Tuesday, September 12, 2017

I see snakes around "Valerie's" head and hair ..now, now ,now

all through his  (it's) childhood
and not just -the bottle
always served to him when he/ it was done crying
"done " being hungry

all through his childhood
when he was grown enough -to just know'
something - was not right
aside from the beatings and mocking doled out from
his "female head of household"

not his mother -
his real mother he only visited every other weekend
and the duality could not be more white to this blackness

how he wanted to tell HER
what happened here
but if he so much as told HER the color of the latest drapes in the
BAD PLACE somehow IT got back to
the woman who hit him, beat him and mocked him

'don't tell that crazy kunt anything that happens here DUMBO "
Gloria his foster mother would say
pinching his ears
she said were Big Ears that heard everything
and she might do right snipping them off
and saying hie did to himself
and off he'd go to a nut farm

"Dumbo" understood what a - nut farm was-
because one day
one strange day when even the Male Head of Household
was around
and Gloria was being nice to him

"Today we're all going to watch a movie...
a grown up movie because you're becoming a grown up.."

Food was allowed to be eaten in the big room he was hardly ever allowed in
( he stayed in the finished basement where children stay -but not all children "Dumbo" learned more and more on the rare trips on play dates...less and less
because 'Dumbo" was punished -
"nobody wants to be around a disgusting boy like you - they're parents are just being nice letting you go there. Why should I burden their kindness you disgusting pig ?")

A movie called 'The Snake Pit" was announced
and "Dumbo" thought it was going to be about snakes
he positioned himself on the floor where he was close to the TV
hoping "him being grown up " enough to now be with the family might mean everything had changed
and smelled the crackers his foster mom brought in followed by the most foul smelling thing he learned was lindburger cheese and the movie began

THESE were the memories of Childhood 'Dumbo ' lived with more and more
as he became schooled in
this child rearing practice not being an 'isolated sport"
but systematic

THESE were the thoughts he used to channel his craving for an event
in those that must have known -to some extent - how he was raised
and used him for their continuation of a man made only to serve a function


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