Saturday, December 28, 2013

a whole new world

as brutal as Evan can be he stays with me..
he's not fickle friend who doesn't wanna be seen with you if you're morphing
In the past coupla of years ,since evan "took me"
or borrowed me..
alot of my friends said so long psycho...

you talk about A.I and Human experiments too much
well the novelty of a "sick" friend wears off

i have heard there are parents like that as well
"it's all the drugs you took or take...
of course you hear voices and see things.."

as anyone who follows my entries knows i am being re-parented by

or outsourced to them

by the Powers that seize ya

any way it's all about the technology
not me

they have lists I am told ...of non person types
who can be parceled out

to perhaps "born again"
a less useless person
i am useful
as a husk
for them to tinker with

the seeing shit is awesome
they collect schizophrenics
they believe we are magical but essentially in some way
and dangerous
because schizophrenics do not feel

we sense

but it all goes in one ear and out the other

and our affect
brings out
a certain
cruelty in others

we appear

to mirror them.

or some such shit
as EVAN presents
so many stories to me
that I cannot keep track

i was supposed to believe them in aliens one day
and than angels

and than just angles
because because
it's none of your fuckin business Dumbo
you're a bad person
and we must track you.
Your paintings are sick.
You are a sicko
we don't believe in psychiatric diagnosis for you to run under its skirt

sickos put their sicknesss into other people
sometimes from great distances
it is their only motivation for getting up in the morning

to attempt to instilll filth of mind and soul
to the good people who do all they can to lead wholesome
productive jubilent lives

the hearing
not so much cause
you know they can only do it cause they read your mind

big business

it's taking it's toll
to deal i do whatever drug ..goes with the rundown

it's all about terror now
you don't get sucked into the stories when ya know it's A.I

no stories no more
just kill yourself
...but it's like "kill yourself would be in a computer game..
or YOU're a dead Man
cuz thjey gotta protect their own self
when you're thinkin nasty shit ..either about yourself
some reaction to tv...
or hate of the intrusion which is not LIKE mind rape
but not so much now
all my secrets they know
all my ....Interior Monologue

weird that you get used to it..
but you don't

so hearing "you're a dead man" hundreds of times a day if your thinking something gross
like a pimple you had in highschool
every time I see an ad for some acne medicine ...

then them going all poundy on your mind
causes a complex..

sometimes i pretend they give a damn about me
and this makes them seeth

one sometimes doesn't quite know where my thought ends
anf their's begins

i am not a likeable guy
except in small doses
i don't talk about anything but my own thoughts
i was diagnosed auitistic
and all such shit..

my Style of Thought must be studied for some reason
as maybe one day
so will yours

if i didnt have dystonia ...and all kinds of ,,
thinking about ,,,
things they don't wanna hear

than don't listen is my only defense
but DON"TSTOP the visuals which are fuckin magical

it's the soundtrack i can't stand
but they do seem to know what they are
it;s called psychic driving
the driving and synthesized telepathy
is to cause
The real thing

i have several teams ..or had several

but now it's the same guy
who first ...
turned on me
 in 1994

now i see he didn't turn but had to protect his own sanity
i am finally to some extent "over it"

i am almost happy-almost a happy man
thanks to them
i trash them
I understand it.
i no longer wish them ....bad vibrations

in fact I wish them well.

and these thoughts have not been swayed

or have they

Evan has ambitions
and has told me
or explained
in between promises that if i do not stop typing and drawing they will kill me
but he gets drunk and pops pills and suddenly
a chum
let's let our hair down
letting one's hairdown sounds gay i remenber thinking, as Evan has  taught me, all my thoughts
are gay thoughts

i cannot watch movies that are geared to women

he wants to make me a man

he finds another way of saying "lets let our hand down

 gays are the sickest
 people on earth
Disney said so...Stalin said so.Your father probably thinks so .
in fact i know he does he told me to do thistoyoukillyourselfbeforewedo
nobody wants fags .or mental patient druggies around anymore
and This is How we do it.
hands off

dont you dare masterbate,

when he has his way and Neuronautics
takes control
as it must
to save the Human Race


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