Thursday, October 1, 2015

I immediately feel
the word is not sick...but that "my Team" at Proxy Cyber" want to do a Deep Learning session upon me
which require I be alone from Liam OR XXXX
I am allowed to either lay partly down as long as I am prone on the bed in way that uses the bed not as sleep ..or a place to rest.
I am not allowed to prop my head on a pillow and must keep my knees up if I decide not to sit in the "special chair" -nothing special about ...except it's a recliner and faces a white scrim  I was told to face...
and a poster of a Giraffe the poster which I got from The New Way
it shows a giraffe with a small next. than a larger next than a little longer..and finally a giraffe we know as giraffe now
It's a Level One technique to go into REACH state
and trigger your mind to wipe itself clean toward
EVOLTIONARY mindstates.
it's sounds stupid and sorta is ..AND the poster cost 70 dollars
without even a frame.
so sometime I look at the poster and just think I was ripped off because I had seen the same almost exactly 20 x 40 inch poster online that was only 15 dollars
except it didn't have the seal on it of The New Way
My team is patient with me thinking this knowing I can not always focus or clear my mind fast enough to just
be open for input

the input concerns usually
something that has come up in course of neuron to neuron thinking
and TV is the jist of todays Deep Learning
I am slowly fading into it...segueing...
when the phone rings
it's my 3rd stepmother
a practicing Neuronaut
before I can even say hello she begins speaking

florence  henderson spent close to 6 years creating an image for herself and hence the American public playing carol brady on tv
and destroyed the entire character she and others had invested millions in
by appearing in a movie decades later based upon the series the brady bunch
by purposely playing against type in a small strangely specious scene
that in one fell swoop destroyed what the brand of the brady bunch and hence the carol brady
no matter that embedded in a certain demographic's is the carol brady of the early 70's
who represent an albeit stylized idealized version of motherhood
did ms Henderson have the right to tinker with a brand that represented wholesomeness and
and for what?

"what" I say

'Always What .Always WHAT
what what with you
never satisfied.
always needing more than anyone has a right to graph for
watch your step
you are playing a game you can't win kiddo"

and she hangs up the phone
I try staring at the giraffe
little giraffe with little tiny neck
bigger giraffe with a little long neck
but I can't get into..

I mess everything up.I am never satisfied ...I think to myself and thus to my "team" back at Proxy Cyber
I always need more than anyone has a right........

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