they see out of my eyes and hear out of my ears and feel what I feel and I feel what they feel
I know what they know.
they say it's to make me smarter.
and this is deep learning
not psychotronic torture
and if I keep writing about like it's torture something real real bad will happen to me because I insinuate that my united states might have done some funny stuff to kids
and some funnier stuff to these kids later with voice data image induction
which makes you have movement disorders
cause when your team is fed up with your attitude
they begin aiming the direct energy pulse and frequency at your limbic system
to make you curl up..
and be all sick looking and spooky looking
and mayber if I showe da little respect I might not be in the trouble I am in.
and if I wrote about this only the way they said
and not at all about my childhood or referentials
which was supposed to be ontray new.meaning between me and my Team
who spiked my neural tissue with teeny tiny carbon nanotubes that are so so tiny 6000 of them fit on a head of a pin
these little what they called neural prosthetics supposedly will help people with autism and alzheimers and locked in syndrome.
and who the fuck are you to think one little life
is that important when helping others all is at stake and things like making "teams" know how one responds to TV
second to second ..so the tv shows can take advantage of associations in someone's mind to make tv more fun
called interactive tv
but I see one's team gets confused with a neural read when like a picture of a sex scene is followe dby a commercial with a giant baby in it
and they think you are
sick because a second before some guy not a baby but a man turned you on
and than you get a bad bad pain in your arm
for purposely trying to graph sick sick thoughts and fades and transistions to your team
and than you pop a pill when they stay they will make your calicium ions go wild if you dare take atavan
because eone little benzo wastes an entire day and hALF.
But it is too late
and this is the new way
and it is a small small sacrifice
the intrusion into your neural prosthetics which they shoved in your arm in L.A. after the voice to skull mad eyou crazy and break a window
the intrusion even if it is for locked in syndrome is wrong
they can't seem to stand the intrusion either into their minds ..although THEY have wearbles.
they didn't think it would be this way
they expected
minds to slow down and speak
but minds weren't made that way
minds weren't meant for this
they scare me not just in me but everywhere I go.
genuine people I see.
not the seeing of things
my team makes me see...and dream
my apartment broken into
my
nipped by cars...
and called daily by people telling me ...if I don't shut up about it someone will cut my mouth off
I don't quite know how someone cuts one's mouth off
but a dead cat with it's mouth sliced ear to ear
placed in front of my door step last Tuesday
the only reason I was born they say is to be this
and
this is the reason I was raised like I was.
"
in
the community theater by
Parasol Picture parents
who foresaw the future
and
had
begun
creating
programming
to
GO
with
the "apps"that hadn't been invented yet
but they knew how the mind could work with them all the way back a Mandler said back in the mid 60's
and so kids were born ...to be raised for the "apps"
no one called things apps back then
because there were not even phones I think ...that had buttons...
just this circle you spun with your finger
like in old movies
in the old movies they always show the entire circle go round
and you sit there
like a dummy
thinking
why I am watching this person doing this
and than you begin thinking why am I watching this dumb tv
than your head hurts because they have to make you have pain
to learn how not to think bad things
my mandlers say
my mandlers graph
that very very super smart people
had
been
creating
referential
"happenings"
in
film
tv
and
literature
that
acted
as
what
Valerie Prentiss called Referentials
Valerie who is a tv producer and a close friend of my various foster families since I was very very small
she would come over only on my birthday
and kiss my on the forehead
and than scratch me
on the cheek with a tiny tiny blade
she did this until I was 8
and than just came over in her car
and my foster family would make me
go out side
and watch her watch me with big sunglasses on
she would not smile
but look through me like I was
a pane of glass
when I was 13 I stood there watching her watch me
and picked up a rock and threw it towards not at her
and than I was put in a car and driven to a motel room
by my foster family
who said
I need a time out
and everyone doesn't want to
work with me anymore
and I had better hope that things turn around because I am ruining things for everyone
and here's some money for you to eat for a week.
at first I was glad being alone by myself in my own hotel room
and thought it was cool
like in some movie
but in the movies
the poor kids and bad kids all hang together and smoke and drink and dance in the hotel room all together
not alone
because they are ruining things
all I had was the tv.
and by the 3 rd or forth day I felt like I was going crazy.
and nobody said anything but
you shouldn't be making expensive calls on our bill when I called home
and angry sounding talking speech
that things were still not being worked out and the more I called the more I was just making things worse for myself
and I should use my time alone to think of all the bad attitude and bad eminations I have put into the air
with my ruiner thinking
to try to spread my badness and bad senses all out side of my own body and head to everyone more and more each year
and even when I was baby
people said that they could feel me trying to inflict my cruelness of heart upon everyone I came into contact with even animals and even plants
and surely God himself felt my ruiner ways
and ruining of the social experiemtns
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