proxy cyber sensia

1990

 

 

(1)

 

I needed a shrink to sign some paper saying I was loco

 as to get on welfare.

so I could paint rather than' work "

I had begun hanging out with other  older artists downtown

and they said that's what they all had done ..had to do

 to focus their efforts on learning how to paint without the

wasted hours of being a "Petshop Boy"

or Pizza Boi

after one gets on welfare it is quite easy to seamlessly stretch a documented  mental illness into

a near "working wage" with SSI payments..

 

it seemed like a good idea .

at the time.

 

 All primed, wearing an over sized T-shirt I had made sure I had slept in for 3 days..and peppered with just enough stains as to not make seem costumed

I lit a bowl and off I went to the nearest   mental health clinic nearest to the temporary address a fellow artist/musician /male escort/model  had let me use...

as my own

being  stoned I thought might help "my case"

I was worried I would forget "my lines'

that I feeldepressedsometimes feelpeople areaftermeorlooking at medonot sleepwell...and a bunch of other such  suchness

several seasoned sloths/artist/musicians

had written down on a piece of paper I had studied  and tried to memorize for the last 4 days

the problem with weed ..for me at least...was that weed unlike coke

in fact makes me crazy...

and crazy it seemed was just

 Dr Kleinstein was waiting for 

 

(2)

Dr K was working with an experimental drug

made by Proxy Cyber Sensia

Zac was unaware that  the pill called Merge   was not really a pill at all

meaning it's means of action were not really  

 chemical in nature nor action

but electronic

nor was Zac informed

that once one took the capsule that the "effect" of the capsule

had no half life.

once one took Merge .Merge bonded itself to one very dendrite

forever and for all time

(3)

Zac Berger was not what Mr and Mrs David Berger  wanted out of son

the last thing Zac's father had said to him at his cousin's Bat Mitzvah

was that Zac maybe should always wear a yamaka on his head

so there would at least be "something" blocking Zac's degenerate thoughts

from the Lord

.

Zac who had been Bar Mitzvah-ed and went through the usual -alities of Hebrew school

had always wondered what the yamaka was for,

almost as much as Zac wondered what the hell a single word he sung at his Bar Mitzvah meant.

 

Zac decided not to remove  his yamaka ,as a sign of respect to G-d (as a buffer between his thoughts and the Lord) when he snorted enough coke in the rented ballroom

to brace himself enough  able to hug his mother shake his father's hand and get out of there before he actually

had much time to think about what his Dad had just said to him.

or more so what he was afraid he might say back.

                                                                                   2001



I was informed in Los Angeles by the powers that Be and seize and break into one'sapartment and set one up with love interests and dose with DMT
that if  "that if I had nothing NICE to paint ..well..I should not paint at all."

at the time
all that was missing from the odd request..
was someone breaking my hand's a la James Woods in the  1978 mini movie  "The Holocaust"
by the way
the mini movie that was "The Holocaust" does not hold up well..

much more frightening however
 is the fact that the actual  Holocaust the mini movie was based upon
(1934-1945)
 has not held up well  either.

except as blueprint for The Singualrity