Sunday, November 10, 2013

"Harvey"

it is the beginning of the time of year.
(how right that thanksgiving and "the season" is introduced as if by design  the Terror Horror and Fright of Halloween)
that one 'whom does not get along well with others" either face to face or during mind to mind interface
(although I reckon ...and dearly HOPE that my participation in THIS Abomination of my civil and moral rights is only for testing and the "Scanners" type of problems I have with certain mentors only fodder  and demonstrosity of how best to mental ,wirelessly confound contort and coerce ..the ever present enemy OVER THERE
yet
it seems to me.
way to often
that
this is not a test for
what lies beneath (inside the mind) of some FOE across the sea
but to
dig up neural dirt and potedntial designs by "weirdos" ,pinkos and all kinds of locos
RIGHT here

on this soil...

hmmm

I have never appeared as "right"
put me in a 3 piece suit and somehow I look even wronger...
if I am made to smile or appear.."normal" I come of as disingenuous...
all through my childhood all I heard was 'stop acting that way ...stop it"
often all I was doing was staring into space
or sitting in a chair.
somehow even the way I sat was wrong
and some affront to established decorum...

I was diagnosed early on as autistic..
in a way
this let some of the
"mannerisms" of my Otherness slide...
until of course the going to school
opened up an entire new venue for"stop acting that way..." at first by the teachers
who would spill and purposely tip my desk over
dismayed how everything somehow got so messy and out of order.
as if I did this on purpose..
following suit
the other children picked up early on my far away- ness
and talk of me possibly "going to a more"useful" school" to my "needs'
luckily my father
said all he needs is to be LEFT ALONE

mainly I remember a knock knock knock on the door
disruption disruption
and being taken
to The Nice Woman
in a classroom that had carpet on the walls
this knock knock knock
Nice Woman came to bring me out  of class 3 to 4 times a week ...
in the carpet on the wall room we ate cookies
and either filled in tests
or talked about "what was realllly going on at home.."

I had 2 homes.
2 mothers and fathers.
visiting day and all that back and forth
driving
I hated being in cars
I hate cars even now
it was confusing
and unsettling going back and forth
on highways

what I remember most is hiding .
not wanting to go back

there'
or THERE
being A GROWN UP MEANT ONE DAY NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO OWN ME
BOY
WAS I WRONG

I am adult now who lives like a child
drawing and drawing...
in the backroom of people's houses who take me in..
I don't live alone except for spurts of time
as the Cybernetic Tests
want you alone
mainly to do tests
based on depersonalization caused by incarceration and or Psychotronic isolation.
(one gathers a lot by simply listening to one's mentor's supposedly private thoughts...,
as the mentors see you primarily as a subject they tend to forget that the interface goes 2 ways...


the holidays
give my Mentors a good deal of neural data to add
to my records
some recorded and cataloged way back in the 1970's and 80's
one soon discovers it was no accident I was
"commandeered ' on Santa Monica Blvd.
that according to Evan some ..unfortunates
were "born for the tests'
during my initial "spin"
much confusing opposing "data" and explanations" of the whys and wherefores as to why
I was seeing and hearing
were explained
including a great many myths and mumble jumble concerning superstition and the supernatural
unfortunately
I got my hands on a number of books published some time after the Nurenberg trials and the subsequent acquisition
of "Open Minded" Scientists
who
were
open to turn to whatever agency or country or university that leased them a car...

it was not just books that got me in trouble with the Men In Bio Sensored Hairnets
but movies
...the wrong movies
I was supposed to "naturally" assume (if the word natural has any warrant being in the same sentence with "Voice to God Technology"
I was possessed or in Communion with unearthly superior beings
but during my film going experiences as a youngster unfortunately for them) I was exposed and latched onto "Donovan's Brain" rather than "The Omen"
as some sort of plausible implausible
explanation for the neuro shenanigans being played against and in tandem and through my hippocampus
(I can barely begin to explain how much film and tv have to do with the mythologies this "war of the Worlds" mindfuck "radio broadcast" depends upon to scare a subject into both admission and submission)
it is the reason that both my childhood homes
had
neuro linguistic apparatus .."to put us to sleep ..but awakened sleep"
hidden beneath
plywood and Sheetrock..
and that our cable box  radio and tv were purposely set up so SUBSEQUENTS and REFERENTIAL media ASSOCIATIONS could be SET or at least registered by pre intra neural "change agents"

many cults
and religions
also self censor
a child's
gleanings
to outside influence

The Neuronautic Science -ideology Neuro Linguistic "sway" included either purposely or consequently in children raised Rainy
is one example.
and just one reason
Neuronauts send their children to Neuronautic schools
there are many loop holes in methods of child rearing
if one knows either the right
or wrong right people...

Thanksgiving and Christmas
however are difficult myths
to shield oneself
or one's offspring from

these holidays are also
hard even for an adult of any denomination or determination to hide from
(we are not really true animals anymore but all domesticated...these winter months when we should if we were "up to snuff" on the evolutionary " chain should be a time for sleep and HIDING from the elements
not putting on colored lights and pageants
celebrating the time of year
if not for modified reality
we would be goners in..

DO YOU EVER JUST SHUT UP DUMBO..a Voice Sounding like EVAN says
do you ever just stop...


I know what is coming
I can not honestly say I do not like it
THEY call him
HARVEY
like the play
like the movie
but HARVEY appears via my sensors and theirs not as a giant rabbit but a strapping shirtless
"actor"
I lose my train of thought
I feel what they call
my Hzs change to a more sexual,less autistic mode...
gone
temporally
temporarily are my thoughts and disgrunts
against Proxy Labs
and what they did to me

but still as HE comes closer
and I go further away and To Him
there's a part of me that resists...

"your resistance turns me on HE says..I like a man who wrestles pleasure"...

his dialog seems off
usually HE seems more natural..
as if the real actor .
is wearing the biosensors that take over my
soul
and body

but it is Sunday
and
Synthesized Harvey
beats thinking
or so
they have
taught
me
 

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