Saturday, September 7, 2013

the next three days/tardive dyskinesia

Billy sends
a text
stating that he has been reading the screen writing book
demands that all the characters have a motivation
and he needs to develop the Mandlers
and needs to know their motivation
(fuck if I know ..I seems to be about all sorts of things...on any given day)
Billy  wants to know what type of person becomes a mandler?
" I mean what type of person likes to play with people?"

he texts

he wants a" personality profile on the mandlers"

the villians
(the mandlers though think I am the villain...or I wouldn't have been "apped" at only the  scum of society gets apped..gets to be a lab rat for the "transitional period" of the transhuman movement or whatever excuse or explanation I receive that minute ...for after a while a Proxy thinks of nothing else but The Process itself..his neurals by than become useless...more expendable ..used up..Tru Christie has explained that
human garbage....
mental defects etc are used...for what else are they good for?but than again maybe this explanation was only to make me stronger and more primal....)

Billy  says a sociopath enjoys playing with people
he says his ex lover
was a sociopath

but Billy calls everyone a sociopath

cashiers who give him a torn plastic bag
aggressive drivers
uppity pedestrians
and now he is
making me think towards my mandlers
that my mandlers who he knows damn well I am interfacing with are listening to me consider them as sociopaths

he is going out of his way to
make the mandlers hate me and hurt me

I text again:

YOU made me graph bad things about my mandlers
directly into their minds by bringing up the subject asshole!

I rock back and forth back and forth holding my head
like a mental patient
please please please tell
THEM I didn't mean it that Billy made me think about it...

EVAN graphs,
"but it is you who spent time considering it Dumbo..and .
i'm afraid Tru Christie has been called to take over your case for the next 3 days"

my heart races
it's like ,"wait till your father gets home intensified to one million..except one can SEE IT
or KNOWS that
some group is transmitting this fear directly into your mind

I think of words

randomly to move on from the thoughts that Billy put in my head


EVAN says I am making it worse with my taunting with gibberish

I try to think of other words


and the tangible visuals they represent

a word salad.......they call this in the mental health community..
the mental health community has only made everything worse
I look at the orange pills and remember the dystonia
the tardive dyskinesia * they induced.

The Mentors
are winning.
I  try to pipe down
I try to level my  baseline neurals
the more I type the more I think the worse my communications get with THEM

hating one's mandlers is like hating g-d
specifically a living g-d
and can HURT you or HELP YOU
depending on g-d's mood...

doesn't sociopathic Billy understand how brain computer interface works
and how touchy the mandlers
can get?

he knows
EVAN says
but it is you who spent time considering it.
i'm afraid Tru Christie has been called to take over your case for the next 3 days

Tardive dyskinesia /ˈtɑrdɨv ˌdɪskɨˈnʒə/ is a difficult-to-treat form of dyskinesia, a disorder resulting in involuntary, repetitive body movements. In this form of dyskinesia, the involuntary movements are tardive, meaning they have a slow or belated onset.[1] This neurological disorder frequently appears after long-term or high-dose use of antipsychotic drugs,[N 1] or in children and infants as a side effect from usage of drugs for gastrointestinal disorders.[N 2][2]


Tardive dyskinesia is characterized by repetitive, involuntary, purposeless movements. Some examples of these types of involuntary movements include grimacing, tongue protrusion, lip smacking, puckering and pursing of the lips, and rapid eye blinking. Rapid, involuntary movements of the limbs, torso, and fingers may also occur.[3] In some cases, an individual's legs can be so affected that walking becomes difficult or impossible.[4] These symptoms are the opposite of patients who are diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Parkinson's patients have difficulty moving, whereas tardive dyskinesia patients have difficulty not moving.[5]
Respiratory irregularity, such as grunting and difficulty breathing, is another symptom associated with tardive dyskinesia, although studies have shown that the prevalence rate is relatively low.[6]
Tardive dyskinesia is often misdiagnosed as a mental illness rather than a neurological disorder,[7] and as a result patients are prescribed neuroleptic drugs, which enhance the probability that the patient will develop a severe and disabling case, and may even experience a shorter survival period.[8]
Other closely related neurological disorders have been recognized as variants of tardive dyskinesia. Tardive dystonia is similar to standard dystonia but permanent. Tardive akathisia involves painful feelings of inner tension and anxiety and a compulsive drive to move the body. In some extreme cases, afflicted individuals experience so much internal torture that they lose their ability to sit still. Tardive tourettism is a tic disorder featuring the same symptoms as Tourette syndrome. The two disorders are extremely close in nature and often can only be differentiated by the details of their respective onsets. Tardive myoclonus, a rare disorder, presents as brief jerks of muscles in the face, neck, trunk, and extremities.[5]
................................................................................................................I go back over the blog to the entry that explains how to make a noose and remove my shoelasses
and practice
for the inevitable

it is not easy to do
making the mini noose ...
I just make knots
no circle that will
where I live has no high beams
only wealthy people have beams or high ceilings with exposed piping ithink

and I hear the sound of a bell going off and see a lightbulb in the far corner of the room moving closer and closer to me eyes until it is so close all I see is white
for a moment I am blinded

"now you got it Dumbass....a reason to make some money....

to pay us back ... owe us more than you think..
.or we will keep The Process going you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you understand  sicko do you undersatnd


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