Saturday, October 24, 2015

"kill yourself as soon as possible,"it said.but the Slow Kill was strangely entrancing..

all that hard work
                     we put into abusing you as a child !
 and building you up as a Degenerate Outsider Artist !
 all that work making you as non functional as possible !...all those druggie boyfriends we set you up  to warehouse you  for years!
                            to make you the piece of human scum we needed to SHOW the world

what type  NEEDS to be subdued !

all blown to hell !

 My Mental Illness....can I really call this "Them" anything else anymore---
as fiction

If I "outsource" Mind Research " to meant to drive another insane
to just
plain old insanity

at least for today
I feel I am "winning"by refusing to think of my "tether" to "something out side myself that has somehow "gotten into me "
as something
is anything but a defect in my genetics.

-let us do away with the charade - of Mandrel's ...Synthetic telepathy..-Neuroweapons..-
to write daily of something nobody believes in
whether or not
a small group of people know it is so
-is in fact

it is mad is it not to write about something 99% of people on earth do not believe in

as I have stated and not for the first time
I believe (if such a weapon existed)
and IF such a weapon was being used on "dissidents" and ordinary people alike
those commissioned to use such weaponry
very much would rely upon
those Targeted with such weapons to -"seal the deal"

Often..too often I get confused that (IF...such studies were being done...if such testing /weapon was a reality)
that I matter in the least
as anything but
what I might offer

-what I offer- I have realized is a somewhat inane version of "what could and might " happen if this weapon .
If A.I.and Brain Human Interface in fact existed..

certainly rather than simply an endless babble about my day to day activities or more so the limitation of range of motion and ranger of emotion
there needs to be
accounts of the "such weapons/ testing / research being done " that "go beyond"
today they did this to me
yesterday that.
no...there needs to be something akin to "art"/fiction accompany
documenting something as yet(except  -IN My FEEBLE MISGUIDED MIND) not understood in the public 's mind
as "plot point" in Hollywood movies and TV

the thought least today
of giving any credence
factionalism or even fervor trying to detail
not my 'fight" with
Figure-a tively (of course)
would ---at least in my delusions..
give such an unseen source/force
as something important
no weapons is
important unless it is seen,heard or implicated.
(if one poisons another ...and no traces of this poison are discovered and no tests have been done to seek such causality
dead and buried ...the man or woman poisoned except to the poisoner (maybe not even to the victim )
has NOT been poisoned  at all

 ----how  does one speak of  a person with severe mental problems -

as afflicted.

as suffering from

most are familiar emotional disturbances
depression ,anxiety   etc
not many with what are called Thought Disorders
where Perceptions are altered via hallucinations or delusional thoughts ..which run contrary with
our shared understanding of reality

------the machinery of this A.I. I have spent years writing about as well as the Street Theatere like 'mobbing" of a person to perpetuate "false reality' ---

can just as easily be
as people do in fact enjoy  reading and even seeing another fall apart.
much more than physically
(physical deterioration hits too close to home that ONE DAY -we all "fall apart" --believe it or not
one of the reasons for some Mind Research is to make "age-ing"not hit close to home....but just "hiy one" it is time to Upload One's mind...)

why do people enjoy watching people fall apart psychologically ..
and yes..
for the time being
I will "give it a go' truly writing of my situation as it 'reads) -I am LOCO

do people enjoy watching another lose their mind
because "Therefore by the grace of God Go I/"
or because we now see the world and everything in it
as entertainment

  (3) must consider hospitalization....certainly before I once more  am given the old 302  "calling All cars " contrivance" My teams have put me through more times than i care to recall ...
you're gonna  regret this day DUMBO! and you'll see how hard it is not to write online you r ...NO OUR little stories! You piece of human garbage when we amp up the stories and it will be like you're writing bad science fiction online like some automaton. And trust me scumbag NO ONE will ever publish you ..or buy a single piece of your scumbag art.
Hmmmm...I give it a think..and type
"...this isn't a dream this is  really happening ..!" i write
"We'll make you so sure of that you turncoat assh*le it won't seem so funny will it..?"
"Ahhh just pay some ex CIA dude to write some 'tell all" tell nothing expose on Synthetic this time make the type face and cover  I don't look like something someone won't be embarrassed to carry on a damn bus ...and I know book the "Limited Hang Out" on NPR instead of some damn late night talk show that  uses a Theremin to introduce it's guests.....And pay the next dupe you get to write this sh*t a living wage ...set him up in a damn decent loft...even in the movies they don't "play artist ' wearing a beret eating bread and lighting his canvases on fire for warmth buddy...Next time PAY for someone to type this bullshit online  all day...More than anyone you guys know it be all about MONEY...uh oh ! I gave myself away huh ? ...for a few more dollars would I have kept this guise up about being some dude being chipped.. Glad I actually I never had to make that the way...would i have kept i t up if you released some story in mainstream media about Brain Machine interface..something logical...where the chips aren't as big as postage stamps....and all testing was done on volunteers...maybe...In the mean time i got you some names of a couple whores/hacks to continue this narrative ...but this time pay them some decent dough...and give them some square footage...

"покончить жизнь самоубийством, как можно скорее,"*

 яростным голоса said.No сказал, было не так word.It был и всегда будет "все в моей голове .... обманывать заблуждения ... раннее слабоумие ... это органические мысль disorder..Oh дорогой читатель, конечно, я стремился любой и каждый объяснение я мог найти, чтобы искать убежища в чем, но разнообразие сад думал disorder.Finally ..finally мой разум достаточно открыт! принять эту горькую truth.The дорогу к велнес, может теперь начать. "покончить жизнь самоубийством, как можно скорее," снова и снова я слышу, и я слышу.
"Господь о дать мне силы, чтобы сделать это ... ибо я верю свою работу здесь. Это сделано"

translation 'Kill Yourself as Soon as Possible"

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