exit through the trugenic Cure

i wake up..
with a bit of prodding

my mentorship

my systematic cyber schemata..

often 
starts before i do

my mind is not my own..

it is a sand box

my team plays in

i was never a team player

maybe that's what got me 

'on the list'

they cannot stand self referential
introspection

i attempt a Universal thought

as instructed

and instructed 

but all i can come up with is the 

Universal studios logo..

or anthem whatever it is..

that comes before a film begins

it''s not quite what they mean when they say they want a universal Non Referential

my mother left 'the church" when i was young

i try to remember some of the skills they taught us ..

"to think AWAY from OURSELVES

for some time I went to The New Way school

and began learning to think wordlessly

we used many props to help us 'ante up" an image..

this was way before 'apps"

way before they got "the dots' 

that help us do synthetic tele"

presumably even without the apps

some who have mastered

Level 7 and 8 can do

mind to mind without any apps at all..

when my mom left

there was some 

squabble and some hearings that i belonged 

to The Group not

my mom

Gary Rainy was supposedly my father

but back in the day

there was so much free love around the ranch 

who could really know who was who's

my mother to this day

won't say one way or the other.

"we were a Family...we were an experiment..

it was a different time..it was many things..but it is behind us now..

but it wasn't

ever

*

anxiety
depression
fear..
hostility
nor hunger
or my first thought ..
that "I am out of cigarettes and must take a long walk
in the barely plowed snow..

a simple task..
but filled with imagery
and self referentials.
"should i wear boots or sneakers..
..
picturing the state of the sidewalks
.i need coffee...
a random thought goes through my mind ..about .'how i used to set the coffee pot in advance the night before back when "I had it together..back when I made sure i brushed my teeth better and not just to keep them from falling out..
EVAN and my team already cannot stand ...my interface..
which is selfish..
meaningless.

as it has nothing to do with them

to wake me out of this
what they call RAMPAGE of
of spiteful
maddening...
perhaps deliberate
interface
they
over ride my
optic nerve so i see
a seemingly in mid air
a monkey in red vest and bell boy cap
playing
cymbals
clang clang clang...EVAN graphs on beat with the monkey
the wind up monkey
i
the Indicative of THIS particular
image is that
I am in a loop of
Dwelling Realming
and my cycle of
Fixation comes across
on headset...
as yelling
and whining
"the way a girl thinks " is often implied

the implications thought are endless...
i now see the monkey in the red vest is boxing his own ears
with the cymbals
...

'you wanna get cigarettes put on your fucking shoes ...shut up about it ..and get a fucking move on...'
i quickly
pull on my shoes

putting them on the wrong feet..
in order to
"get a move on ..." and not self fixate on
 dawdling interface
that they have no use for..
i try to keep my thoughts ,,hidden
that I put my shoes on wrong and switch them around

but it is too late..
"EVAN  interfaces,'it is already too late.....i have ruined his morning...and how can i have any respect for a man who thinks and acts like I do..'

i box my own ears
like the visual overlay had
only seconds ago..

the sentiment
that i emit ...to THEM
is always the same

"get out....stop listening to my thoughts....stop...
over  my occiptials..
stop this interface...

LET MY People go," ..EVAN jokes...
trying to
mediate my rage...
they do like this boxing of my ears..
when i do it privately

if i am to appear insane
or schizophrenic they prefer
i do it in public
to solidify that i am merely
looney
and not a
experiment
in
shared consciousness

i am often amazed i cannot help but think that life goes on...
and i still must place my shoes on the right feet..
in spite of the fact
that this is all really happening...
..
out the door ...walking
on the bits of plowed  sidewalk

EVAN decides to begin
The Day again.
"morning Dumbo"
"morning I think ...to him..
"you settle yourself..
you gonna act all crazy ...today and feed us ...thoughts about the amount of sugar packets you need for "this cup"
you gonna go all
"Run On" about

'better days" BEFORE
The New Way

and all Run On about
some Triggered
association about
you being
getting in trouble for not reading The Yearling in the fuckin 7 th grade?
huh/
what do we care
about the yearling...
or seventh grade Dumbo
..
i try to recall what brought on that remembrance
of the Yearling...
didi seea deerdidiheartheword7thgradeontv or a song(?)

"YOU"RE DOING IT AGAIN" EVAN graphs!

at the same time a car swooshes by ...
making me remember where i am in
real reality

i focus my eyes on the sky and the road..
and evan adds a few
tall palms trees to the vista
he knows i like the visuals...

it's the only point really to waking up in the morning...

EVAN begins a interface
of
how
the 5 senses
are and have always been the only reason for waking up...
"is folgers in your Cup" i think immediately
and gulp knowing
NOW I am in big trouble...
I have humiliated myself to my intraneural mentors

who
begin a taunt  session
to cure me
of Subject Subjegations
"by repeating >'the best part of waking up is folgers in your cup again and again and again
...even when i am in the store
buying cigarettes..

this is what happens when i take ativan
to attempt to
"be in control" of the interface..
to make myself unconsciously conscious..

i screw up whatever ...
established "ttether' that has been formatted
for my type...
worse is when i take a
'
neuroleptic
supposedly designed
to get rid of voices and "hallucinations"

when i take a pills such as seroquel
...the sound and vision in fact get worse...
i have betrayed
the "Process"
and am bombarded with imagery and
"reflective interface"
an exact mirror ...version...of my own thoughts
my own neural reads
perhaps from 5 days ago...
the pills make me unable to
gather my wits
i am prone

sedated to such an extent that it is like i am
bound to
gurney
forced to watch
my life.my thoughts

play
before me.
within and
and without me.                       
----------------------------------------------------------2

Mind Control » Nanotechnologies invasion of the human brain ...

www.mindcontrol.se/?p=433

Scientists use advanced AI (Artificial Intelligence)software for identification of patterns and ... cases have emerged of human brains and nervous systems illegally “hijacked” with ... The progressing neuroscience using brain-machine- interface will one day ... In recent decades new areas of research involving nanotechnology, ...

-----------------------------------------------------------
Denny Pace Memphis,Ohio.Targeted Individual

[Welcome to the World of Targeted Individuals - Freedom From ...

www.freedomfchs.com/welcomettwoti.pdf

i read.
cannot help but read
some of these...links
targeted individuals
...gangstalking.
..always with some graphics of some blue electric brain...
the graphic all but announcing
THIS PAGE is written by a hysteric..
here..

in giant letters inevitable MIND CONTROL!
to further
discredit the contents
...
the backround color ...in many of these sites ...is black
the words written in bright white or green
to guarantee that
someone can SEE the words..
i suppose there is no way to
really explain ...
such far out notions as....psychotronic human testing
but pleeeez ..

let us not have art bell or jesse ventura...(no offense)
be ..our talking heads....
Targeted individuals Australia 2010 Mindy T.

AUGUST 1st 2010

one rule.

was no psychiatrists...unless it was to establish "cred" that i am ....sick in the head with a thought disorder...

and not actin like a zombie cause i've been 

'apped"

under no circumstances was I to speak ....about

THIS..

especially to a shrink...

except as alibi...

I was ..true "to the cause" in the beginning
on the team

i thought
it was
going somewhere..
i thought i was being fixed..
re-educated.
re made..enhanced..in some way
by the interface

..
the problems began when i
began reading
about
others in "the experiments'
and that everyone seemed to have the
same story
...
and that
the point of
the "tests" was not just to create a viable product for mass consumption
but to also "get rid" of the
testers

by using the
interface to drive them to
first
verifiably and 
charted..

with a diagnosis 
madness.

(in this way...the Human testing would not be believed ...as direct neural interface was /is about as close to schizophrenia as 'being there"
and next..
if the "subject' was not
somehow "adaptable" to The New Way...
suicide
by psychotronics

is The Way

and also they convince you that

perhaps 

perhaps

you exiting the  world might be

a gift yo the world

as  a'type" like you ..a type like me

maybe

would be doing the world a favor by 

admitting that without social reforms 

My stock

would have been

eased out anyway