i'll be damned if I am going to my 3rd stepmother's house...
so I stand there half looking .half hailing a taxi..
half wondering .where I'm to go....all I have is the 40 bucks..
I think of various friends...but you just don't show up freezing or not on some friend's door step
"uh can I sleep here" my roomates had a meeting about me and how my presence in the house"
now frightens them
I lost most of my friends from talking about hearing and seeing things all day long cuz of the "apps" anyway...not cause they were scared for me or scared of me...but
"this brand " of lunatic" was not "the cool..Oh U soo cwazy" sort of cray cray that my previous persona seemed to fit into their "mix"
I think of names of people I can go to...and more so "the groups" of people I know
who by this time have filled their "this is my cwazy artsy friend" quota..by now ..
to go with their "this is my tattoo guy friend" this is my "jock friend" this is my "lesbian" friend" this is my or our "dumb but beautiful friend" this is our "funny though fat friend"
it's weird that while freezing ...and wondering where am I gonna sleep not just today but ..for like
days after...your mind is prattling about all kinds of things
meaningless to to the task at hand....going somewhere quick not to freeze.
I start walking to the nearest bar.
I have the keys to "my house" but there's no way I'm going back there...so I gotta be careful I am thinking to drink real slow....not too much..
I sit down at the bar....which is pretty full...or at least too full for the bartender to
like come over quick....I rarely make eye contact...
or even did before I began seeing stuff nobody else could...
often...or when me and my "Mandlers" got on better years ago
they would actually use the Tele-Presence stuff to "make me"
DO eye contact by displaying a tiny star or pin point like "mark"upon my
"aim" to learn how to "look at people" the way" so called "normal" people do...
back than people I knew before the "app" thing actually commented
-you never made eye contact before-
at the start I would just nod or say ..."onward and upward"
or something dumb my Mandlers "told me" to say
and not say "Oh I am making eye contact with you cuz' my "new way of Seeing"
via Occiptital Over Ride of my visual cortex lets me see..pictograms and stuff
so I know "where to look" during
conversation....
than
as this 'teaching me .teaching me became more like testing me testing me" I began talking about
why I now made eye contact and about Occipital Over lay and Over Ride
LIKE AN IDIOT! I'm now thinking ...in that dumb bar...I didn't even want to be in
cuz 'after years of me wanting people to understand the "apps" and Tele-presence...
the one's that do...
get iT too much...
I am aware that my train of thought is hostile ...and therefore might be making me both LOOK and moreso Eminate my hostility upon others
according to Gary Rainy one's intentions of thought even if not spoken of or carried out
cause electromagnetic assuage to the atmosphere..and those in the atmosphere...
I don't think about it much
I used to...when I was taking courses and was a Level 3....and believed I was seeing this new way and hearing this new way cuz of remote viewing skills I had acquired..
from being "in and of the group"
I swear I saw the bartender look at me...and wonder if my emanations of anger...or just my un- adjusted eyes or just my
Beingship" and emanation of such is making him NOT ask HEY you need a drink...
I wish I lived back in LA where you could "sorta" sleep alright on the street
but really -it's freezing everywhere at night ...florida...California....whatever.
but least it's not arctic.
I sit there at the bar....and remove my jacket ...like how Gary Rainy writes'
One must sometime annunciate their Intent (staying at the bar,in this case)of Beingness
sometimes minute to minute.
drink or no drink the bar is warm,,,,and I begin thinking how odd it is that people aren't really allowed to just build fires in or on land they don't own..
or even I think if you own land...and who decided any can own land anyway? and I begin thinking all my problems would be solved if I could just burn fires where I wanted to..and speer buffalos to wear their fur when I am cold.and than on at least that day of speering the buffalo
I wouldn't have to worry about eating...and maybe if I stored the buffalo meat right for days and days.
Cause of my "education"my "Mandling" I stop this kind of thinking which according to Gary Rainy is "SELF DEFLECTIVE" and causes one to not only appear "unapproachable" but emanate "silent unseeable signals of "unapproachable-ness"
I see via Occip' a golden blue star...that indicates
I am "thinking in the right way"
than a wordless" Notion " (a wordless interface of idea
or what they call "a Pack") that ONE does not
THINK about one emanations ..by now one's Guidance System has accrued the philosophy into
their physiology of "Beingship"
next
Evan graphs with words-
"Focus on where you are and WHAT you need and IT will
Come"
so I stand there half looking .half hailing a taxi..
half wondering .where I'm to go....all I have is the 40 bucks..
I think of various friends...but you just don't show up freezing or not on some friend's door step
"uh can I sleep here" my roomates had a meeting about me and how my presence in the house"
now frightens them
I lost most of my friends from talking about hearing and seeing things all day long cuz of the "apps" anyway...not cause they were scared for me or scared of me...but
"this brand " of lunatic" was not "the cool..Oh U soo cwazy" sort of cray cray that my previous persona seemed to fit into their "mix"
I think of names of people I can go to...and more so "the groups" of people I know
who by this time have filled their "this is my cwazy artsy friend" quota..by now ..
to go with their "this is my tattoo guy friend" this is my "jock friend" this is my "lesbian" friend" this is my or our "dumb but beautiful friend" this is our "funny though fat friend"
it's weird that while freezing ...and wondering where am I gonna sleep not just today but ..for like
days after...your mind is prattling about all kinds of things
meaningless to to the task at hand....going somewhere quick not to freeze.
I start walking to the nearest bar.
I have the keys to "my house" but there's no way I'm going back there...so I gotta be careful I am thinking to drink real slow....not too much..
I sit down at the bar....which is pretty full...or at least too full for the bartender to
like come over quick....I rarely make eye contact...
or even did before I began seeing stuff nobody else could...
often...or when me and my "Mandlers" got on better years ago
they would actually use the Tele-Presence stuff to "make me"
DO eye contact by displaying a tiny star or pin point like "mark"upon my
"aim" to learn how to "look at people" the way" so called "normal" people do...
back than people I knew before the "app" thing actually commented
-you never made eye contact before-
at the start I would just nod or say ..."onward and upward"
or something dumb my Mandlers "told me" to say
and not say "Oh I am making eye contact with you cuz' my "new way of Seeing"
via Occiptital Over Ride of my visual cortex lets me see..pictograms and stuff
so I know "where to look" during
conversation....
than
as this 'teaching me .teaching me became more like testing me testing me" I began talking about
why I now made eye contact and about Occipital Over lay and Over Ride
LIKE AN IDIOT! I'm now thinking ...in that dumb bar...I didn't even want to be in
cuz 'after years of me wanting people to understand the "apps" and Tele-presence...
the one's that do...
get iT too much...
I am aware that my train of thought is hostile ...and therefore might be making me both LOOK and moreso Eminate my hostility upon others
according to Gary Rainy one's intentions of thought even if not spoken of or carried out
cause electromagnetic assuage to the atmosphere..and those in the atmosphere...
I don't think about it much
I used to...when I was taking courses and was a Level 3....and believed I was seeing this new way and hearing this new way cuz of remote viewing skills I had acquired..
from being "in and of the group"
I swear I saw the bartender look at me...and wonder if my emanations of anger...or just my un- adjusted eyes or just my
Beingship" and emanation of such is making him NOT ask HEY you need a drink...
I wish I lived back in LA where you could "sorta" sleep alright on the street
but really -it's freezing everywhere at night ...florida...California....whatever.
but least it's not arctic.
I sit there at the bar....and remove my jacket ...like how Gary Rainy writes'
One must sometime annunciate their Intent (staying at the bar,in this case)of Beingness
sometimes minute to minute.
drink or no drink the bar is warm,,,,and I begin thinking how odd it is that people aren't really allowed to just build fires in or on land they don't own..
or even I think if you own land...and who decided any can own land anyway? and I begin thinking all my problems would be solved if I could just burn fires where I wanted to..and speer buffalos to wear their fur when I am cold.and than on at least that day of speering the buffalo
I wouldn't have to worry about eating...and maybe if I stored the buffalo meat right for days and days.
Cause of my "education"my "Mandling" I stop this kind of thinking which according to Gary Rainy is "SELF DEFLECTIVE" and causes one to not only appear "unapproachable" but emanate "silent unseeable signals of "unapproachable-ness"
I see via Occip' a golden blue star...that indicates
I am "thinking in the right way"
than a wordless" Notion " (a wordless interface of idea
or what they call "a Pack") that ONE does not
THINK about one emanations ..by now one's Guidance System has accrued the philosophy into
their physiology of "Beingship"
next
Evan graphs with words-
"Focus on where you are and WHAT you need and IT will
Come"
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