I
with their shipping of Downtrodden Doodlings made by
just folks like me literally downsized by electromagnetica' to BE the GUY nooooobody wants to be
live in places nooooooobody in their right mind or otherwise wants to live in
surrounded by people whose main job is to make sure
he is typified as -just the type -for no worldly purpose (otherworld- perhaps ...he thinks himself a prophet --Oh I now I understand ,now I understand !...ah ,yes Mandlers ..I have grazed the last 3 pages of mealy mouth muthafuker -you have finally found my voice ...


a pang of hurting from above
below and Inside Out goes through me

a sense of fear...
and conjurings of me standing arms out
on the Wissahicken Bridge
-this time -this time READY SET to GO
-if
I do not show at least the smallest farling of gratitude for THIS VOICE


we can make you look better too
and if you only knew how Method the Meth in Reno iz these days for Man in the Mood Marriage Goals
so tired of trying to get out of it

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