Friday, June 30, 2017

june 30 2017

I guess you live with it
but there was (not anymore ) something to trying to explain it
not for money.not for credit. and not - i don't think - to get help
but to figure it out?
or maybe to occupy oneself while it  was ( is) happening
sure - it occurred to me - there would be a time -I just didn't - or couldn't live with it anymore
I had tried - bowing out of it on 2 occasions
never would i use drugs to - bow out again..-


i think I'm still supposed to help -minimize it-
but the truth is - after all these years of it
even if it ended..
I would have less then what i had before it began
I am basically homeless
and have "no job"
I have not painted in 6 years
that was how i made a living
I am also 6 years older
I trust nobody - i don't believe in my country
nor law,justice - anything--

i am meaner then I was..I am angrier..
for years so caught up in the "interface " synthetic or otherwise
i do not connect to anyone.

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