egoless

Evan wakes me up....

with a trumpet sound

"you like that?"huh"he graphs

next
 my first Visual of the day

 a giant cricket that seems to take over half the room


sensing I am petrified
the cricket turn to Jiminy Cricket

"we can do this the hard way or the easy way kiddo" Evan states
I glean of thought
comes over me .
Not words but
thought-
Evan
interfaces his emotions -
that  I have begun
"turning"
on
study in such a way
that yes
NOW
we CAN hurt you ...
and how satisfied some of my "Manders " are now that I have crossed
lines
that
he knows I know should not have been crossed

making every little thing clinical ,cynical and differential
and now
these posts about
downright lies  about --
                                                       but he gives something away in his directed neurals
                                                      some beat ,some inadvertent "tweet" that I am not as "off base"
                                                       in some of my conclusions
                    
as I myself
wondered

shut your fuckin pie hole Evan Imparts
meaning
STOP THINKING
which is virtually and unvirtually impossible

I expect some "graphic" of me with my
fingers cut off.
a vision I see more and more as I reach for my laptop

I have not gone outside the house for a week

for nothing is scarier than Mandlers Mind to Mind
than Mandlers
face to face

"it's a story" I graph...."ain't nooooobody gonna believe it....dumbass"
I think to him
and get in return an extreme pain in my left hand that makes it curl into itself....

how can they do this....
I know beams and waves are invisible..
but the sheer power of some these electronics
seem so utterly
intense
that
I find it difficult
to
fathom

the apparent "nothingness" of Remote Re-Education or whatever the fuck they are calling IT today

"uncurl my fuckin hand you Nazi scumbag....."

the carton cricket becomes huge again and non representational.....realer than any giant bug movie
but
this is
no mere movie...

my mind cannot help but reel back to specific patent numbers..of published Telemetry "apparatus"

Christ only knows
what isn't published


"YOU...THAT's WHO..."
Evan gets back
on point
I look down at my undershirt which is now a blue striped pajama top...with a number on it...

ONE day I will wake up and ONLY see what they want me to see..

the implication of Concentration Camp detainee ...and the Giant Cricket  seem so discordant that I am no longer terrified.

I realize that this
dip in neural spike-age has been duly noted
at
"ground control"
because
the pain stops

as I have been "of service"
in my evoked response....concerning discordant "theme" in Phosphene Induced  "seeing"

EVAN appears in his favorite guise
"my significant " OTHER
in the format of my
dendrite definition of "Dream Lover"

I am infuriated that
Evan
would
cross lines  in such a matter

I worry that from now on I can't play with EVAN in this role
as he will be associated
now with
fear

clearly someone 'more in control of their tempers
steps in...

my HZs are deliberately switched to a baseline neutrality
and I feel
a craftsman's art of
"that didn't happen"
via
a narcoleptic moment of what I refer to as Freeze Frame

EVAN 's back
Mind to Mind
I can feel
his still simmering
simmer down

I have an odd respect
for him sharing
this with me
instantly
he knows this..
that I still 'respect"
the imbuement of it all in some perhaps 'sick" way
a thought runs through me
that he has to Impart to me
the collective
atmosphere of
"cool it with typing and research because ...

Why so Sirius

is becoming not just a warning but a threat

and
I must take my punishment for
disrespecting my mandlers

either
by interface
or a wallop in the face
by
"ground bound"
interventions
that they have little control over





he feels I am being quite deliberately unfair
towards Neuronautics
and that the
renegotiation of my Parental Systems
is part and parcel
of assemblage
of
necessary states of
ego -lessness
which will make me accept
'the state
of
the situation"
more congruently.

one thing is true .you start resisting a co -consciousness ,ground bound threats or not you end up
slappin' your head
wailing
like a bona fide
schizophrenic
having "a moment"

it does no good
to resists something one has no firewall to protect

The Brain....

once it's been
peppered with "Merge"nano biotech

I hear incidental music.....and a loud yawn...
too much introspection
...
they often believe my stream of consciousness is deliberate

that I use it as
divergence
as buffer
or firewall

--------------
I take a deep breath
and light a cigarette

whether or not ,Evan says ,you were indeed raised to "be had" is inconsequential..

 

that being reborn

and re awakened

is about letting go of

parental leanings so that something of a clean slate might remain...

in terms of me

bonding with The Entity

as my new conditioner

and

co -pilot.

 

"it's hit or miss sometimes, we've never done this before...so give us a little bit of credit here" Evan Imparts

 

you want to fight The New Way?

we'll punch right back

 

 

EVAN's voice becomes more computer like

as if

Voice Over for some Documentary

reading this

"studying of "The Study"

I see baby guinea pigs in the folds of a blanket on a chair.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Like real  guinea pigs  Proxy should be  handled from the moment they are born .

Just like real guinea pigs  being passed around after birth for the sake of bonding , the Proxy (the Participant) must receive just enough warmth and gentleness to "keep them on their toes and somewhat motivated as one might be in a naturalistic "home"

.A listless guinea pig is  just like a human baby who has not received a "foundational sense of bonding and  will often develop severe developmental problems.

 It has been my experience that handling Proxy early on makes them very calm and easygoing with people .Some researchers  prefer to  raise a Proxy" wrong on purpose" as "Proxy" like  guinea pigs are often used for research studies that often depend upon attempts to reverse ingrained behaviors

 

 If the Proxy like the  guinea pig has been" purposed "to see how their brains and nervous systems  react to instigated environmental situations it is alright to begin mitigated  "situationals "in the first week or so of their birth .whether the Participant has been conceived for  problem solving excercises or other means of experimentation it is still necessary to handle the subject and" pet" them often so they remain used to human interaction