Outside the Denny's

it was like a new Kevin,he looked scared,like he remembered everything he said and knew he shouldn't have.He fumbled around in his jacket for a cigarette.He took one out .But put it back in the pack

"i gotta hand it to you with that impulse control with the cigarettes."

I put my arm around him,he flinched,but tried not to show it.

He was out there again.



Somewhere else.

I knew he hadnt taken anything Dad I was with him for 2 hours

he looked different.

his eyes.

Everything

he covered his face.

as if he felt it

he explained "the change in keys., dopamine levels

and some of the nerves or something ,very changeling "he said ,trying to joke.

"guess they have to get the bugs out.".I said trying to joke.,...".I think that we should go to the hospital."

"No" he yelled,"I'm not crazy."

I don't know why Dad.But suddenly I believed him.

I mean it sounded crazy

.But you didn't see him.

and god knows we have all seen him crazy

.....and those strange people who came in and out of his apartment

,as if they owned him or something.

i told him we should STILL go to the hospital

to get THEM out

they'll find nothing.the inserts are the size of pieces of rice and it can be done without inserts.

"besides they work there.They're eveywhere.You don't really get it... when you're Domed you 're Domed"

just 20 minutes earlier he was talking about it like he was possessd by Jesus or something,now he seemed ready to jump in front of a car

"we'll go to several hospitals.we'll just keep going...we'll go to the police."

"you don't GET IT!"he shouted

"i shouldn't have said anything.

they can do stuff ,they record everything,every thought.

Besides it's disloyal"

"disloyal to whom"

"my mentors.and the neuralists,it's a bit more sophisticated than it sounds..."

he visibly changed again.the dopamine,the facial nerves.it was bizarre.

Suddenly his mood brightened.

"let's go somewhere,let's go to a club or something"

in the car it was him smiling again ear to ear.

"you really should read Enways.it's all about respect and knowing other people might know more than you.might know what is right.Like Moses.If it weren't for Moses.People would still be praying to idols."

"what are YOU praying to?"I asked

"I don't pray.That's Santa Clause thinking,when was the last time you received anything.anything you prayed for?"he said

"i don't know if praying is about receiving things."I told him

"we don't believe in false myth." he said as if he were speaking for some congragation"we believe in apprenticeship and rank.And eldership.that yes maybe there can be people who know more.That is my faith,and it's all but gone from modern society."

he was talking again like some evangelist Dad.

His mood was still up.

I didn't know whether to take him to a hospital or kneel down beside him and ask him to bless me.