the way this group treated me
if it is any indication

I will die gladly


there is and has always been
nothing
good about me

they call it aspergere's
I call it complete self absorption
and a complete lack of caring for the world outside myself

people like me
should not be allowed to live


if there is a god...
he will take me
and forgive me

the group will not

they hate me in such a way I can only in bits comprehend
I am promised a slow and painful death

I cannot comprehend this either

if I write too much of my
life
which has been a series of sociological tests


as if a specimen
I will be assumed by you more delusional than I might already seem

I have hacked off my hair
for some reason this helps
me get in to the "spirit" of the cruelty
of The Voice
which is not the voice of god.
but voice of god technology
it will drive me to suicide
but I am too lazy,
too...forlorn  and too
less of a man to do so..

my lacjk of essential manliness
not including my homosexuality
got me
into the wrong way
to begin with
I am a chosen one
.