the exact sound of fork prongs against porcelain in both brevity and pitch
was purposely duplicated by Evan's father ,Gary Rainy
who sat across
the 10 foot by 4 foot oak table
that separated the two men
in the dark dining room that the two shared meals in
the room was enveloped in sound muting oriental rugs and tapestries
but sound seemed to echo nonetheless as if the gauze-ed, muffled large room were a airplane hangar
perhaps because conversation was so rare
that even a gulp
or sip of water
seemed to "say" something in the tense
that somehow felt so loud
Evan never knew if the continuation of "mirroring techniques" during these moody meals
was not based upon
a convenient setting for re- emphasizing the
Evan's father insisted become part of Evan's "Being-ness"
of the exact tone and breadth of Evan's "mis-handling of his fork
by his father
was not simply a retort or mocking reply to Evan's disharmonious Eminations
but a continuation of ape-ing adjuncts and adjustments Gary had spent years
attempting to impose upon his son's Inner-ness
Evan attempted to eat more carefully and co consciously
to not in any way offend "the Enway" of the Dining Room
but the intensive "carefulness" brought about by Evan 's self awareness regarding his Emanations
caused another break in the delicate ,balanced" Enway" that Gary Rainey's mere presence
and the sound of an overreaching of knife to gather a sliver of hashbrown to fork
created another metal on porcelain
Hearing the sound of the fork's over reaching it's intended target of diced potato
replicated the unpleasant sound with his own dishwear
banged his fist upon the table
before exited the dining room
Since he was a child his father had practiced Neuronautics Principals on his only son Evan
Evan had moved up the through the levels 1 thru 5 and
had done well in the advanced Qualitative Division within the Officiating Branches as a Q11 Commandant
therefore Trained to Mentor Levels 6s thru 8s Neuronauts
first in traditional
using the New Brain Computer Interface Equipment
that used much of the same techniques practiced in "Ground Bound" intake sessions..
Although Evan had preceded up the "Scales of Human Betterment "
and was much respected by his colleagues ,
always contended that most of his Mentors had probably gone very easy on him
concerning his Course load and "gamesmanship" capabilities
which according to Gary Rainey went hand in hand with the development of one's TRUE psychic abilities
rather than synthesized Mind to Mind Influences that anyone with an Emotive headset,,bluetooth and a P3000 neural translations program could emulate .
According to Gary
the Mind to Mind "hocus pocus" of Brain Computer Interface
was to be used ONLY to stimulate one's amygdala towards Primal States of Consciousness and thus Real Telepathy"
manipulating the Interface in a way that mimicked Spiritual Possession
to induce Primal Fear
that either drove one mad or drove one beyond themselves to Higher Affinity
Gary Rainy was sure that no Neuronaut dared "go to the necessary extremes"
of Technological Terror necessary to SEND Evan "beyond himself'
as Evan was aware of the Source of his tether
there was no real way he could ever be so frightened of it's intentional purpose of establishing itself as a
To Gary, Evan Rainy was something of a fraud.
His "mastery of Neuronautics strictly bookish"
Evan rainy wondered if THIS was the reason he put up with his father's "Independent Studies"
concerning Mirroring and Ape-ing Techniques usually only practiced on
Level Ones and Two-
The Chairs sat across from each other just far enough that Gary and his son's knees would not touch one another's
Gary would ask his son to sit perfectly still and keep his eyes "perfectly" vacant
Evan was allowed to blink but was not allowed to display any emotion.
Inevitably, mid exercise
Evan's eyes would tear up or his head or lips would tic or tremble ever so slightly
his father to either slap him , hit him on the top of his head or perhaps worse simply sigh
For his own good
these Exercises were done
his Father had warned him
THERE ARE THINGS .THERE ARE SPIRITS and EMANATIONS
that feed upon
those who leave their vessel and thus their mind OPEN to OUTSIDERS
who want nothing more than to PLACE their thoughts ,motivations and very souls
"a defensive" system
that according to Gary ,"needed to go just a bit further than crying like a faggot or burying one's head in one's pillow"
to aid his son's defenses
His father took away Evan's pillow.
and for years he slept without one ...
so he could not bury his head in it.
During one of his father's "Night Stalks" practiced ONLY according to his Father to "Man Up"
to the very real .
very dangerous Emanations and Living Invisible Forces
"just waiting" to attach themselves
an Unguarded Soul "
instead of his pillow Evan now hid beneath his blanket to buffer himself from what his Father called his " Fear of the unknown Known"
Gary took away Evan's blanket
so he would have no where to hide
and thus BE FORCED to
FLEE to a PLACE HIGHER than TERROR and FRIGHT and PAIN
Gary would talk about Jesus
and how HIGH up to heaven
How CLOSE to A Higher SENSE
HIS Physical Pain and Indescribable Suffering FORCED Jesus to REACH
The torment Jesus felt FORCED
Mindset UPWARD and ONWARD
to Commune COMPLETELY with An Entity
so much more intelligent
so much more powerful
and Enlightened than
Gary explained that even before Jesus tribes across Africa and Asia Minor and all through the land
Tribes placed their male children through deliberate obstacles and painful rites and terrifying ceremony
to enable their child
or what Gary said ,"The idiots and Ruiners of THEIR WORLD called Psychosis."
Only when his father spoke of Psychosis
did Evan ever notice anything resembling the same worry and anxiety he himself felt
"The day you were born
I saw THEM,"
Gary would say,
"all around you..The Emblematics..the "lost and hungry spirits in The Enway looking for someone to adhere to"
I asked myself what has this rebirthed Soul Done! to invite this Darkness into my home
I asked your mother to leave ...I divorced her on the spot
after I saw the Emanations ,not your own
practically encase you and carry you off..
I knew that it was not through ME, through MY VESSEL that your weakness
to DRAW IN
all matter and nature of ENROT into your Being came from.
Evan knew it was not tics but a lack of something
that made him
"Unable to even master the most basic tenants of Self Containment"
according to his father only self control
could enable one to control Others
AND their own and OTHER'S Emanations INTO the Enway..
YOU leave your self and the Organization open to all matter
of "Tag Along Emanations "
Or what Neuronautics referred to as Emblematics
and They would TRY again-
their eyes on each others
The goal again to
no emotion .
A Blankness of Selfness.or what in " Inway to the Enway" Gary called NON-PERMISSIVE NEUTRALITY
that blocked the
Responsive Mind 's tendency to be swayed by Ruin-atious Emblematics
When Evan inevitably blinked or frowned
His father would scold Evan for wasting his time with his seemingly Unresolvable SELF-NESS
that according to Gary,
"was so FULL OF ITSELF
that it could not help but
peek out and make a spectacle of ITSELF ...like a GIRL batting her eyelashes cause SHE seeks attention...
maybe you should start wearing make up Evan..some lipstick and some rouge so people might
see you more vividly"
again they would try
facing each other.
eye to eye.man to man.
if Evan tried focusing his eyes on his father in 'a fashion"
was Non Emanations
his father would tell him "it appears to me as if you are trying to LOOK THROUGH ME.
Like I DO NOT MATTER...
Is THAT what you THINK of ME?
was if Evan 's gaze was too direct
as Gary told him that Direct Eye Contact
"TOOK" from another.
"is that what you are attempting to do ? Are you trying to TAKE my Essence?"
"You.My Own Son cannot even make Eye Contact like a Man..you chose to either LOOK THROUGH ME as if I am LESS than YOU
You LOOK INTO ME like you want what I have inside me..
How are you going to stand up to MEN
When you cannot even SIT DOWN to your own father
How might you be able to lead
when you cannot even Follow
How will you be able to MOVE
when you cannot Be STILL?
At first the exercises were separate from their Day to day Living
after his stepmother's departure
however Gary began initiating Mirroring Sessions throughout the day
during dinner Evan's father seated 10 feet across from him at the dining room table
suddenly dropped his knife and fork
and rose quickly ,as if he had seen a mouse.
Evan watched his father
perplexed and was about to ask him what was wrong when Evan heard his father's all too familiar
boom ,"Get Up"
Evan quickly put down his fork and knife and rose from his chair.
the Moment Evan rose his father sat down again.
when Evan again sat
His father rose again from his chair.
Evan quickly stood
as his father suddenly sat down again.
Evan reseated himself just as his father dropped his utensils
and stood once more.
this time Evan stayed as he was.Looking down at his plate before beginning to slice his roast beef.
:get Up.Get Up," his father shouted.
Evan dropped his knife and fork and stood.
While Gary sat himself down again and began eating.
Evan did not sit down but stood.Assuming his father would stand up from his chair once again
"Sit Down ," his father shouted
and as soon as Evan did so ,picking up his knife and fork
his father stood once more.
Evan dropped his fork and knife on his plate and quickly stood once again.
His father gave him a look of disappointment and wiped the sides of his mouth with a napkin and left the room.
Evan remained standing
looking down at his cold food not knowing what to do. Whether to remain standing or sit.or to wipe his mouth with his napkin and leave the room