Sunday, February 7, 2016

XXXX tries getting the crayon lines off the TV but they won't entirely come off.
He pauses from his anger at me (he didn't like the kid either )  and asks why there  is crayon the tv anyway ..and I say cause I was for a while trying to trace the tv charcters to learn how to draw people -duh
And than XXXX says ,calmed down now ...realizing  the tv can't be sold on e bay..
(Having at least taken 300 dollars I had squirreled away in case I needed meth or something..for a rainy day..and says Jesus're supposed to be the good guy
and I say I know but that day I think EVAN ,one of my Mandlers. Completely wet over ride on me...and I didn't know what I was doing
And "you know EVAN sometimes cannot help himself"
XXXX knows this is true .
But still...he says I should have somehow fought it better..that he know there is some part of me that likes EVAN
Of course there is some part of me that likes EVAN I think but I just know not to say it.
Because we sorta needed the roomates..and money..especially because I told some art guy that someone told me to paint in an Outsider Art way ..
And now the value of my art is less.

"I told the kid it was a story ..," I say ,like the kinds of stories my foster parents would tell me.about kids being trapped in fridgerators because their parent took them to garbage dumps and put them there because they were bad and sometimes forgot to take them out.

"Well..I'm gonna call Proxy Cyber you know and see if EVAN really was your Operating Tele -Presnce that day or if you're just turning mean on us" XXXX says

"I am whatever the Mandlers want me to be" I graph

"Your job is to fight the Tele -Presncse not roll with it.."

"Sometimes I just don't care...." I say and wish I hadn't because XXXX puts his hands on my throat and says'"you better start caring"

XXXX stops and I begin to raise my fist.XXXX just shakes his head..and picks up the little notebook of carttoons ..or more so Story Boards for the remake of 1988's the blob

"These are horrible.." XXXX says

"Yeah things are really not going well here..with anything.."

XXXX looks in my eyes and than hugs me ,holds me but I feel nothing but Mandled.and not by XXX?.just Proxy Cyber

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