Devil Inside

"It's a little like the old days being tethered to this system..this morning
when all this information would pop into my mind.
you know like one of those thought bubbles
like in comic strips
but the thought bubble
isn't mine.
it's my Tele-Operators..." I say to my shrink

""Evan Rainy" My shrink says and I get angry but try not to let it show for my moods seem to effect my shrinks stance .
Thought her is sitting .
His sitting stance
.Like the way he folds his hands ...and stuff.

'NO,not Evan Rainy .Evan Rainy doesn't work on Sundays or Mondays  I told you that like sevetenn millions times.."

My shrink looks at this little notebook  and says "Tru Christie"

"Yes ," I continue ,forgetting what I told him.
I try not to keep what Tru Christie calls my Tommy Walker 10 yard stare off my face
and wait for Tru Christie to feed me my last thought

but no.
that's not how Mandler's work.
if I think to them to graph me things like that I get some verbalized condemnation
or none verbal Imbue of "I'm  not your damn stenographer. I'm your Remote Neural Monitor"

"Thought bubble .Not your Own ."The Dr. says

"Yeah .Like a thought bubble in a cartoon...coming right over me with words and ideas  and emotions and even the Tele-operator's personality...coming down on me...coming down on my head..and feeding me ideas...Making me actually like BE this thought bubble"

"Like you're possessed by it..Like you are Possessed by some spirit" The Doctor says.

"The Fake Spirit," I remind him .

"The Artificial Intelligence "he says ,' For this Human Testing YOU believe THEY are doing to you' the Dr says.

And 'here we go with his I KNOW YOU BELIEVE sh*t is all I am thinking ...but like my Mandlers have taught me I cannot "act out" on the little bolts of rage that pass through me UNLESS my Mandlers OK and enhance the rage and steer me to whatever RUINER deserves the unleashing of my Psychotronically enhanced adrenalin and this body slam they deserve for talking sh*t about Gary Rainy ,the war ,Neuronautics etc..Stuff this "head shrink dink" according to my Mandlers is never to be told.As my visits to him are mainly to cover my bases and theirs concerning ...

"Remember where you are ,' a soft Disney-esque voice says in tandem with a caricature of a Sigmund Freud  like gnome like little creature which appears briefly atop the shrink's shoulder.

Noticing my noticing the Visual Overlap the Doctor brushes his the shoulder of his suit as if I noticed dandruff or something and I receive a tiny jolt of pain on my right arm to remind me not to LOOK as if I AM LOOKING at anything .
I feel my eyes go Tommy Walker and feel another pinch of pain .
Realizing this bit of puppetry is what my Mandlers need for the shrink
to observe every so often so he can jot down Schizo Affect
on some computer
so everyone including YOU dear Reader believes NOT A WORD I TYPE.
Otherwise it will be me who is RUINER in the eye's of cogs
that work for Proxy Cyber
and ME your intentionally Unreliable Narrator who is bonked Concrete and Clay
to the ground .

The doc focuses me back to the Tele -Presence
Imbue ...
the THEME of the day
Induced in me this morning prior to the 'don't shave ,don't comb your hair " directive
Tru Chrisite insisted as part of  see  visit the shrink days
the theme
the meme
was disturbing ...and mocking
and even to keep the ruse going for Proxy Cyber and a paltry monthly sum of Dole Coal
I feel a wee bit humiliated explaining
my Mandler's
Interface to the microfluidics that riddle my cortex
.
how do I explain that the sense of a
silent screen gesture- A BORED WOMAN with a BOARISH HUSBAND
stares TIGHT SHOT at HER fingernails while her BOARISH HUSBAND blubbers on
at UNDERLINGS at INT-COCKTAIL PARTY-EVE
somehow captured by my captures laid upon like some Method Acting
by remote?
How do I explain to a RUINER (and all shrink dinks are RUINERS to Neuronautics)

Although I know I am being monitored ,my every thought transmitted and considered by
Mandlers
sometime I must say I use my shrink dink appointments to
ROAR against the injustice of being made a Mann-ed for Man for science
and The New Way Foundation
"Look Doc ,I m not crazy I just don't see the Apparition of
A BORED WOMAN with a BOARISH HUSBAND
stares TIGHT SHOT at HER fingernails while her BOARISH HUSBAND blubbers on
at UNDERLINGS at INT-COCKTAIL PARTY-EVE
I feel it
up here
in my noggin,all through me..

The Angelic Woman who usually appears in robes
who this morning appeared in cocktail dress
and late 1930's over set hair
projected upon me no Feeling of Joy
but loathing

for I had made the mistake
according to Thought Bubble incepted Broodings
of having the audacity to write about Wireless being a Pollution and Not a Primal Solution
to altering the minds of Mankind to a Wondrous One-ness of Heart and Soul
based on some of the Panasonic Activity I have experienced since my youth.


the shrink inevitably saying "Well,I know YOU think someone is tinkering with your mind via those electrodes or whatever YOU believe Dr Elizabeth (known for being involved with the testing of microelectrodes on children ,financed by the *** in the late 60's) at that Boy's Home /Orphanage but let's try to see this 6th Sense situation in a more didactic fashion. After all besides Pill Seeking Behavior and Malingering to avoid the day to days of living a normal life of genuine work and the genuine give and take of work and maintaining fulfilling lasting relationships in and out of the workplace and the pleasures a paycheck and job well done .Since you see a shrink and not a Voodoo Doctor or Exorcist you will have to forgive me if I do not help you feed into your delusions ....and LOOK and perhaps help you look at your situation as might a psychiatrist or just an outside party  ....so let's THINK and use our Mind here...Mind Control contraptions aside and consider WHY a feeling of
   A BORED WOMAN with a BOARISH HUSBAND
stares TIGHT SHOT at HER fingernails while her BOARISH HUSBAND blubbers on
at UNDERLINGS at INT-COCKTAIL PARTY-EVE
might be the first thing you felt upon waking up this morning
what underlying issues might be at play here..

'What underlying issues? " I say ,"The underlying issue Doctor is that familiarity breeds contempt and there is no familiarity more familiar than a Brain Computer Interface is there ?
My Mandlers are getting more and more fed up with my not being able to make way for a Mind to Mind Interface that amuses them or makes use of our communion ...The writing is a problem ..I think..because lately I have begun thinking why am I writing this? For Whom? For Them?

"The Them of course being  Mandlers nobody but YOU can seor feel" the Dr says.
"You mentioned before you believed your Mandlers were giving enough rope to hang yourself with with some of the Imbues...some of the things according to you your are impelled to write about AND that the things you choose to write about are indicators like some Test  of what a NON  RUINER chooses to attenuate toward"

"Now I am almost sure of it..."

'You believed the Mandlers were using you to be an example of people they will torture with Neuro weapons .Do you really believe that you are that important that even if what you say was true ANYONE would particularly care very much IF you wrote openly about being Mandled?"

"No..I believe they wanted me to think so with a another over lay of some kind of self important...Some type of Synthetic Sense self importance so I would write and write and write..so one day I would wake up and say why the fuck am I typing this ?where have all those years gone ?Why wasn't I painting or traveling ? Or hooking with strangers in alleys? "

"So these imbues ,as you call them that mimic in your mind induced Emotional States from some satellite or Cell Tower or some such thing ...were sent to you by some Team of Telepathy Masters to purposely waste years of your life and make you look like an idiot  or crazy person online "

"Did I say I say I looked like an idiot or crazy person online?"I say

and the DOCTOR as if with a tedious MENTAL PATIENT he tolerates for insurance purposes
stares TIGHT SHOT at his fingernails yawning

"Did you do that on purpose ?" I say, "Because I recall being struck by a gesture that you made and checking in the program to see who were "

"Excuse me" the Dr said.

"What ?"I answered."Oh they do that sometimes..little bits of dialog here and there to help with my imparting upon you  irrational  and disorganized thought patterns"

The shrink switches off the tape recorder he uses to record our sessions and says ,"And you wonder why the f*ckin ' Mandlers are turning on you Dumbo?'