ones I have written in..
.different versions.
different characters.....different ways I have tried to format these endless entries.
many TIs have such notebooks.. ,files, .Photostats. disks- of documentations
others besides myself have tried different ways to present their personal accounts
in ways that might better be understood by others besides other TIs..(fiction ,semi fiction..poems,cartoons ..)
many give up..
many kill themselves ...
I wonder if their notebooks ,papers,blogs...are thrown away by relatives
who may or may not have perceived their documentation, their obsession to explain the explainable..as "part of their madness"
I imagine many... after their loved one's suicide- could not bare looking at the endless notebooks and type written papers.
and threw the journals away...
after else where else could they go with these documents...and journals? The TI had already written to every agency and department he or she could think of to no avail..
even if the loved one chose to hold onto the notebooks and documentation ...where and to whom would these papers be given to ?
in the hopes that in 10 or 20 years ...somehow -It would all come out..
as yet their is no 'memorial" no museum or archive for the atrocities being done
to Targeted Individuals
unlike more conventional weapons or means of torture..there is no conventional
evidence..to be brought to light
and THAT is in fact the SELLING POINT and the PERK of these neurotronic weapons
their invisibility...their undetectable source point and the sheer oddness of their
methodology
I look at the notebooks .and I look at the computer keyboard.
I know why I write "of it" as I do..I refuse to write about it "as a day to day operation"
I refuse to scream...
online....or write of it ...any longer as SOS or least of all some type of
LOOK WHAT WE DO
to GUYS like HIM..
I believe the in many ways our cries for justice and explanation are free publicity
to whatever agency is selling "it's product" that is Psychotronic endeavor and Psychotronic "Correction"
I will "be the degenerate un sane man" in the public stocks (and bonds)
of this oh so old oh so new weapon
only when I chose to...
I often lie to myself that I do not care how I "come across".on line but
I cannot let
the very last bit of me that is left be swayed by this
all the while
I and other TIs as we write are being dissipated by the very apparatus I and they write about..in ways I can not explain
or will not explain directly.
I "read" other accounts of "explaining the day to day" of living with the un-livable
the unthinkable
all the while suffering- all the more because what is happening to them is not mentioned
in the main stream media
on top of their genuine torture they are taken as "delusional" THEY are not
(2)
at first I was glad to write about as a mental disorder..first of all
it felt safer to do so
and also a reader (no offense) often a reader enjoys feeling superior -in a There But for the Grace of G-d.."
fashion to such a narrator they believe is mentally ill...furthermore for reasons I
cannot really fathom a reader "can understand" a psychotic hearing and seeing things - tv and film have done quite well presenting such things
a reader "can understand" If what I write about ALSO strangely enough If I write about Neurotronic Weapons
as something supernatural in origin
one can "get it" IF "one's senses are read and over ridden" their minds-"snatched"- by aliens or demons..
why can a reader understand this and not a small footnote pertaining to physics and signals and basic biology is curious
perhaps the subject is easier to grasp as paranormal -because Hollywood has introduced what "being possessed" means" in terms of a reader or film goer's perceptions and thus inner monologue
if I ask you ..what do you think of ..what do you see "Mind's Eye's" Style when I say ALIEN BEING
I assume you see something with very very large eyes ..a thin neck ..no nose...etc..
perhaps the alien is also green..
have you ever seen a an alien or been possessed? I doubt it
but you understand "it
have you ever been psychotic and seen and heard things ..,felt your inner guidance system transmitted and received from outside yourself
I don't think many of you have ..but Tv and Film have enabled you to
somehow "understand" the jist of this..
yet
if I explain that billions and billions and billions of dollars have been spent trying and succeeding in
SEEING what a human organism SEES and HEARS (feels ,tastes ,smell) Mind's Eye "style"..I lose the reader..
and best go back
to presenting myself as schizoid or psychotic so-
maybe "you can understand where I am coming from
as narrator"
IF I explain the United States has a history of doing unsolicited Human Testing..
(Mk Ultra ,The Monster Test (1939) ,Monarch programming ,spraying bacterial agents over San Francisco,the New York subway system..
I might get an IM or email saying "..."yes but president Clinton apologized for all that in 1994..remember..?")
I look at the notebooks I have not transcribed..
and the posts I am reticent to post.
and the sheer waste of time .of typing what ..consumes me..
but this has happen before..
and inevitably I go on
because I am NOT talking about psychosis nor aliens or possession
but weapons created to mimic all three.
how odd .how disturbing
that the term "Mind Meld"
and "Jonny Mnemonic" ..."Pacific Rim ""Inception"
is all we mutually have in terms of semantics
a few episodes of "Black Mirror"
and perhaps some sh*t in US NEWS AND REPORTS on
someone moving a cursor with only his mind to play Pong
Minority Report" "Brainstorm" "Strange days"
when the movie I ,as writer -SHOULD have only focused on was
the original version of "Attack of the 5o foot Woman"\
and the dead actress who starred in this movie
typing away
being" typed to"-- in this great 50 billion channels everything and thus nothing on
Dead Targeted individuals
have like me
trying every which way to convey ..(through non fiction,semi fiction,..comic strip..serial..verse..) and yes through public gunfire to "get the word out n" about what
it means to be a Targeted Individual
but to whom?to whom on line...to who in congress ..to who at the 3 letter agencies who know exactly what Human testing of Mind Augments Apparatus entails
I knew early on if I wrote about "it" as purely fiction...I would be minimizing the seriousness of what is being done to me and several hundred thousands of others...
yet I also knew if I wrote about "it" with the limited information I have received form those in academia and the sciences who have helped me ,so to "get to the bottom ' of things
many out sourced companies want nobody to get to 'the bottom " -or the "top " of
ONLY do these "off grid" corporations ,conglomerates etc want one to be 'in the middle of"these "tests
the information one can garner online -unclassified ,declassified is ancient...and often deliberately I assume, misleading
Human Testing is not something those outsourced to do so
make Youtube videos about..
anyone who really has key knowledge regarding Advanced Weapons testing and Programs
created to test Neurotronic Technology on a human organism
does not Tweet ,Blog or Pinterest their findings
nor do the foundations who have
purchased the services of men and woman profiled in advance to be able to
actively and whole hearted practice Psychotronic Torture techniques on unsolicited citizens
without empathy, compassion or remorse
(one man's sociopath is another man's social scientist)
I have spent years trying to write about my plight in a manner that mixed fiction and non fiction to "keep a reader " somewhat engaged if f only with plot and character...because the science behind this odd,repulsive type of human testing seemed(and is ) too "far out"to write of traditionally .I...
assumed if the reality (and agony) of the topic were introduced in small doses...
between footnotes on the science of Neural Engineering, Neural Interface and Psychotronic 'Corrections" I might be getting somewhere...I cared very little if I introduced myself...or the characters "in story" as schizophrenics. Militants
mystics..
psychics.
those possessed by "demons"
those in communion with aliens..
as long as I felt I was "finding a way" a person not Targeted might comprehend of Brain Entrainment.
But as the months ,years went by..
it occurred to me (how could it not) that I might as well be standing on the sidewalk wearing a sandwich board...
or writing about Targeted Individuals on a subway wall..
the internet.-the social media..(a blog a tweet etc) SEEM to "go somewhere"
but where..
one initially wishes that "somewhere' was
the very same agencies who never answered your letters ..
your claims
assuredly going in the "tin foil " hat bin
but not really
a bin perhaps...
as these agencies are the very same..perhaps the
only "groups" well aware of this technology's research and development
and how this "tech" was developed precisely to
replicate "all of the primary and secondary symptoms of organic madness
as for the social media
getting one anywhere.
.to a mainstream reporter...a scientist who refused to be paid off...etc..to eventually have this technology and "the necessity" of human testing to perfect "it" be open for public debate debate..
one eventually begins becoming frightening-ly aware
of how useless the social media is
for "activism"
especially for a subject "designated" to the realm of "lock ness monster/abominable snowman' by the mainstream media..
and the purpose.
of self publishing .is not the purpose of documentation of war crimes
a so called "vanity" project...
is not something one is after ...when one's very life(and hundreds of thousands of others) has been all but destroyed by these crimes
documentation Neuro Tronic Weapons Testing
in a book that sits on one's mantle
would be akin to "scrapbooking" the Tuskegee Tests done
as a private coffee table "curiosity"
i purposely swinging the topic back to "crazy"
or fiction
often
as it would have been impossible not to do so
I would have been terrified to write a single word..
if I had not have
in many ways I have blocked the initial
"tests: ....or still find them so overwhelmingly scary (and so difficult to explain)
to dare return to them
let alone write of them
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