1997.The Autistic Denny Pace

told I was autistic and didn't want the company of others or need it
 saw a special therapist who began commiserating with me that it was alright being different
and not liking or being able to be around others

when I tried saying I DID like being around others the therapist would sometimes put her hand on my knew and shake her head saying

"it's OK ,It's OK..not everyone is the same..

there is good reason NOT to like being around others...
and certainly nothing wrong with finding companionship in yourself...
I guess I began to accept her idea...
my foster parents picked me up and drove me school saying
they were"Making it easier for me" for my autism to try to
shorten the time I would be exposed to social situations.
at lunch from the very first day of elementary school I was "allowed" to eat alone on the school office..
another way of me being able to "function" at school and also have
lots of time apart.

well I don't have to tell you that this strange set up meant to make things easier for me
made me something of a questionable figure
at school..
I need not have feared anyone befriending me..
I was the Weirdo who couldn't be on the bus with other children or eat with them..
at home my foster parents went out of their way to help my supposed Autism..
saying they understood I did not like being touched or spoken to

when I said this was not so...I would often get a mean look
than a nice look

after I said yes
 thank you for not touching me

all through my early homelife I did not eat with my foster family
 but in my room
so I would not be according to my foster parent either  over stimulated or overwhelmed

My rooms in all the foster houses were nice..
and always had art supplies in them
My therapist and foster parents said that non verbal language of drawing would help me adapt to my autism..

 put a kid in a room with only paper and a black marker
and the kid has little choice but to become an artist.

somehow this was the point ..
my role
even way back than..
so way back to now I would have what it takes to be the type to scream online
that I am being bombarded with Microwaves
for being tHE TYPE
all should know and agree should not be allowed to paint or write their sickness

only later did I begin to find others made into
TYPES
who would later have little choice but to play their role in The New Way

• create art meant to

•seek those drawn to Anti American
•"degenerate themes"
•and next write stories that
•dealt with anti-American activities...

•                                                      create  various sites  as Honeypots that might interest a certain type that needed to brought out in the open
•The label of Outsider Artist will be given to you so people can be free in a "There but for the Grace of God Go I" way to feel free to peruse your work as "specimen " rather than affiliate.
•

)2_
 As with all forms of symbol based thinking, association-based and similarity-based notions of cause(symbol)creating effect(automatic response ) in a human who has been trained to be only responsive to Cues .One must be careful not to destroy Ingraining Methodologies with non cybernetic EBD(Emotion Based Demonstratives) that only offset a child's programmed input: a hug or a smile not "timed" with an instigated Representational Responsive can undo the child's Reactive Based Codification System hopefully already incurred .It is important that a Representational Mother or Father Figure who has been chosen to "play" the caregiver in the child's life stick entirely with the prescribed guideline give them .There are already way too many things that can go wrong with a an Imprint System once the child leaves the nursery (in one instance we "lost" a child subject" when the child began associating "freedom" from his "annex" when he learned to assume honking cars and the sound of traffic with "an alternative "means of reality not based on Referentials introduced ONLY by a human subject's care givers.) This is why nearly all induced symbol/reactive triggers.*must be introduced upon a child before child's mind has developed enough to consider these cause and effect imprints** have been manufactured by "staged trauma" so as to negate Spindle cell growth in the posterior ventromedical nucleus ( responsible for emotional intelligence, love, empathy, kindness)to persuade the child's amygdala instead to process these stressors.
 .

*Disamiguate- to establish a single semantic or grammatical interpretation
 Mnemosyne - source of the word mnemonic was the personification of memory in Greek Mythology
 Chroneme -(1) a basic, theoretical unit of sound that can distinguish words by duration only of a vowel or consonant.
 (2)The visual language that interprets language into image also breaks down unit's of inner sight into Logoor "cartoon"
 grapheme - the smallest unit used in describing the writing system of a language
 *
 Role of symbol based imagery in perceptual cue based
 by Irene P. Kan, Lawrence

3)

as after December 2000 my benefactor from the Memphis Ohio art council
told me a "storm was a' brewing" and I should "go anti American" for my next

show...
the curator said he wanted
upside down flags..
burning flags...and whatnot.

                                                   "why?," I asked

but I was given no answers just some art books that demonstrated the "I hate USA"  vibe he wanted/
I did not hate the USA..in fact I felt very little at all about anything
over the years I had been on almost every psych drug known to man
to either pull me away from my supposed autism or
make me OK with all I have missed being isolated
because of this label
also I was given drugs to take away side effects of the years of psych drugs that had begun a longtime ago ruining my brain

in the later months ..small envelopes came in the mail with "catch phrases on them"

"Fear of Flags"..."This Land is Your Land"(accompanied by some cut out newspaper photos of poor people in a soup kitchens...)

NEXT...I was told to write ...

in a similar fashion. copying from bound books that came in the mail..
my only job in typing these books online was to make sure I spelled many words wrong ..and never veer from the paragraphs  or write too many entries from the book .. at once ..because each entry had a specific date .

but things went real real bad when I began writing all the entries out and posting the dates days in advance not thinking what I was doing because MY TEAM told me never to consider what I was writing or really read what I was writing because it was none of my business what they were trying to accomplish

but things went wrong when someone from online asked me to do an interview because some of my art was in a magazine
it was in 2006 the interview that made me entire Team think I was up to something  but it isn't my fault that the interview took place on the phone and nobody told me what to say about my work

5) What was your impetus .Your reason for doing a painting about Abugriab?The reporter asked

'Oh ...yeah ,' i said," They told me to paint that picture about Abrugraib....they actually did the first layer ..the under painting  and than just said "do your thing" over top.."

"How many paintings were given to you with underpaintings and iword to write on the finished work?"the reporter asked

"..I don't think i was supposed to mention this..can I call you back when I spoke to my Team who sends me the paintings and books to type up? I said.

'I'm sure "your team" wouldn't mind if you answer a few questions ...anything you don't want me to write ..we can discuss later when you get back to "Your Team" the reporter said in a real real nice way like I could tell he was smiling when he said "Your Team" ..Not realizing at the time I had begun writing several pages online about hearing voices and seeing things..because according to the books ,I guess Bad people "app" someone's brain who paint bad pictures of flags ..and mean pictures of people torturing Abugrabes..

Later My Team said YOU F*CKIN IDIOT! the reporter thought your TEAM Idiot! were VOICES in yuour F*ckin HEAD!

I wish I knew that when I was tricked by the reporter who goated me into talking about things I shouldn't have said possible deliberately

'yeah..I get these little books each month and my job is to write them with lots of mis-spellings...and I get paid like pretty good to do this..I type with one finger...or sometimes two..but always have to look at the keys..the keys on the computer...and really never check what I am writing..It's just dictation really.."

"Thank you for being so honest " the reporter said

"sure,' I said,'I'm doing for a good reason...ya' know ..Or at least that's what they told me.."

"and what's that..the good reason?"

"uuuuh ..to catch dissidents...and degenerates and anti Americans who like my work..."I say

"and this doesn't bother you?" the reporter says.

"I think . I'm supposed to say i am crazy...mentally in the head and all.and that I hate the USA  or something I am not sure ..Can I check with my Team?...you knda' caught me off guard here.."

•  create art meant to
  
• seek those drawn to Anti American
• "degenerate themes"
• and next write stories that
• dealt with anti-American activities...

•                                                       create  various sites  as Honeypots that might interest a certain type that needed to brought out in the open
• The label of Outsider Artist will be given to you so people can be free in a "There but for the Grace of God Go I" way to feel free to peruse your work as "specimen " rather than affiliate.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

the reluctant dissident

(The Blob Alt . Scene 12 )
INT-DENNY PACE'S MIND- DAY
DENNY PACE ,his art studio ransacked .His mouth is taped shut and a canvas has been broken upon is head .He now wears the work of art he has done like a collar around his neck. Two GOONS,in caricature colorlessness sit on either side of DENNY ripping and burning DENNY'S sketches and writings which litter the small studio in ribbons of MGM overkill.
We ZOOM in on poor DENNY PACE's face past his" thick skin" and into DENNY's skull. next landing like a snowflake ,like a bio chip- on the warmth /into the weave of DENNY'S co-opted neural tissue.

                                                                               DENNY

i was supposed to "stay on track"

play some part..

the dissident artist...the malcontent...the degenerate..

it was all arrange.

every painting...DONE -specifically to "read' look how cwaaaazzzy I is.

of course to be honest..

I went along with it..

I didn't know what I was getting into..

                                                         I was to be the "Last Night at the Brain Thieves Ball"

                                                         sign post.

                                                         the "outsider" wacko...

but I was beginning to wise up.

realizing that name ,rank and serial numbers were being taken

of those who visited my site

and name  ,bank and credit card number

of all who actually bought my "simulated sedition"

 

I suppose I have no excuse..

except I couldn't really say no could I?

 

I was raised literally to be non functional.

they call the way I was raised many things...

I wasn't supposed to know..

somehow..

but the older I got the most none of it made sense..

I basically lived in my own world since I was a kid.

I was not allowed to go out with friends

I was told I was autistic and didn't want the company of others or need it

I saw a special therapist who began commiserating with me that it was alright being different

and not liking or being able to be around others

when I tried saying I DID like being around others the therapist would sometimes put her hand on my knew and shake her head saying

"it's OK ,It's OK..not everyone is the same..

there is good reason NOT to like being around others...

and certainly nothing wrong with finding companionship in yourself...

I guess I began to accept her idea...

my foster parents picked me up and drove me school saying

they wer e"Making it easier for me" for my autism to try to

shorten the time I would be exposed to social situations.

at lunch from the very first day of elementary school I was "allowed" to eat alone on the school office..

another way of me being able to "function" at school and also have

lots of time apart.

well I don't have to tell you that this strange set up meant to make things easier for me made me something of a questionable figure

at school..

I need not have feared anyone befriending me..

I was the Weirdo who couldn't be on the bus with other children or eat with them..

at home my foster parents went out of their way to help Autism..

saying they understood I did not like being touched or spoken to

when I said this was not so...I would often get a mean look than a nice look

after I said yes thank you for not touching me

all through my early homelife I did not eat with my foster family but in my room

so I would not be aroused by what they called over stimulation

My rooms in all the foster houses were nice..

and always had art supplies in them

My therapist and foster parents said that non verbal language of drawing would help me

adapt to my autism..

 



 As with all forms of symbol based thinking, association-based and similarity-based notions of cause(symbol)creating effect(automatic response ) in a human who has been trained to be only responsive to Cues .One must be careful not to destroy Ingraining Methodologies with non cybernetic EBD(Emotion Based Demonstratives) that only offset a child's programmed input: a hug or a smile not "timed" with an instigated Representational Responsive can undo the child's Reactive Based C...odification System hopefully already incurred .It is important that a Representational Mother or Father Figure who has been chosen to "play" the caregiver in the child's life stick entirely with the prescribed guideline give them .There are already way too many things that can go wrong with a an Imprint System once the child leaves the nursery (in one instance we "lost" a child subject" when the child began associating "freedom" from his "annex" when he learned to assume honking cars and the sound of traffic with "an alternative "means of reality not based on Referentials introduced ONLY by a human subject's care givers.) This is why nearly all induced symbol/reactive triggers.*must be introduced upon a child before child's mind has developed enough to consider these cause and effect imprints** have been manufactured by "staged trauma" so as to negate Spindle cell growth in the posterior ventromedical nucleus ( responsible for emotional intelligence, love, empathy, kindness)to persuade the child's amygdala instead to process these stressors.
.

*Disamiguate- to establish a single semantic or grammatical interpretation
Mnemosyne - source of the word mnemonic was the personification of memory in Greek Mythology
Chroneme -(1) a basic, theoretical unit of sound that can distinguish words by duration only of a vowel or consonant.
(2)The visual language that interprets language into image also breaks down unit's of inner sight into Logoor "cartoon"
grapheme - the smallest unit used in describing the writing system of a language
*
Role of symbol based imagery in perceptual cue based
by Irene P. Kan, Lawrence

as after December 2000 my benefactor from the Memphis Ohio art council

told me a "storm was a' brewing" and I should "go anti American" for my next

showing...

upside down flags..

burning flags...and whatnot.

                                                   "why?," I asked

but I was given no answers just some art books

with paintings I was to study.

since I received money from the Memphis Ohio art council to literally exist.

in the later months ..small envelopes came in the mail with "catch phrases on them"

"Fear of Flags"..."This Land is Your Land"(accompanied by some cut out newspaper photos of poor people in a soup kitchens...)

NEXT...I was told to write ...

in a similar fashion.

and sent to LA by the memphis ohio art council

to learn how to write in dissident manner...

(this took years to learn)

                                             but it never occurred to the Memphis Oho art council

I might begin

writing about where these crazy ideas came from...

in one interview

'Oh ...yeah ,' i said," They told me to paint that picture about Abruidgraib....they actually did the first layer ..the under painting  and than just said "do your thing" over top.."

"How many paintings were given to you with underpaintings and iword to write on the finished work?"

"uuuuuuuuuh...I don't think i was supposed to mention this..can we ..sorta' just pretend I didn't say this" Like just write I was high on something..because I am...you know.."

the article the guy was writing never came out.

but yesterday he wrote me ..he still had the tape ..of me saying what I did..

and said ..

he has a funny feeling "the things I seem to write"

are also coming from another source..

worried.

I gave him my phone number..to try to iron this all out..

I didn't call the Memphis Ohio Art Council figuring it best I handle this on my own

to sound sincere and relaxed I had a few drinks ..when he asked about the writings..the blogs

'yeah..I get these little books each month and my job is to write them with lots of mis-spellings...and I get paid like pretty good to do this..I type with one finger...or someintes two..but always have to look at the keys..the keys on the computer...and really never check what I am writing..It's just dictation really.."

"Thank you for being so honest " the reporter said

"sure,' I said,'I'm doing for a good reason...ya' know ..Or at least that's what they told me.."

"and what's that..the good reason?"

"uuuuh ..to catch dissidents...and degenerates and anti Americans who like my work..."I say

"and this doesn't bother you?" the reporter says.

"Let's forget I said anything .." i say,"remembering I should have said something else ...in one of the books..they gave me describing what I should say..to "Ruiners'..uuhh..can we just forget I said anything..I am on something...I battle substance abuse ...'

"you seem to have all your bases covered don't you..you take no responsibility for anything you write or draw " the reporter says.

"I think ..uh..that's because I'm supposed to say i am crazy...ill,mentally,in the head and all.."

"are you?" the reporter asks.

"no.." I say," but I am supposed to use that as an excuse..I think..wait..can you hold on..while I look it up....what I am supposed to say..you knda' caught me off guard here.."