Black Slacks

notice how the change in the blog drops artifice
it is because
the "mentors" have

you must know who they are
I still do not admit that it could be them

now I worry about
death
my will is notarized.

I know beings come back ...
I know
too much


they feel they will be free of all of it ..
only when I am dead
 a transfusion of
my sick interface

why don't they simply stop.?

why can't I live as before.

but I can't

I am not suicidal

I am doing well physically and financially

I see a dr ,a shrink twice a month

I have friends who care about me

but

the Voices

or what I write sometimes as EVAN or A.I or Human Experimentation

this has turned on me

 

but it might have had the same glitches

everything I think is wrong,,,,but nobody should be in another's mind..

ever

I am a diagnosed schizophrenic
I wrote of my hallucinations a New Way as  a technology I have discovered is being created to essentially introduce my kind of Shattered thinking to the masses..to present an alternate reality or what they call virtual reality ,,that I have discovered can be done now with tiny bio sensors called nano particles that can enter a person's body /blood stream unknowingly..the creators seem proud of this specific fact...UNKNOWINGLY is good

and that's when the trouble began

how do you know
these THINGS

ans I said
"know what things'?i am simply insane

who got to you?thery asked

"no one ,"I said...not knowing what these serious men in black slacks were talking about..

stop it.they said..the writing ..
but I couldn't and wouldn't

I am crazy
crazy people write crazy things...
is my alibi

PRISONER 2543...(conditional release program)

what do the voices sound like a shrink asks
I say
they sound like someone had been listening and deciding what precise pitch I might respond to precisely
as if someone
had collected for lack of better explanations
"samples"
or textures of voices ..
that cause a type of startle reaction

for instance a male voice evokes  both my father and how bullies from my youth would speak
how both "Power" Pitches might stun me into submission..or deer in healight stillness.

a woman's voice would also weave itself into "the dialog" the voice seems based down to the decibel  and cadence of a crule babysitter who used to taunt and abuse you

it is sound yes
 but it piggback's upon
ambient sound ..
for instance if a fan is going
it adapts it's sound to the sound of the airconditioner

there is usually a "running " negotiated "delusion"
perhaps one week
I am found wanting concerning  my masculinity or lack their of

"what type of man for instance plucks his eyebrows.."

this act
for some reason
repulses them more than for instance defecation ..

they are with you always.
you must make all sorts of allowances for them..

you see I now have a unibrow..
just to get along ..not make waves

showering too
disgusts them
3 times a week for less than 3 minutes

also regarding  my "toilet"
we negotiated a diet
of easy to digest edibles
...
and east food to masticate,,or chew.
it disgusts them
my chewing..
it is one of the few times I cannot hear them

Cole week 85(EYES WIDE SHUT)

 

the fear shows

more than any trace of madness


 

what is the plot

that
I do not know

I have written
many uses for mind to mind  communications
and moreso about one party having the "dots" inside their body
and the other party
simply having access with processors that can be removed..as if it ..
psychotronics was just all in a days work..

the plot
is also that if the population is unaware of unseen undetectable "sway
many ideas ,emotions etc maybe introduced
the system is sophisticated
and can correspond and "pick up" on one's interior designs...including how one might talk to themselves..

the plot
a very small group of legislators or change makers are developing the checks and balances that ...judge and diagnose another's cerebral worth,,

also there are ideologies
whether they consciously thought so when creating the programs meant to burrow into layers of consciousness..about what way of thinking is right
and what type of thinking is wrong...or sick

casting agents and cowboys

Human Brain Implant Research Suspended At Major University by Andrew Brownstein, Staff Writer The Albany Times Union 8-25-99 – Albany

— Professor whose work is at issue has focused on surgically inserted mind-control devices The University at Albany has shut down , Professor Kathryn Kelley explored the claims of those who say they were surgically implanted with communications devices to read their thoughts. According to colleagues, Kelley has privately claimed the university is violating her academic freedom.. A school committee eventually chastised Mack for engaging in unorthodox research and “affirming the delusions” of his patients
John Mack, a renowned Harvard psychiatrist has an international reputation. He earns hundreds of thousands of dollars in grants and won a Pulitzer Prize for his biography of T.E. Lawrence, known as Lawrence of Arabia.

Despite the inquiry, Kelley, a fully tenured professor who earned $67,000 last year, is slated to teach two graduate courses in the fall. The department became aware of Kelley’s theories as early as the spring of 1998, when a note on her office door announced a lecture called “The Psychology of Invading the Self.” The note described implant research funded by the*********with an annual budget of $2 billion. The “uninformed, unconsenting subjects” of these devices were typically “federal prisoners and political dissidents,” the note said. At the same time, Kelley won approval from the review board to conduct research on “advances in technology that affect interpersonal communication.” In a 16-page outline to the board, Kelley said she wanted to look at the uses of technology for “monitoring and control.”

Papers Kelley delivered at two recent conferences suggest that she was becoming fascinated with the subject of mind control. At the annual conference of the Eastern Psychological Association in Providence, R.I. — attended by several UAlbany graduate students — she delivered a paper that looked at implant claims as “one of the indicators of schizophrenia.” Yet many colleagues began wondering to what extent Kelley believed that such implants were actually occurring. “A lot of people wonder where she draws the line,” said one graduate student, who asked not to be named. “Is it hypothetical? Or is it fact?” In a more detailed treatment she gave at a conference earlier this month in Orlando, Fla., Kelley lent more credence to the phenomenon. She described how a subject might be implanted with the device during anesthesia, perhaps leaving tiny stitches visible in the ear. She called the devices RAATs, short for radio wave, auditory, assaultive, transmitting implants.

“When (short-wave) operators transmit to or scan RAAT implants in victims, they can talk to the victims remotely and anonymously, and hear the victim’s speech and thoughts,” Kelley wrote.  few professors had heard of the groups behind the Orlando meeting of the World Multiconference on Systemics, Cybernetics and Informatics, and the International Conference on Information Systems Analysis and Synthesis. The Web site for the organization, based in Venezuela, said it is devoted to cybernetics, which it describes as integrating various disciplines into “a whole that is permeating human thinking and practice.”

The Big House -1979

for a time Gary Rainy and Valerie Prentice were a couple.
they were compatible because both preferred their own counsel and both
thought more about their own careers
than the usual propriety and niceties most relationships relied on

Gary and
Valerie separate rooms they had converted into offices

 in the Big House


,neither could afford.

the money came in
from various store front shops that acted as "confessional""hang out" joints..The Centers of Knowledge deliberately set up to seem "young,airy...welcoming to all no matter their social backround ..pillows were thrown on the floor ..free coffee and soda..there was no hard sell going on ..just a sense of peace and promise..often a client  or newcomer would see and select their future Mentor at these :stop In" centers..
the Neuronautic's main requirement
for letting a client stay and begin  their studies  was
honesty
and trust


 a mentor's job was to lead the client up the TruGenic scale of normalcy and human enhancement by practicing the way o f Gary Rainy's teachings
the course were offered in packages.
the expense often flummoxed a new convert
but a good mentor convinced the client
that money was the least one should be concerned with ..as Neuronautics was about Soul

the soul schools
paid for The Big House
where Valerie worked on getting a leg up on the technology that made it possible for a client 's 5 senses to be completed taken over by Gary Rainy's (and Parasol Pictures}new reality

Gary rainy who also saw the technology as a way of keeping his flock in the "spirit"
also spent much of his day translating various tapes and videos  and writings into a format that would literally go right into a member's nervous system and personal paradigm of How To Be

COLE. WEEK 85

 

long ago

I stopped living

a life.meeting new people..doing new things

I suppose I am now what one might call a hermit..

I suppose many like me are or become isolated...

they lose jobs friends family

connection to anything

but the Mentors

they hear what I hear they see what I see

they feel nothing of what I feel

and I feel so little anymore

the mentors care little for feelings

only

brain mining

reverse brain engineering...some call it

I am in a cult only in that separatist methods have been used to make a Proxy relinquish one's ego to the Group

the group seems more concerned with business and research and findings and discovery

no longer does the interface play games about

making me more.

fostering potentials..

I am a camera

I am a lab rat

I am doomed

yet a lab rat has a reason to awaken

if only for a food pellet or water.

...but these tiny mammals who have been

used too long

soon do not bother

they change

they don't move.

they die

my every encounter .My every Cognitive or Emotional Response to situations

nothing more to my mentors than some sick TV show

 

 

I drink.

I pop pills

I smoke crack

snort heroin

anything to muffle my mind

to all but destroy it

before it becomes fodder

for "testing"

 

for all extensive purposes I am insane

only Proxy Cyber and myself

know the truth

 

Gary Rainy's ideas and breakthrough book "Neuronautics"

and "Inway to the Enway"

are the Mein Kamf of The New Way

 

I pause.

waiting for a response .

a zing through my hippocampus for thinking "wrong" about the Process

the leader..

The New Way

I get almost more frightened sensing nothing

 

 

I used to think "who did this to me?"

who

"apped" me.

and "why"

what did I do..

 

some adolescent ravings on line about the country..some mean spirited rant against "The Man"

when I was posting non stop .drunk..at 2 in the morning ...not sure if I wrote to be someone

...a writer? or because I cared...

my girlfriend was the one who went to the protests ..signed petitions..

I just wanted a by line...

 

or was I apped for no reason

wrong place right demographic.

oh the things I have since read.  about human testing

supposedly halted.

NEVER AGAIN

I watch president Clintons apology for MK Ultra and laugh

if they only knew how ultra

testing would become

 

only a few people are creating A.,I and Immersive Reality

a handful

imagine less than 100 people literally creating the new world..

they don't call it political

only

methodical...

a brain scan that methodically collects one's neural data

and weighs a person's worth to society based

on

science-ideology TruGenic's

and where one falls on the "scale" of Being..preposterous ...but true

and since nobody believes this system  nor the technology is already here

there is no one to stop it

the better they get at it.

the more sure they are

that the gods themselves sanction

the "reads" of one's mind...

no longer private

 

at this point I feel like a Reactor

as my "reactive" and Automatic Thoughts

respond only with aggression

to "the church of the poisoned mind"

 

the whole thing turned on me

the deeper the

encoding went

my mind  retreated or sputtered out "sick things" like a squid spewing ink

I was accused of deliberately mocking my Mentors

deliberating

transmitting thoughts that would hurt them

I countered that The Reads were driving me insane

they countered that "by now" I should be used to it

will we really soon live in a world where one is used to their every thought being read..

and dissected...

 

the period of time I became that hostile

I was locked up..

many Neuronautic members work in these places ,these hospitals ..although they abhor Psychiatry

they made sure I was not given meds..

to tranquilize me.

and destroy a read

I was hospitalized as punishment.

for my thoughts. against

OPEN MIND TECHNOLOGY and Gary Rainy's TruGenic Re-Assimilation

the hospital was torture

I was put in restraints

by smiling wards who had "the look" that said "oh yes am one of them.."

and they knew why I was here.

I was here because I was deemed "weird" now

for my dangerous ,"deliberate" thoughts toward my Mentors,toward Neuronautics..toward the new system..

one of the tactics Neuronautics uses to rid a "member" of their "weirdness"

is a strategy called

Shaming and Mirroring

 

the term they use is "Reflective  Re-Organization"

the brain computer interface  set to play back to me my own "sickness"

24/7 as if the interface were a tape ,a loop of oddness.and the very worst sickening scenarios..

one begs for a return to one on one mentorship

not The Loop.that they threaten may never end