Human test subject

I do the stuff they want .i smoke the stuff "they" always want me onnlt only to -make me (if you believe a word I say .and you don't  and if u did who cares.u have problems of your own .i mean really.and if you knew it was real what could u do about it ..I am a guy who simply clutters up your Facebook scroll ..let's get real..if this documentation accolished one thing at all it accomplished discovering how little a man screaming SOS matters with one billion people speak -posting at once.
Scary -
The stuff I use ..does not -get me high 

But makes me freeze up 

And numb

It makes me feel terrible and temporarily

Y brain damaged 

Yet at least in control of my own nervous system

the way the stuff coats my lungs

Undoing months ..a year (?) 

Of not using 

Also makes me feel a sense of  relief ..that yes ..I really might just kill myself.

to escape being a human. Test subject 

It was not always the reason I was encouraged to -partake - by Mandlers