the left side of the tower

Often the human subject "comes" with enough pre -data as the subject might have been "born into " one of several programs that recognized the eventualities of bio tech .Many children born into the program(raised Monarch) come equipped for researchers with easy to follow roadmaps crafted by the child's neuro- linguistic steeping .It is easier to work upon a subject raised with initiated "clapboard" moments induced upon the subject during early childhood in an effort to i...mprint a unique neural signature upon the child for ease of access for decoding concerning Reverse Brain Engineering experiments. Computer recovery by biotech interface to main frame enables access to subject's Visual Cortex acquisition of visual data from Brain Computer Interface is actually the easier signal to decode and next recalibrate rather than the signals used for "inner monologue" which are not often linear and can be "thrown off' by such things as a fan or air conditioner not to mention a "Oh I have to pick up toothpaste or Tommy at little league " moment .If a subject becomes too resistant to his or her part in progressive study often one must use "corrective" high powered microwave or ultrasound signals to cause the subject some physical pain until the subject can 'pull themselves together' and be less dismissive or even treasonous about progress that could and should be of benefit ,novelty and excitement for both the subject and his or her Team

 

 

(1)they don't send you to any academy like they do in young adult books

to teach you how to THINK to another once they ILLEGALLY spiked you with Merge Bio tech OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh NOOO that might have made sense
no..they want you to just about your business'..go about your demographic learning first and foremost how to MASK that you are Graphing ..i.e telepathizing
meaning you don't go talking out loud in a park to some occipital over ride
like a loony tune..than the more difficult task of telepathizing with THOUGHT that leaves out all that might be going through your mind at that time in terms of sight and soundand everything except ..like a yes sir no sir " type thinking..

or -"I am at AM /PM mini mart buying a donut.(pause)

they see what you see.but that is a different program and they NEED context funny how mUCH these dudes NEED from a Human Test subject and funny how little of the test subject's needs are met being their bitch for science ..supposedly the sheer adventure of being involved in this unique form of testing dealing with developing synthetic telepathy "should Be fun"..yeah maybe for like 5 minutes it might have been when you were 7 years old..or maybe if your time wasn't researchers whose job it is to also see how much Neurotronic Imbue might drive a human organism to snap in such a way he or she will follow any command..without fighting the over ride ..and these dudes don't command you to say be a good painter or learn how to play no cello..nah what they want is you to be drink the kool aid I don't like Monday ...why don't YOU DRIVE and I'll hold the hot drinks..and take the spill..ooooh yeah...I wasn't raised for no other reason dear reader..I fit the profile supposedly of being easily lead..and have a unmet desire to be part of some group ..cause I didn't make varsity in High School or some such shit..But I am not as drivable as pre supposed...and I must say much of my early purpose Trauma Based abuse and all the CUES and Imprint s made during such mind fuck kinda' dissipated when I got the jist of "the I saw Tomato you go Kablingo" of it all...and in truth dear reader ...that's when my team began using the "apps" as torture..at the start I must say some of this shit was trippy and awesome and my team wer somewhat playful NNNNNNot now...OOOOOH no way not now.

stillI ind like doing the "run downs" when they use me as just this biological organism and don't care that I have some personality that keeps me from being too much some human drone.
you get off on it sometimes like you're in some TV show

and I am good at not moving my lips when I ttthink to my team my coordinants
'I am in a AM/PM mini mart with the donut now in a the little wax paper thing.

but sometimes they ask you to focus on some "character' who might be a person of interest.

for these tests.

so you have to learn how not to go looking at some one in a way that might get a "Hey why you looking at me dick"

and at the same time THINK of specifics whomever is decoding your temporal lobe acquisitions concerning signal data base on sight

specifics like the "make "of sneaker the person of interest is wearing and give a guess-timent

of how old they are..and than you must focus your attenuations to how the guy sounds

with out thinking your own thoughts because that 's an awaful lot of data for a Team to have to separate.



I am well aware most of these"Dumbo go out and start doing some

tracking exercise"

are only exercises

and as much as they call me an ingrate little lazy loser I do in face get up at any hour to do

tracking ..

and have many times had to go to some pretty seamy places .

to do these exercises

often getting lots of nasty ..what you looking at..? huh

and even a few fights over it.



the feedback I am somehow obligated to give

although I never asked to do this..

in my and XXXX's house alone...

"Off duty" as they say

is what I hate much more than at least having the sense I am doing something

albeit test wise

that is interesting

ME ALONE watching TV ..

is usually good for my Team to collect data of how Brain Computer Interface works with TV..than they graph "enuf TV Dumbo"

we're now going to

work on Clear Thinking.



and I sya or think FUCK YOU monster

we are not doing anything but sitting here watching TV



"NO dumbo we are now going to shut the TV..and DO our language studies

"

I turn the Tv up..and ignore My Team after all in a sense they do not exist..

to you reader what I write about is make believe or psychosis

..and

it may as well be

I think ..I ain't taking orders from Monsters who put carbon nano tubes in my body

nooo way

would you?

no

I am no man's slave



but than the pain comes..

or worse sometimes this feeling of sadness from nowhere or anxiety or pure fear.



and this is before you hear a voice saying

"Scunbo hop to it so we "make believe " monsters don't send someone to your house to cut your dick off..

.

inevitably you do what they say















(2)





Evan graphs that my team is concerned....that I used to not take this so seriously..

Evan reminds me what happens to Guinea Pigs who refuse to get onto their wheel



Evan graphs me Visual of a dead Guinea Pig

and this is supposed to make me want to get out of bed.



'rise and shine and give us your roly poly .rise and shine and give us your roly poly
Evan sings while inducing the images on my visual cortex a cartoon of Guinea Pigs that look like cartons smiling wearing track suits..



I don't like these images ..they same

to served to me in real time..

not random

and without my telepathizes this with a purposed graph Evan halts the trumpet

:of the rise and shine song he often jokes me outta myself with

and
Evan graphs some images he knows usually lighten me up. that seem less CUE-ish.
I watch the imagery seemed based only on art and beauty with out the symbology
to instigate response .
but I refuse to be smitten.
it is all on their timetable..
on their wants form need only in terms of study
how it must pain them to have to actually telepathize something that has nothing to do with Me learning or NOT learning how to THINK in metered "graphs" that contain nothing whatsoever of memory or even where I might be ...or how I feel ..or anything but
a solid thought based only on whatever specific meaning they ask for
WITHOUT any signal they have told me must be denoised concerning selfish thoughts of hunger ,thirst. or an itch I want to scratch

(DO YOU KNOW DUMBO! HOW SICK THAT MIGHT FEEL TO SOMEONE READING YOUR MIND TRYING TO CONVERSATE WITH YOU TO SUDDENLY
HEAR
YOU NEED TO SCRATCH YOUR LEG/
IT SICCCCCCKKKKENING DUMBO

and I believe we spent hours and hours teaching you HOW to bypass such extraneous from your
messaging

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII am not massaging YOU ...I am think to myself ..YOU lunatic

I never asked to be part of these tests you freeeeeeeak! I graph
and next feel a horrible zip of pain go down my spine

"Ooooh don't be crying Dumbo..Do you know what a Mentor thinks when He sees you falling apart like this?" Evan graphs

"Not pity,I know that"I graph

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFfar from pity Dumbo contempt...why because ewe have spent years working with your attitude..and trying to HELP YOU learn how to "speak" a new language..with only thought NO word..I shouldn't be having to USE WORDS by now should I..?

"No ,' I graph back thinking "and I wasn't crying"

I can tell the difference between telepathizing THOUGHT and telepathizing WORDS..
I wait for a "good boi" or a smiley face shown to my in my visual cortex.
and receive both
.

(2) Evan cannot be ignored
nothing can be that has deciphered and next emulated your signal
your frequencies..


the tone of Evan also is the Feeling of Evan
in High Tone..thank Wireless


and thank the mighty transmitters
that are slowly making us all in tune
on the same pulse and wave
my endless bath and cleansing signal of re-attentuation that pass right through my skull the microwaves and scalar waves that can pass through walls and concrete and clay .

I feel my mood swing away from "seriousity"
to the numb dumbness that Evan thinks suits me
I taste the metallic electric in my palate and tongue of being one and won by the electric wonder of Gone
even when the imbue of direct energy is less
gladly I sense the stupor and psycho correction has taken to make me less resistant to the intrusion of Synthetic Entity and Telepathy
it is harder now to move ...without jerky movements and an occasional seizure my Team wishes me not to report to a physician
for the seizures pass.
and I am making real progress giving up ego
to the invisible New WAY


I and only I hear

Evan impart," OOOOOOOOOOh c'mon little Dumbo...Tell me there is not something wondrous about being part of something
larger than yourself
Manknid needs to move away from One ness in terms of Self
and a Oneness of terms of preservation of it's species

so stop fighting us Dumbo

and stop regressing
there is nothing wrong with what we are working upon
Dummy ..it is you not trying to let go of Self Referential Selfish thought that does nothing but humiliate you and whomever reads you Dummy"

"THAN JUST USE THE FUCKIN DIRECT ENERGY TO fry the brain cells you don't want ASSHOLE!"I graph ...

but I was doing so well before..
think outward..
no letting my mind focus on anything but Evan
the last thought I had..
but I was doing so well before..
think outward..
no letting my mind focus on anything but Evan ...makes my Team furious ..
it is exactly the type of thinking they graph is superfluous
and used only to lick my wounds..
and placate myself
LIKE A CHILD DOES after being SPANKING or CORRECTED by those who KNOW MORE THAN A CHILD

a man however does not need to do this and certainly cannot afford to when his every thought is read in real time ...to his Mentors

I have had enough ..
I want to bounce my head
THEIR head into the wall
but instead I go down to the basement and lean my head up again the smart meter the Meter Men put in the house 3 days ago..
I lean my head up close enough I feel in my mouth the same metallic taste I get when my time adjusts my Hzs.

'You're doing this to yourself," Evan graphs appearing as a cricket with a tophat a yard from my eyes.

I keep my head there feeling a head ache and pins and needles all through my cheek

"STOP NOW" Evan graphs...and next "please"

I go away from the meter and go upstairs toward the bedroom but instead have to throw up in the bathroom my mouth is tingling..even the vomit does not get rid of the taste of electric and metallic.

I lay down afrer.
and feel glad that it was ME this time not mY TEAM hitting me with the Electromagnetic Re -Education



But my team won't let me get away with child like self and thus self referential inner monologue that has nothing gto do with reaching newer levels of Knowing
and letting myself be known with out With Hold.

"Nice Job DUMMY..another Mental Breakdown for our good buddy who just might have accomplished with that little trick the frying of brain cells he so wishes..let's hope not ..let's hope you have not made yourself too expendable
I feel my mood slip..away from the High Tone Evan Imbued upon me after saying please in the basement back to my filthy selfish thought process my Team has spend years now
teaching me
teaching me own neural pathways to renegotiate themselves to a roadway that fits in with Group Mind /Hive Mind thought

I have never really had much of an idea what this is for.

why they are doing this..

they keep coming up with new explanations..

they don't like that I have turned on them

in a way neither they or I saw coming..
I will pay for what I did to myself and my head with the smart meter



I reach for my pills..and feel a zap go through me.. like a mini seizure.

'What we say bout" benzoes? Bout' you using Benzoes like some little girl man to run away from your post?"

"My post ? My post is it now..is it.." Still this little glean of my having a purpose .A Post...makes me put down the pills

"GOOOOOOD BOI" Evan graphs.."GOOOOOOD BOI"

XXXX knocks on the door. He's holding a tiny plastacine bag.

He taps a line out on a tiny coaster with the Eiffel Tower on my 3rd stepmom gave him and me years ago when she introduced us

One side of the tower is my side to do lines off

and the other is his.

No matter what happens between me and XXXX and between me and my Mandlers we always stay on our side of the tower.

I feel like asking him if we can switch sides but I know it would make him sad or something.

Like I didn't want to come to Sunday dinner..or if I bought a fake tree for Xmas..

"what ?" I say to thin air, knowing I don't THINK this way..'a fake tree for Xmas?"

XXXX gives me a squinty look ,as he knows I am never supposed to react to the sound and images

by now

like a "loony toon"

He covers the coaster with his hand like he's saying gesture like "We can't do this" If you break the rules.

"What happens in Dumbo stays in Dumbo" XXXX says removing his hand .

"I want to be on the right side of the tower for once " I say.



And when I say this suddenly XXXX picks up the coaster and blows the meth off the coaster like it's dust and begins to lift up the coaster in his hand like he's going to break the coaster on the wood floor.

It hits me that in a way even worse than him blowing our lines into the wind

is him getting ready to destroy the ritual

the symbol of what holds our relationship together..



"DON'T!" I yell



"who the fuck are YOU! to be telling ANYONE don't ...when all you say is DON'T to your Mandlers and to the Entire Program?"XXXX says .



"I don't understand any of this.." I say tapping the side of my head..



'YOU aren't supposed to!" XXXX yells,"What side of the tower on you on and will always be on Damien DexTer Darko?"



"the left side"I say



"well than ," XXXX says putting the coaster down and pouring out the lines again like nothing just happened.



I snort my line and XXXX puts his arm around me and sits on the bed.



"I'm afraid for you Dex,,,genuinely afraid..because you used to kinda' know what you were doing and now..I don't know.." XXXX says,"what happens if your Mandlers go away?"



"Than I go away" I say because that's what I have been told.



"and if that happens ..they'll just be another Dumbo we have to break in..Dumbos raised just like you with all the same Cues.."



"I know they told me .." I say



"But you 're not supposed to tell me that are you?" XXXX says," and if your Mandlers got so fed up with your reticence to have to explain that to you...It's not a good sign is it?"



"than let them kill me than ..I truly do not care.."I say



'They won't " they'll drive you fuckin' irreversibly mad like these Benzoes do..why you think they gave you these benzos ? they knew they'd screw you up.."



XXXX gets up to leave ,usually we fuck around.I want to fuck around not be left alone .

Because I am never alone

and it feels like



pretty soon I'll wake hear nothing and see nothing..

and the fear...of what happens when they go away and what they threatened to do..

in dreams

and face to face

would drive any madder than the actually interface .



The only thing I can think of doing is to jump on XXXX back and knock him down punch him in the mouth and force myself inside him.



and the fear immediately subsides..

and the sound and visions Evan sends me are kind.



Once more I am back on track..

and true to the Program's programs.



'You do that yourself ?" XXXX says when I'm done" or were you Impelled by the spirit in the sky ?



"Not sure" I say.And for the first time it doesn't matter to me why I think what I think or do what I do.



"Goood Boi!" Evan graphs."Good Boi"