Ethnographic Research

I go out for a smoke
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smoke - it's what mental patients DO-
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and what else is a guy who does THIS all day -
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what else is a guy hears voices and sees shit all day ?
a Pioneer?
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nah, a Mental Patient -

thing is -even if 'it all came out "
this stuff is being done  ( is it even being done ? I find myself thinking
-it is - but even one's subjective reality is based on what the majority rule is considering what - reality is - )
..
I'd STILL be mental
this is - fictional coping strategies / enforced writing -aside
( a bit of both?)
torture...
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"oh , poor guy Jim Bloom - he's entrained in that new form of ankle bracelet
I heard about on NPR ..what do you think he did ..he kinda' has a pedo look to him now that I think about it.."

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thing is..
day to day it's adding up faster and faster - I want OUT of this
which means only one thing - suicide..
so in a way - I feel sort of good lately..
-
guy at the "Neuronautics" meeting
- I can take him as some kind of 'one more last straw"
a novelty
now
like the rest of it
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before I opened up this box
in this bog I came across my old friend Scott Snyder's Mister Bloom
the weird looking oddity
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made me think
- that's who I think myself as - Mister Bloom
the mis-shapen freak
from Batman
even if we didn't have the 'same " name I'd take one look at "him"
and say THAT is Me..
stooped..sick looking ..ungainly..-
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thing is - even if that guy at the meeting
wasn't a "placed person" - stimuli for some Ethnographic Research
I saw him as nothing else
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that's what this gaslighting / Human Factors testing does to a person
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makes them see everything
every one
as just ....testing..-
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who can live like this / as this

NOT ME