Wednesday, April 15, 2015

pill seeking behavior

"I just came to get a refill I tell the shrink," careful to keep my feet from tapping ,careful to not keep my arms unfolded...I was even careful not to wear dark colors...but a light blue T -shirt with a football teams's name on it ..that indicates(  a.) I am "with a team,with my fellow citizens" and that (b)"I am light ,bright and clean " not Dark...in my assemblage and visage...

I tell the Dr. I might have to cut the session short because I must help a sick friend.

"Do what ?" the shrink asks

"what do you mean you have to help a sick friend. Help this sick friend get well?" he says sarcastically

"No..I have to take him to a Dr's appointment" I say ,crossing my arms.

The Dr. writes something on a small tablet.

""what ,"I say, feeling ,hearing my foot tapping jittering,"You don't believe me?"

"no," the Dr says.

"well..like I said...I just came for my prescription..everything is ok...and I really don't feel like talking is all"

"Sometimes when a client doesn't FEEL like talking and THINKS he is DOING OK...is when the client is with holding "Whatever the case may be"..The Dr says

"You know my CASE...and you know I'd prefer to be called a patient...rather than a client"I say

"So you'd prefer me to think of you as a MENTALPATIENT rather than a CLIENT?" the shrink says leaning back in his chair.

"yes,I suppose I would," I say.

The shrink leans forward in his chair and says"Quite like you prefer calling The Voices you HEAR and THINGS you SEE Mandlers rather than a Thought Disorder"

I feel my fist crunch up into a little ball and sense the Dr. noticing this and stop,and unfold my arms..and stop my leg from tapping/

"What have the Voices been telling you this week?" the Dr asks,"have you written it down like I asked you?"

Luckily I have.And when I remove my small mead tablet he seems satisfied..Like I am a goooood boy...a gooooood client..

"should  I read it?"I ask.

"Please do," the shrink says

"well..alot of stuff about some construction company called RMK -BRJ and this construction company's role in Vietnam. And some tidbits about film stock and stylization concerning Paul Schrader's "American Gigolo". Also some details about EASTMAN Color LF Print film, 7378 and it's mproved cyan dye and this film stock's effect on the cones and rods of the cornea and thus dream states.."

"The Voices ,that's what the voices have been speaking to you about this week Jim?"the Dr.says folding his arms.

'The Mandlers seem to have moved on concerning my Deep Learning Brain Computer Interface I suppose.."I say

"Well maybe Jim,you should Move On...,"the Dr says making a brushing movement with his hand ,a waving movement, like there are crumbs only he SEES in the air that he wants to sweep away,"move On and perhaps find another Dr. who believes in Mandlers ."

"You might be right," I say,"as this I agree is  getting us nowhere," I say my eyes looking at the door ..as the dr's brushing waving movement indicated I look in this direction, "can I have my pills though"

Almost in an angry manner ,the shrink usually keeps to himself ,he scribbles out my prescriptions on a pad ," Pill seeking behavior" the Dr. grumbles to himself.

'What?"I ask, under the impression that if someone speaks, it is not usually to themselves if someone else (mental patient OR client or anyone for that matter is within earshot..Unless of course the dear Dr. was hearing Voices)

"I SAID you exhibit PILL SEEKING BEHAVIOR JIM," The Dr. says, standing up..

I stand up myself and reach for the scripts. Seroquel and Xanax,"Of course I exhibit Pill Seeking Behavior  I need pills..right? I have a Thought Disorder right?"

'Tell your Mandlers I said Good Bye and Good Riddance to both you and your Interface "The Dr says, angrily  making another Shoo Shoo gesture at me .

"Dr.," I say,"I don't have to TELL Mandlers anything, they KNOW everything I think and see and feel and hear...that's how the bio tech works ,man...haven't you listened to a word I have said.."

'Please Go Jim..and be sure to thank yourself very much for wasting both my time and your own time"The shrink says

"And here I was ",I say, " always,always defending you to my Mandlers who believe ,even for a hack you are hackneyed in both your suppositions and counsel "

"Get out of here before I call security," the shrink says..holding his finger on a small button  near the phone.


 

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