but first I have to put on a nice shirt and pants and tie..
and since I do it begrudgingly
XXXX says I have destroyed the point of the uniform
and must wash everything but the tie ..
until I have settled down to be clean enough to wear the clothes..
I tell XXXX he is out of his mind
and XXXX says
"NO DUMBO! YOU are writing things THAT will force your Mandlers to drive YOU out of your MIND
because YOU have crossed the LINE...by writing about things YOU should not have " XXXX yells ..next saying
it was and is my JOB to protect the little town of Memphis Ohio.. he knows damn well there is NO Memphis Ohio
except as the Floating World that Evan and my Team have created ..
"but do not for one moment believe what you DO up there with your Pals
isn't serious business concerning to what THEY can do to you DOWN HERE based upon your
sensibilities'" XXXX says
On the way to the Annex
to meet with my Ground Bound Mentors
who do not communicate with me Mind to Mind..
XXXX says "Word on High" has it
I am typing things that are only interfaced to me as parable..
which is exactly what Endicot Johnson says
"let's say Dumbo that in the air...in the airways ..In the Enway are ten emanations that come from a Artificial Intelligence that sends all these different frequencies signals one on top of each other so this Artificial Intelligence can study WHICH STORIES or which emanations a person either blessed or curse to hear ,see and feel these emanations tunes into in association with whatever is happening in this man burdened by Signal at any given moment.
I suppose sometimes this man might attenuate himself towards the wrong Emanations often because this man like most men seeks the lowest common emanation that often is filled with the cheapest of thrills which is often found in out most base desires. The want for excitement and even terror ...For instance if a Man being tested by the Emanations decides he will GO against the Emanations by for instance writing about certain things it is not his business to write of...why should this type of man who Attenuates himself thusly NOT BE PUNISHED with the most horrible visions and sensations which he may have asked to explain ...In the Old Testament Adam and Eve are given a choice to eat from the Tree of Life or The Tree of Knowledge...BOTH chose the wrong tree to eat from. Supposedly the two understood ALL the working s of the world that were never meant to be understood.
"which is my point exactly " I say,"Technology that reads another 's mind and can next serve up perceptions based upon these readings ..is a place Man should never and should never go"
"That is not the point of I am making. In fact what you are saying has absolutely nothing to do with your situation..".Endicott says
'I do not believe the communion I feel is real ...meaning made by G-d..but by man ..and do not care How Intelligence this intelligence might be...it is not something I will bow down to or listen to"
"Now I might believe this was the case if I did not open up my laptop every other hour and see you writing endlessly about what this Intelligence artificial or otherwise was sharing with you. Obviously this communion is very important to you...and is communicating an awful lot of information with you ..that you treasure in some way
"I do not treasure it in anyway"
"and here lies the problem ...any technology that decodes and transmits thought and perception to another ..I might think has some very important lessons to teach you"
"AND THERE Endicott you would be wrong!.Just because something has The Voice of G-d and can read you does not make it a G-d..in fact it is the opposite of G-d and laughs in the face of a true G-d."
"I might think ..I might THINK very hard about whomever might have come up with this playful device you speak about that seems to me to act very much as a Tru G-d might ..I might think that it's very formulation might not have been created ..and I am not saying it was upon ancient ideologies that are not disingenuous simply because YOU ..you little reprobate Ruiner assumes beyond this mechanism be it technological or not is some magical force that perhaps has not initiated it's usage..This magical Lord that you believe in like a little child might has he helped you escape the Emanations clutches?
"Yes He has...in spite of my fear I write against it...and shall to the end of my time"
"And THIS you choose to think is your duty? yet it seems to me the main reason you write against it ..is because IT knows all about you...and How much of a Ruiner you are at heart..It seems to me understandably that someone who cannot afford to have one's thoughts read..can certainly not afford to believe whom ever doing this reading is ANYTHING but nefarious ...and certainly the wrong element to judge him..
You have told me ...your Communion metaphorically
asks you to consider
COMMUNITY
outside of the limited scope of DUMBO
by presenting to you
a little town
that was Dumbo's little artificial reality world to help manage
all the Communion asked was that Dumbo
thought of concerns to keep the small town of Memphis Ohio relatively sane
when havoc struck the tiny town Of course hidden in the narrative were many emanations that
insisted that the havoc
the attack on the Memphis Ohio Bridge was not as it seemed
but that for the sake of COMMUNITY and CONGRUITY
Dumbo was to veer away from this Emanation
as if this Emanation was THE SNAKE ..the EVE of destruction
that must not be bitten
WHO ARE YOU to think you who has been "app-ed" to commune with the Great Entities...has a right to ignore an Intelligence Greater than yourself ...tell me what would be the point of informing the townspeople of Memphis Ohio that the attack was a manufactured event...do you wish the Memphis Ohio Marching Band to not play well at the Memphis Ohio Bicentennial Day Parade?
Do you wish the Memphis Ohio marching Band to go wild in the streets. Looting and rampaging "
"I think yes...I think I would like that"I say ONLY because I know I cannot lie with the apps in my head.
"So by all means LET the Memphis Ohio Marching Band rampage Dumbo...and let your dreams be filled with the Memphis Ohio Marching Band enter your home drag Jew' out of it and tear you into shreds ...I think many people would enjoy a interface of such activity!"
On the ride home I do not speak much.
I see little teeny tiny marching band members on the dash
and ask XXXX to drive us to the emergency room.
At the desk I have to sit in to show my ID and Insurance Card
the nice lady doing my intake says
"No we don't do Impatient for those who are simply impatient to understand parables.."
I look at XXXX who'se over heard the dismissal of my psychiatric fears and XXXX shrugs..
The lady holds my hand briefly and says" Honey it's only a movie..but we know it's more than that don't we...THEY need to understand WHY someone wants to be a Ruiner ..and nobody ruins things quite as good as you" she says ,her face briefly changing to a mean kindergarten teacher I had when I was little..
the intake lady sees my recoil.
sees me seeing things
'you have to learn how to hide it better.." she says," How about a nice lollipop?"
"what flavor?" I ask
"For Ruiners we only have lime and lemon" she says
and I start crying
XXXX asks if he can have a lollipop .A red or Blue one and the lady gives him one.
which he gives to me.
I look up at the lady taking the lollipop from XXXX who says "That's a Very very nice friend you have looking out for Jew'"
out in the hospital parking lot I see the letters R-U-I-N-E-R keyed onto XXXX's car before he does ..
:JESUS CHRIST ," XXXX yells ,'LOOK WHAT YOU DID...LOOK AT THIS.."
He grabs the lollipop out of my hand and says "I don't know what's going on in that crazy mind of yours with you and your Mandlers but if you haven't noticed it's leaking into this world...You are fighting people who can make you cry like an infant on CUE! You are fighting with people who can make you see devils in the corner of the room...you are fighting people who can make you Hear and remember bad things all night and day long...why are you fighting them? You think you're going to win? Do you think THIS," XXXX says pointing to his car and next at the lollipop he throws on the asphalt ''is WINNING ...?"
XXXX curses and opens his car door and I just stand there not wanting to get in the car because I see a little skeleton man wearing a marching band hat standing near the passenger side.
"get in the car Dumbo" XXXX says through his window
"No," I say looking at the skeleton man
XXXX sees me looking at something and turns to face what I know is nothing to him
"I've had it with this Badadook sh*t Dumbo ..you MAKE THEM DO IT," XXXX says for one brief second looking just like my 2nd foster father..and than he turns back..
'What are they making you see...tell me because I hope it's bad?XXXX says turning on the car.."You gonna stay here? They won't let you in....YOU WISH YOU WERE MENTAL DUMBO..."
I look around and see no skeleton man...or anything and go closer to the car and place my hand on the letters and say " it isn't really too deep"
And next thing I know I am on the ground because XXXX has sped away.
i decide to go back into the hospital waiting area.and hope the woman who gave me the lollipop is gone..or will leave me alone..i hope all the people who saw me cry because supposedly RUINERS only get bad tasting lollipops are in the back being cared for..I sit down...and the guard says "Uh uh"''' and I say I am sick and I hear things and see things and must be admitted ..and he says "Maybe if you tried to commit yourself when it first began ...things might have gone differently for you...If I were you I might ask myself why decided not to.."...I know or at least think I do that he has said this to get my mind thinking to my tether....a WHOLE NEW REASON it is my fault ...that everything is against me..the guard sees that i am not budging and grabs his walkie talkie and asks if I would like to spend the night in jail for loitering and being a public nuisance. Having spent to much time in many jails coast to coast I say nope and leave and walk as far away from the hospital as I can ..without walking too far in case XXXX is driving around ...to take me home..and than I see Evan appear before my as an occipital over ride ...the great gazoo...he is...no marching band gear...I think and suddenly ,of course the Great Gazoo is wearing a marching band like hat..which quickly goes away ..I feel from Evan some sympathy...and how amusing it is that they can make me think just like a little baby might with a click of a few buttons.."Ha ,Ha" I say aloud though I know he gleans my sentiments. I feel a sense of Seriousity go through me and Evan graph ...Tell me Dumbo...Did what Endicott said in the Annex mean nothing whatsoever? I mean tell me Dumbo...is any of this whatsoever sinking in? are we just blowing CHOKE up your ass?..I don't know ,I graph back hearing my thoughts aloud sounding just like Charlie Brown ..so here I am ..I think hearing my words like I am a voice over in some Charlie Brown Special talking with a Hanna Barbara cartoon Harvey Korman..They seem to know that my inner monologue sounding like Charlie Brown must not go on too much longer...for I have a quick think of just leaping in front of a speeding car I see ...which turns out to be XXXX "Hop in Chuck" he says and I do.
No comments:
Post a Comment