Monday, November 2, 2015

once .
before I knew.knew what it was
I couldn't write a word of it.
so many words
but the meaning was purposely
not about language
but control and overpowering another
in a way that seemed supernatural ,mystical, demonic
it was meant to
without all of this myth .these ideas .introduced to us day in day out on tv in movies.
what would it have had to work with?
I wonder now

now I can wonder
maybe I was better off under the tidal wave of it
and could not think
of this oh so un-natural weapon
a neuro-weapon
what mad land or nation would dare develop this
creating a new type of war
on the mind and
not metaphorically
the perfect weapon
non lethal
meted out in plain sight
wireless is the wind now blowing through us like are made for "it"
to take
the sight of the target you might only see
but you don't -do you
you see crazy .if you see us at all.
we ,those targeted don't see you either
as anything
except -what we might have been
before this
when we too used the social media as you do now
we can't and do not use the social media as you do
this facebook .this twitter,this blog
why? because to many of us Targeted this facebook the social media acts only as Time Stamp
as documentation
(I will document this any which way I can..
in tragic comic novella..
I will throw in sex..tired old plot points ...and "adventure" and intrigue
I will not and cannot
write of it "as is"
it is too close to the bone..and people only seem to understand something
that seems so unreal
if it contains
the very aspects of "every day life" that get taken away year by year
more and more
if one is a Target.
the goal
is death
suicide and homicide
Big Game
but no Big Gamble
not yet
but nothing remains hidden
the monsters like to show the blood on their hands and lips to outsiders
or where is the fun
maybe that's why they really want me to write
and scream and die online first than off
a psychological operation to destroy another
with neuro-technology requires the destruction of the target's inner narrative
the Mantis Shrimp dumb down means I am getting too close to something
gone is all trace
of all normalcy of day to day living..
but this is not liberation
but vivisection
the Stasi used many forms of
debase-ing techniques
in and around a person's home life and workplace to
disorient the target
(the truth is I want to die...maybe that is why I write.
to put it off...
One doesn't 'win" in this New Kind of world
that has decided the enemy is within our borders..."The New Way.has decided that the weapon of choice should be a weapon one cannot see.
a weapon so cruel and unusual
that it's very crafting ..the very fact someone ..some "team' sat down and said YES
we must perfect this is in itself it's Plausible Deniability
the powers that use this technology take advantage of "the average man or woman"
not possibly believing
certain measure might be taken to entrain another..
in this way
the fact that
people are basically "good" is taken advantage of.
a 'good " person cannot truly believe very bad things are done...
the Germans who lived within 3 miles of several concentration camps
DID NOT KNOW what was taking place I now believe
(they must have known about "re location...and work camps" yes ) but I believe most
in their wildest imaginations
could not conjure up the horrors taking place behind the gates..
there was a reason that the fronts of the concentrations camps were kept well landscaped and designed for optimum "normalcy"
could the camps have been operational if it's inner sanctum was not hidden
what is terrifying
isn't my life being shortened with the "Hidden "of wireless weaponry
it is there will be no proof
this is not a delusion ,,,we say it online knowing our words are read ..we are the small percent who were happy to know that our every e-mail ..every backspace and text was read
thinking in retrospect foolishly
save us
we no longer think this
if anything it gave us a little bit more understanding
of who
we were dealing with
it should not be too difficult for someone to imagine
what a target becomes
attacked year in year out
with weapons unseen ,invisible direct energy mean to harm one's brain
billions of dollars to incite synthetic madness
upon a human organism
has paid off.
it works
but until "it works" on you dear reader
let us just say "I'm crazy"
but when they GET one of you
or a loved one of yours
let's just call it -even
it's goal
from the start was to
and seem
and feel
as foreign as it could
to be taken as "it"
not something within the realm of nature
the fear - was all it wanted to say
and by saying so much and so little at the same time
spoke more than I can explain.
I write of "it" now
not as it began
not how it was
the fear ..all alone with it..
it's goal
to over power you
You knew somehow before knowing anything about these weapons (and why would any of us ?)
have you?
that the "you" you were
you would never be again
but you did think "it" would end
you did think when it did stop you might find someway to pick up the pieces
(I no longer do)
My nervous system was destroyed years ago
we all just called it a Dystonic reaction
we didn't know electromagnetic energy aimed at someone body is meant to cause
such reactions
living with the "feeling" of this nervous system disorder.
hell in itself
I remember the first time I felt "it"
by now cannot remember a day with it..
(as I was involved in a car accident is natural one might assume one caused the other..)
this is not the case.
in my biography(I used to be an artist artist needs representative and a bio) ..that people who represented my work
always was the mention of "the artist" having a-
Parkinsonian like movement disorder
Dystonic jerks
but there was a refusal by those who managed my work to
change the biography to include the reason for such late onset (or early onset) symptoms
to include the word targeted in Non Lethal Technology
caused not only the movement disorder but
things I write about as much as possible
only as semi fictional
(why? distance myself form "it"
and to try to give some so intentionally "plotless" /meaningless ...some form some reason )
I do not paint anymore
I believe my paintings and some of my writing years ago in the 90's
got me
into this mess.
I don't care//should I have ...why did America not make it clear
what the rules really were like Russia and China al
I do not believe my writing will "get me out " of this mess...
perhaps only deeper in..
I used to be more careful what I wrote
but care ,self care in particular goes the way of one's losing more and more of their mind
(in a way...that indeed is akin to madness
except in it's source.
people refuse to understand any scientist would attempt to induce all the hallmarks of a genuine thought disorder upon a human being
but find it "bizarre" but possible that scientists have for years worked on equally
horrific methods of "combat"
such as biological weapons
a micro wave machine was used in the 1930s on over 200 thousand Jews and Gypsies and "Aberrants "
in Nazi Germans
yet if one speaks about microwaves ..or direct energy being used on people
suddenly you are "not right in the head'
those who spoke of hundreds of thousands being literally thrown onto cattle cars like meat and next brought to concentration camps
also must have seemed so outlandish (especially that a modern government was the source of these actions)
my mind floats in and out
I see scary "inlays
' visions everywhere I look
but nothing is worse than the sound
except maybe typing the last 3 sentences in one form or another to nobody
for nothing
-not a word is mentioned about terrible things occurring -
world wide
creating this unsee-able new format
od very old old ways of removing people from the population..genocide.
yet they have packaged me quite tidily as "ill"
in a manner that suited sales
those who sell my art or sold it
this man" Denny Pace"-shall we call him
" has overcome something debilitating to create "this piece'
this technique
worked well to sell art
and branded me- 'Outsider Artist"
Freak by another name
people who spend billions developing technology who most important feature
is it's implausibility
do not write back
or lift a finger to help
those who are in the position to help are very much the same people in positions
care little about the population
these are the people who govern us
why is this so
and was this always so?
I do not care about any government that creates weapons meant to drive another mad.
I do not care much
about anyone except those who have been targeted as well
family...friends ..not afflicted
I display the same indifference to they do to my (and other TIs) plight
is it their fault they cannot comprehend ?
would I really want them to?
I have become so cold
to my fellow man now
now 0that I know what man is capable of unleashing upon another
whatever pleasant memories or feelings I have had about family or friends
have been
and fragmentized
day in day out
there's no more "heart " left
except the one that pumps
like a mechanism
I am only a mechanism now
I am something used ..and cooked
I have no family now
they were killed in the trial
the trial that is mind decoding
the Brain Map/ Brain Inquisition
I see them on holidays
.old friends
I wear some bright and new to look saner than I am
but each year I care less how I appear
it is pleasant side effect of Slow Kill
that each year one lives the less one has any self left.
I feel bad on holidays or when my family or old friends stop in and see I am not here
though I am sitting right there.
years ago there might have been a lot of rage
me explaining what happened
it made people nervous
now I say nothing
asking them (asking you) to believe something I myself would not.
In any case
I am indifferent
I am crazy to them
and they mean nothing much to me now whatsoever
(they cannot ...all love ..all fear ...all tenderness and warmth and cold get mangled together
like play dough pieced all turn to gray
all feelings get ground into this puppet like stare
I do not want them near me
or showing up with candy at the next mental hospital
I am placed in
this will be my last time around that lap
I have decided.
The hate one feels for those who have targeted one
is too strong..
a weapon in it's self
I think now as it was
and when I didn't know what it was
or what I was
a Target -
DENNY PACE -notebook 23
(2)" The Book of Dumbo"
I don't go to the annex.
I took ativans to come off the Seroquel..
XXXX is nicer.
a little annoyed I have been writing instead of
drawing the little pictures he used to mock before they started selling
I am hyped up..
My Mandlers
graphed me the Mantis Shrimp emoji
and ..without much thinking I wrote about My team telling me ..I had Mantis Shrimp in my DNA from some testing make me strong.
I never know sometimes what is true ..
I never know what is going on...sometimes ...and start to delete the sentence about Mantis Shrimp DNA and my Team
graphs NO
not a good idea.
maybe that little Mantis Shrimp bit is the only reason you ain't holdin' your head screaming ..running to the ER
Little Prince
and so it stays..
and another day ends..
and all I can hope is it's getting closer and closer to my last

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