Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Rose Garden

every few months I am made to "snap out "of the entrainment quite deliberately so i may
fully be made to understand  that the entrainment has caused a few more months to "fly by'
in the utter nothing of induced "mini seizure"required to attenuate one towards the oscillation/pulse
of the "word generator"
as if according to some user's manual-during the respite - my cognitions, emotions and perceptions
are brought back to "Square One" so I might best mourn the passing of time and all I might have done with my time and life if i were not being hurt in this bizarre and unusual manner
rumination- relatively non existent in my 'day to day" life when entrained is now the desired effect
so I best understand the punishment
This time I am neither here nor there enough to even "think properly"of the squandered life
This time I take it in but feel absolutely nothing.

I remember years ago seeing the adaptation of "I Never Promised You A Rose Garden " on TV and being somewhat confused what lyrical schizophrenia meant to this "girl'
wondered how such a fantastical inner narrative could so take over her ability to function
Now I understand - not because I am schizophrenic but because a weapon has been made to simulate madness.











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