Saturday, July 4, 2015

super soldier /torn on the 4th of july(notebook 57 Cole.L.Cohen)

(1) celebrate a government who is doing human testing on me...not quite by a long quite
 could I do that ...
.The invites I got to  "party" watch fireworks and have some drinks and food  are only " to be nice." invites. one expected me to go to their parties ..or trust me  I wouldn't have been asked..not after what I did to Hector..
you in all likeliness are some facebook friend..some computer friend
some "thing" some transmission really
no offense.
it's best you stay a little pic on the computer  a visual and textual sometime aural "entity' ....and I stay some little transmission to you as well..
I am not good company...not even to do drugs with anymore.I prefer to push off myself..
even whatever good I was in terms  of sex..
now that I have "apps" ONLY FOR MONEY..
why should my TEAM get some action of the kind ..for nothing?
I don't bash someone's head in for no money why should I give head for no money?
I was made only to fight,hurt  and kill people .when I was young it was all about sex...and partying with clients..or guys my team want ed or need to get close enough to cut or strangle or warn
this was before iwas "app-ed" and there was only voice to skull shit and bare hands around my next to keep me in my place..
also every jail and institution you can think
make me "do what I was told"
now I don't do what I am told..they fucked up
they began doing the voice of G-d stuff..the "apps' to just too many damn people and people are just typing about it like mad men on line...
somebody is taking notice's not entirely a nation of scumbags...after all
that's why I was" app-ed"..and that's why I was raised to not have
normal emotions..
raised by placed foster parents whose"Job" yes job was to beat me,shame me,and torment physically and psychologically
 part of this odd training Project Bluebird..Mk Ultra shit
 done in the late 60's early 70's 
brought in a dude to rape me .it was part of the manual
..and fiddled with me so hard that by the time I was 6
 I would and could dissociate like a Pavlov  dog..
that's how to make a suppppppa soldier
this was before the 'apps"
"apps" they dose you with to see how well
you being fucked when you was five worked
how it arranged your neural pathways into fighting form
the 'apps"
 every sense you have to be  sent back to a team for decoding
you realize early on your adulthood you don't have much YOU in ya'
woulda' gotten in the way
of the imprints
..the imprints set specific trigger in you and specific gradient  in you all the better to allow some pocket scientist to chart you like a redwood's rings timeline wise
reverse brain engineering wise
.all the world around a proxy is just  stimuli
something to react and respond  to fro science and research
my team  gleans my memories and thoughts about friends and family
dead or alive
I  have turned to hate as an emotion  because this emotion is  the closest i get to a buffer i do not feel i am intruding on family or friends personal affairs
or what fleeting or lasting personal thoughts I have about either-
 I am like a drone..
I am like a little box wheeled into a room with cameras  and a microphone in it shaped like a human 
sending not only what i see and hear.and taste and touch ..but what i think about all i see  ...back to my team
it is best to always be in hate mode.rather than Let THEM in
because THEY get YOU through me in THEM too.
for this reason if and when I go out my mind almost automatically goes into hate mode ..why ?maybe because it is primal
easiest to maintain
I have nothing to say to anybody. Certainly.. nothing nice
I stare at things people don't see and hear things nobody hears
and to tell you the truth most  people unless you are fucking them
 get in the way of interfaced  hearing and seeing ...things   a lot more interesting than anything most people not bypassing your sensed  have  to say...maybe this was a side effect none of my team expected
 if your mind has been made into a tv set.  you'd feel the same
 so don't get no picture of yourself as superior ..know why cuz' I'll knock that superior look off your face in one well timed blow..
 that's what Neuroweapons testing tis all about ...
this tech they shoved into us is to make us mighty ...
make us cold and go into rages at a  flip of a scalar wave
PCP in Pulses Hz straight to brain
I might be puny but you would be thinkin' this so much  if I were activated to 22 Hzs  
full mental packet pretty boy and  leaping on you like a housecat with  chewing off your nose..
and thinkin nothing whatsoever about it..
I can't be trusted " much at parties..or even on short jaunts to meet for coffee...
I will saying untoward..or worse talk about the stuff  I write about on this blog ..
'Oh please..PLEEEEASE,' they will say" can't we talk about something else?"
"fuck you,' I would say back
there is nothing else however on my mind...and I do mean this
inevitably ..I will begin talking at "it" Human testing ...and Neurotronic weapons
and inevitable..a friend soon to be ex friend will say
'Oh really ! all you do now is talk about yourself.."
'My self ? you fuckin' Kunt "I might yell...THIS is not myself..I have not been myself since they began doing this to me.."
often the friend will try to settle me down
..if I do not smash a cup or pound the table too hard with my fist.
.OR pound my own skull to trying  to get my point across.
"YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME,' I might yell,trying to do anything but punch them
Anyone not "app-ed" is no friend of my mine much anyway.
"YOU who can't even tell I am in no way nor have been myself since being "altered"You who sits across from the table with me stupefied
by now  the owner of the restaurant might ask me to leave..\or worse the idiot I used to be friends with would try to 'reason with me saying-
'It must be very 
 NICE  to be able to blame all your anger and troubles
 and   on THEM...Most of us got rid of our imaginary friends when we were  ..oh I don't know 6 years old.."
I might raise my fist ..(and have in fact done more than raise it) and say
"you want to meet my imaginary friend ?"
I give up...would usually be the "last word,last text,last call'(Thhhhhhank G-d!)
 throwing down their napkin like we're in a noticing how important it is for them to exit all like a play  ..and gather their belongings .in a manner one does on TV
my Mandlers as well notice this ODD comportment
of a "good exit" more  for the crowd who has by now inevitably focused upon our table..than my benefit
usually during these partings of ways with sir cwazy here..
money is tossed on the table..
sometimes not
other friends
ignore all my rage ...treating me as would some 3 year old having a tantrum. Best ignored
yaaaaa see dear reader I riiiight this for attention...douchebags one and all.
 have had enough
 of my only talking about neuro weapons..and me talking about my fucked up childhood being about CUES and neurolinguistics they say is too gruesome and unwholesome
ya''' think ya' kunt?
"what are you seeing what are they saying?"some kight ask seeing me locked in mode.
but I see on their face some look that finds it amusing
"none of your damn business..'I might snap ,sorta' angry they are inteferring with me being taught something by my Mandlers.
cuz trrrrust me most of the time .whatever a Mandler is imparting or graphing's a fuck of a lot more interesting than anything YOU have to say..I can assure you of that.."
well....that kind of talk this so called "going off".. is automatic...
meaning it just comes out of my mouth..without me having time to buffer it
has lost me this second group of friends..
the third  type of friend believe "it is like their civic duty' to stay friends with me
in spite of 'my situation' and for this I hate them probably most of all..and this is not necessarily a bad thing
it is my way of protecting whatever good memories or thoughts I have of them-Cole Cohen 7/6/14
(2) Aaron Alexis, the man who carried out the massacre in the Washington Navy Yard last week, had a "delusional belief" that he was being controlled by electromagnetic waves and fully expected be killed when he launched his attack, federal investigators said today.
Alexis etched the phrase "end to the torment" on the shotgun's barrel, officials said.
Authorities also found a note from Alexis in which he complained that he had been under "ultra low frequency attack" for three months.

"To be perfectly honest, that is what has driven me to this," he wrote in his farewell message, federal investigators disclosed Wednesday.
That note is one of "multiple indicators" found on Alexis' electronic devices seized after the attack showing that he "held a delusional belief that he was being controlled or influenced" by electromagnetic waves, the head of the FBI's Washington Field Office told reporters at a press conference.
He was "prepared to die during the attack," and he "accepted death as the inevitable consequence of his actions," Valerie Parlave said.
The shotgun he brought with him into the Navy Yard's Building 197 had been altered, with a sawed-off barrel and stock. Only days before the attack, he bought a shotgun at a Virginia gun store and a hacksaw at a local Home Depot.
Parlave confirmed previously reported details, including that the phrases "better off this way" and "my ELF weapon" were etched into the shotgun. Authorities believed "ELF" refers to "extremely low frequency," a form of Naval communications that many  believe is used by the U.S. government to monitor and alter Targeted Individuals selected to test Mind Augment strategies that Naval officials are well aware of.

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