January 18th

in the dream
I realize
I am forced to realize...this dream is someone  else's
 they want me  to Know
this...
I remember trying to force myself awake....
but instead the dream becomes more vivid
as if the point of the dream is mainly to show me ..I can't win
that the last vestages of ME
are gone


the point of the
Voice was
to
make me feel small..
helpless
...
condescended to...
your entire childhood was scripted IT said
---------------every day
was pre planned in advance

you\
were brought up

only to be

a lab rat
 born only for an exercise in  reverse brain engineering which required " teams"to lay down  tracks

to us  you were an 8 track tape player
a camera

that's all


pivot points and keynotes
were imprinted upon you

memorable "moments" that produced
emotional trauma's
that could be re-triggered.....

as we knew that
in time
technology would "catch up" to our philosophy

  scripted upbringing was based in part on rings in side redwood trees that provided a botanist to identify environmental timeline

the voice ran
another voice
as if two not one

minds were
"thinking at me " in unison


"television "the second voice  said at the same time as the words about my supposed "childhood"

2 different thought patterns
2 different messages going at once
(it was the first time I really considering shooting my self)

I now knew that
there only objective was  to completely destroy my thought process

and the one or two percent
of
people who
become actors
who are graced with not only
LOOKS
but a
CHARISMATIC PRESENSE

was
also
primarily
to make
the masses
feel

insignificant and less than

to remind THEM
of
their place
on the
"food chain"

to take advantage of the
EGO and ID
that
consciously and unconsciously
made comparisons
to
FALSE REALITY
and
FALSE REPRESENTATION
of
basic Identity

 

but MOVIES.some MOVIES were made for an entirely different reason the Voice said

                                                                     do you understand.do you understand
                                                                     do you understand    do you understand.do you understand
                                                                     do you understand   do you understand.do you understand
                                                                     do you understand   do you understand.do you understand
                                                                     do you understand

I understand
I want
to smash you now...I thought back
like you smashed ME
and how many
more
like me
we
raised for IT
to see ....


if


you really want to see


IF?

no.

no ya don't


just count the fuckin" rings
...


.