brand

i start to write of suicide
my thoughts of such
once again -according to Mandlers - the wrong way

that has nothing to do with the torture
except in a indirect way
and the point of so very much of this document has to do with the torment of psychophysical weapons
being the reason i kill myself
not something as -mundane- as the cumulative effects of substance abuse
-that may or may not be
(a) why i write of visual and aural hallucinations
and the psychotic sense of being manipulated by a 'hidden hand"
in essense spoiling the attempt to circumvent  Active Denial esoteric
mind weapons
via a never ending account of my circumstances by way of  a variation of Enforced Writing
-
maybe this alone however once and for portrays me as the type of human scum
weirdo reprobate un american freak who deserves to be but an online representation of Slow Kill
extermination
at this point I have little idea of what was expected of me
-
who on earth wants to
be a poster boy for Weirdo
unless of course it helps them sell their art..
and that dear weirdo I admit I willingly went along with
I am no hero
-just a guy who was trying to pay the rent
little did I know exactly what I was getting into
agreeing to the backstory created for me
in an attempt to "make me a brand"back in the late 1990's