pace14

surely
thought Layla
looking at the blinds now on the trailer floor
and at the parking lot on the other side of the filthy window
the Large Man  was not here to seal the deal with any kind of  reassurance
was the Large Man's intention
a means of castigation of what she had previously thought was quite a
honorable and bold move on her part to use
any means possible  to secure
her child's  safety and  thus  inclusion in the world
neuromodulation was what was promised at the TruGenic Rational Research Laboratory
to normalize her son's thinking from inward to outward
from Autism to Socialization

looking at window and again at the floor
Layla recalled the loud  noise the abrupt action  had  made
that woke her up  to the means of action supposedly required to change Denny's predisposistion
from inside out

and all Layla wanted now was to leave the trailer ,fetch her son and  -

"I was told a little about what  the Brain Computer Interface would imply..about the decoding  ..yes..but really I didn't think about

( Denny Pace Notebook 41)

the way it works .
the way they work
the OTs ...the Operating -Tel-Presence
is all based on your own thoughts which they decode

nothing has nothing to do with anything but you
they consume you with you

so much you is read and than served back to yourself
you long for others to bring you out of yourslef

but they see something in your need to get out
they feel it..even if you do not say a word about the seeing ,hearing and least of all the fact THEY you seek as companion
even temporarily
are being recorded
in this cruel and unusal way

the OTs want to discover how someone "app-ed"
acts with others.

and thank God there is still
something in you that does not want anyone  to be used ..nobody is there to be used in this way
except what you call 'The Unity Theater"...the Communications Theater of Placed varibles meant to act as if x  to your y
as "What Would You Do  Cause and Effect"
as Sociological  me  Tarzan you Bane.
as a quick fuck   or quick cry on a Placed Person's placed ,offered shoulder.
to "act" as volley
act as  catalyst
for relvant data
and these are the men and women you now find yourself
engaging with ..for that is their job.

engagement with placed performers
is fair
but  not fulfilling except in the most remedial way




your own fears own hopes .,your own disappointments ,regrets
to make you feel not only are you being punished.and hurt  but that you are doing this hurting to yourself
it's the dreams now more and more ..
manufactured
to serve as some kind of attempt at not only controlling your waking waking conscious that can some what be thought by diversion
by noise ...by white noise machines ..by traffic  and all the seeing one can seek to  override the head's up sight onl;y you can see.
but at night they have you  prone
and paralized in another type of thinking you cannot run away from
is it the dreams they use..
the dreams they tinker with that distrub you the most..
because in spite of yourself you know that stuff is getting in parts of you
the parts of subconsciousness even you can't access
so many of the dreams now are of warning...
and of guilt
that it is my faoult  the interface is going so poorly
that there are things a better man would have done to make sure  his thinking was accomidating to  the study

(2)

"But what Mrs Pace ? You didn't really think about it thouroughly .Didn't quite think it through,"The Large Man said looking down at his nails

'Excuse me ,: Layla said ," What I am saying is I neevr quite considered  the extent of what this research might require of my son...and I have changed my mind .'

'No Mrs. Pace I don't think you have considered this through either...I don't really think it's possible that anyone who thought of others in a manner that displayed  even an ounce of regard for others would have allowed things to get this far .Only a horrible mother .A horrible person at their very core would have taken one look at three  dirty trailers in the middle of nowehre..that might ease the burden of having a son with behaviral issue