hello watchman

the russain are on the up and up of how they want heir citizens to behave.
america is not

you think I wanted to spend my early .now mid 40's sitting at some computer writing about things that come off as lunacy..or bad science fiction...that has so mant starting points ..but no middle ..no end?

much in the way television if you really think about it has no beginning no middle no end.
what has kept me
from doing what I had wanted to do with my time and myself..?

a very sneak ..very profane technology that makes one's mind television
interactive television
input goes from the temporal lobe is transcribed and some later time or in real time is fed back upon one's temporal lobe
as well as the sections of one's mind that assert emotion

last night I was reading other targeted individuals stories about their "being made' to cry in public..
I do not write of some of these subjects..
that made me do as much
I did not understand than what was going on...I was in and out of modes of being ...like tv..
some how I was always kept adaptive..

I did not realize this would be going on so long.
I truly once believed I was "doing tested " being tested upon for security reasons
this actually is what I regret the most
this might be human experimentation but these are not tests.
they have been developing this for decades .
my first spin with it was 1993/1994
in 2011 I was for lack of a better word.."up graded" to more despicable
applications.

there is no way of describing just how sickening this technology is.

I hope to discuss the hospitalizations and the subsequent use of neuroleptics in these hospitals which are torture in themselves.
I cannot speak to anyone..anymore..
not when one is detained in this "unique" manner.
I am beginning to despise most social gatherings..
I am a camera.
I am a recording devise.
I am a reactive mind to the give and take of conversation

I spend time in a room now most days listening to prattle.
or ideas.that do not concern me.
I no longer like waking up
there was novelty to this..
which in fact might be the only part of me that was 'ill'
"ill' enough to be "taken in'
yet we are all taken in by television

it is made for only that.
just as this Telematry was made to so consume another..one loses themselves completely..
I see metaphorically this happening all over ..with our need for phones.

yes.]
I stopped.
I am truly wriitn gthis to you now


you who reads this
                                                     you who
                                                      man me
                                                case me as a mandler might
                                               I am not referring to any friend on fb
                                                      but the man or woman.
                                                      whose job it is to read what I write
                                               from now on more and more of this will be written just for you

and you don't want to
hear about my observations
of society being smitten by technology like phones

d-duh dooooo ya.?