I simply can't reconcile the oddness of this connection as psychogenic in nature..
I met the people ...who
"set me up " for this...
I am too scared to go there....
will it make any difference? or will my 'story" seem even more "mental" in it's merit?
I am writing this for " 20 years from now"
lately I am convinced
that even in 2 decades this technology
will not be
"released" as product but kept hidden....
and used only for
for a killing of one who deserves no quick exit
for one who deserves
whats so scary is that it's invisible.
and so unbelievable
I read they can use psychotronics for a direct energy specifically to cause concussion
I wake up and can only hope to my mentors
to stop.....dragging it out and just "hit me" with enough
HZs to finish me off.
a type of neurotronic lobotomy so I won't care anymore...
about the visions and sounds that
I can make no future plans for myself.
the pills make me zombie-like in a way that is the same and different as the electronic detainment...
is not as I write of it..
Because of it..so much extra thought ,extra words,extra sensory ...
that it has to come out
some how or I will be back to banging my head literally against a wall...
screaming through the streets....
the more I think
the more "they have on me"
which is than used towards me...
it is not how I write of it...
there is no real meaningful "conversation"
I ask it ,think towards IT for guidance
"what to do you want of me..."
but I know what it wants
me to die...
to kill myself
is Living .living like this...
is the reason to live now only so they must "keep going"
I know how this will end
I know I am being worn down
and that one day
that simply waking and "living"
is not worth the price...
as I have said nobody believes this is possible ...and certainly not that it is happening right here
how it changed...
I remember the specific day it began...
I wish I knew the specific day I or they might end it...
there is no end in sight...
I take another pill..
but the pills only make me unable to think....
and my mind
a tv than
with their sound and images....
no response from me...
I wonder if they "like" anyone they do this to...
if it is possible
to like anyone for very long under remote neural monitor...
I come off as a loon when I write of it this way...
to at least present myself INSANE?
is that not enough
of a punishment in itself...
"aren't you the guy who hears and sees things and thinks their a Human Experiment?"
an aquaitance from the bar I used to go to said...
"yeah.yeah.i guess I am..." I said...
a bar is one place one can go and stare into specie and not look
but I left anyway..I can't afford to drink...or be hung over
with bio sensors and Direct Neural Interface
"why did they make such a point of telling me
"it's all true"
face to face.?
why did they take away my last sanity -that I was simply insane
and having hallucinations?
I could have dealt with that..
but I can't deal with knowing a company/a group ,a "team"