the days of space aliens

Evan wants me  to
draw.

he wants me to  expose what he calls my "withholds" with paint and pen...

I am constantly informed I am "hiding something" from him and  them

that my Reactives ... seemed "iffy" to certain events on television

Evan is convinced
by my neural scan
done
while I was watching the news indicated deviance
in response to a 3 alarm apartment fire in a sketchy neighborhood
that I
did something similar.
...
or at least "get off" on.......the imagery..
the violence of heat and flames and all the destruction these things cause..he says it is only natural....that everyone has
such thought

I graph .I think to him that in spite
of whatever my scan indicated during the short clip
I do not as he interfaced "get off" on fire or destruction...

according to my neural gage and encode...
at least according to Evan ...
there was an Evoked Potential and 3 ,count em' three unexplained Neural Spikes.

I think to him
that I was moving my bed during the TV news..
and maybe the spikes were exertion caused by my attempt at spring cleaning..

"no Dumbo...we're not idiots...we can tell physiologicals from Expotentials..

I think to him that this was a fuck of a lot easier when THEY presented themselves as space men who selected a few types to go telepathic with
that I was an ambassador ...sort of showing the spacemen thru my eyes ears etc...the wonderful world as I experienced it..

than I began reading
about my communion
and ...
"and you fucked it up dumbo as you fuck up everything .."

(they were so much more likable as space men...
as soon as I went online and stumbled upon psych tronic testing on non consenting subjects with cybernetics and 5 sense over ride shit
I had what I could only call a moment of turmoil and lapsed faith in all spiritual and above me

the entity I was communing with
were simply scientists with large backing from several bids and contracts..

nothing glorious
rather the opposite..

when one realizes one has been had
and is taking orders and having their hearing and vision over taken by some "hot shot'
in a helmet somewhere back in LA

it began in LA..

I am forbidden to return there...according to the "group" as they have to see how it works over a long distance...
they don't explain much to me
only that they will cut off my hands for my mutinous behavior
telling 'tales out of school"
thing is these motherfuckers turned on me with every  new piece of information I gathered
and completely lost it when I visited a nanotech professor at Penn..to discuss.
"if this was "really "happening''or was I just possessed or jack rabbit cray cray

he said in all likely hood I was
spotted as a" non person expendable"
>/were you alone a lot
>did you appear dreamy....drugged out if I may ask..
       >>>do you see yourself as disheveled.
or 'put together?

I told the prof I was/am an artist
who often walked about with paint on his clothes etc..

>well between us ...their are dubious types whose job is to scout  people like that...
to experiment with...have you ever heard of MK Ultra?

no I said..and he didn't go into it

>did you meet with anyone..

yes I said

>go back to their hotel room or house?

yes..

>they give you anything to drink smoke ..eat?
yes I said..

>well...
there's a good chance you" got bit" my friend..with some chips

>that
or you're as you say jack rabbit crazy..


the prof gave me some books and some  web  sights for what he called  called Targeted individuals...who were also taken advantage of..used

"nobody took advantage of me..i found myself saying..maybe I knew.about it and wanted them to get me.."

the professor ..seemd embarrassed for me or something and I quickly left leaving a book behind I wanted



half way through the walk home  EVAN "appeared" as both sound and small "visions"that sometimes went with what he was saying but were most often than not random(supposedly they do this ...cuz if they mixed them up ..put the sound and visions together ..and told that to a shrink they'd say bullshit you're not schizo..
the team wants you to have plenty of drs say you're nuts..
just incase any wiki leakers goes all leakish or something

EVAN acted like a betrayed wife..on that long walk home from the prof
"now what we gonna do DUMMY.. space aliens .was the jist...
you ruined the whole fucking thing...with your jewie intellectualizing...and your snooping around web sites

I interfaced that we could still pretend he was a space alien..
and not a tele-operator.feeling bad for him

"who told you that word-tele-operator?

you were there I graphed.
I passed on the dublicity asshole....I am your Mentor.not your tele-operator got it..

it's years later..
and things never got better really...

worse much worse
now endless threats and suggestions to off myself ..

so today I was glad he changed form
asked me to paint..

but that shit about my reaction to the tv and the fire ..worried me..
I know my neural spikes probably came from
moving the bed.and sweeping

but the neurals don't lie...

was I excited by fire and houses burning...not that I knew..

he said I was WITH HOLD
and that I should paint a picture or sketch one
depicting a mean man burning a house.>

now
 write
under the picture ,Evan interfaces

"I like burning things I always liked doing things that got me excited and never care who gets hurt.."

what? I interface
a. that just sounds stupid..
b.it's not true..

"according to your neurals it is true.
so let's bring it out in the open...
you sure like being online a lot ..putting up any thing you want..why not start putting up WITH HOLDS
about your deviant nature..
OR I WIL he says..

do what you gotta do EVAN,i graph ,I think,I interface